I am posting at almost 3 am because I woke up from a weird dream and couldn't fall back to sleep. Don't worry, I'm not breaking my Lenten resolution or anything but I am a little restless. I keep thinking that I am forgetting something. I never was a list maker so maybe I need to start the habit of making a list and checking it twice to make sure I don't forget anything? I try to write everything on the calendar but sometimes I just don't look at the calendar until it's too late. Kind of pointless, I guess.
Do you ever have the feeling that someone is missing? The other day the children and I were in the car and I kept looking in my rear-view mirror doubting that I had everyone with me. No matter how many times I checked and counted heads, I kept thinking that someone was missing. This has happened to me MANY times. I always wonder at those times where this strange, gut feeling comes from. I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities...(also, I'm practicing my list making)
1. Deep down, I want more children so I am subconsciously looking for those "other children".
2. I had two miscarriages so I am subconsciously aware that they are "missing"
3. God is training me to always keep track of my children and be hyper-vigilant about where they are so I don't lose them, no matter how many there are.
4. I always have extra little ones here (relatives, neighbors, play-dates) so when it's just my own children, I overestimate how many I should be counting.
It is such a strong feeling that most times, I almost wish I could pull over and touch all of them on their heads just to make sure they are really there and I'm not going all goofy in the head.
Speaking of driving in the car with the kids...I was explaining something to the kids the other day in the car. I was telling them something having to do with working steadily instead of in "Fits and spurts" and it came out as the title of this blog post. We thought it sounded so funny (it really cracked Trina up when she heard me say it) that I knew I would have to put it somewhere in my blog.
When I'm trying to yell at the kids lately I make a lot of these goofy errors in my speech. I think my brain is turning to mush. I wonder if there's some kind of supplement I could take to enhance brain waves or something. I also wonder if it's God's funny way of making me take things more lightly and not raising my voice so dang much at them. It must be working because I'm a heck of a lot more mellow about things than I used to be!
Blogging helps too. I'll try to be more consistent and not blog in spits and furtz from now on. (See! Now that right there is FUNNY! Try using it in a sentence without laughing, I dare you.)