One time a priest was giving a talk to a women's group I belonged to and he brought up a subject that has had my head spinning (well, more than it usually does anyway) ever since. That subject sparked about a dozen more in my brain and I've been in a sort of "conversation" with God inside my head ever since. I can only think that this is a pretty good thing, since it promotes prayer and prayer is a good thing, right? Okay, okay, I'll tell you the subject:
(here are my observations-you can quit reading now if you don't want to get a headache that could lead to a seizure or something)
I am not humble...therefore, I must be humble (because truly humble people don't think they're humble)...buuuut, if I am not humble and I strive to be humble (for humility's sake) then once I achieve humility...I am humble no longer...If I pray to God for humility and he grants me humility (like, I do something then I am exposed as a fool and thank God for the opportunity to look like a fool for Him)the MINUTE someone else observes that "wow, that girl is HUMBLE!" then I'm not humble anymore! AHHHHHHHCHHHH! I could go on and on but I'll move onto another subject.
This one stinks. See, I'm not very charitable so I don't like the subject of charity. Okay, it's like this...I want to be charitable to someone. True charity is the giving of something without expecting ANYTHING in return, right? Sooooo...if I give money to a poor person, then the poor person will be less poor. The less poor person will thank me and thank God for me, maybe even, then I will be soooo happy for that person and then I will have received SOMETHING in return (happiness) for my charity which is no longer charitable. I know this one is a stretch but flow with me here...so...what if I'm the poor person. I have no money, no job, no family, nothing worth anything and someone gives me something (because they are just so charitable) well, I'm so used to having nothing that I give it away and that makes me happy for some crazy reason...the person who gave it to me in the first place gets all indignant because I didn't accept their charity so I haven't given them the happiness they were looking for so now, even though I gave the something away (which in normal circumstances would be considered charitable) I didn't make the person who gave it to me happy, (let's say I knew that would happen) and now I have deprived that person of their charity and me too. Whew. Okay, on to my next subject. (I'm all hopped up on dark chocolate...it's good for you, you know?)
Jesus washed his disciples feet to show them how a leader is actually a servant. Okay Jesus. Good deal. At what point after serving and serving, does the authority break down and the master really is just a servant and the former servants have become the master. Is it just the knowing of the master that he is the master enough for the master to be the master? For instance, I'm a mother (master) so I serve by facilitating the household chores and doing corporal works for my kids (servants) and husband (co-master). I have to serve them by not serving them (teach them to do stuff for themselves) in order to maintain my master status and hopefully someday they will be masters (parents or clergy) themselves. Then I can still call myself their master but really I'm their servant. Ugh.
We had a "social justice" representative, a seminarian, come and talk to the RCIA group about "social justice" issues in the Church tonight. I thought he did a pretty fair job considering it's a touchy subject and can go very, very wrong on so many levels. He ordered things pretty fairly but some things raised my hackles a little. For instance, when he said that stupid quote about how "with the democrats you have to manage to get born, then they'll take care of you but with the republicans, you will get born but you'll starve to death" haha. Or something like that. Also he got onto the whole illegal alien thing. So I guess my next subject is (closely linked to the subject of charity)...
Social Justice (from now on referred to as "SJ")
If I want peace, I'm supposed to work for justice (it says so on the bumper sticker) soooo...if I work to promote justice in the area of, let's say, abortion...and my working against abortion incites crazies to do crazy things which AREN'T peaceful....should I stop working for justice? If I just stop, things will get really calm and peaceful (except for the poor baby, but they can't make any noise in the womb, right?) and nobody will launch a counter protest which will be a lot more peaceful. Yay for peace. Let's say I have a neighbor who I know is an illegal. They know that they won't be turned away from a doctor even though they know that their insurance card is from a previous workplace and won't be honored but the hospital won't catch up to the paperwork for a while. They use WIC even though they can afford to buy food without it. They bought a social security number because that's what everybody else who came to the U.S. did and that makes it right, right? They came here with just the clothes on their backs, true, but that was so they could get into the country without raising suspicion. Their family back in Mexico is rich and they live here VERY frugally and send a bunch of their money back to Mexico to help support their family there and save there because they might get "caught" someday and they'll have a nice nest egg to go back to. They never learn English and only talk to other Spanish speaking people, go to a Spanish speaking church and listen to Spanish speaking TV shows and radio. THEN, the son whines that America sucks and Mexico is awesome and he can't wait to go back someday. YEAH, I got issues with this one. Anyway, the SJ guy tonight was basically saying that illegal or not, we were ALL immigrants to this country and Catholic social teaching is that we should be charitable to ALL who come here "looking for a better life". Am I going against the Church to have issues about this one? At what point do we become doormats then smile while we're getting crap wiped on us? Is that what SJ is about? What happens if everyone simultaneously becomes doormats and just accepts junk and turns the other cheek and we lose our nation and all it's laws and then become a third world country ourselves who can't afford to be charitable to less fortunate countries...how is THAT promoting peace?
Jesus says to turn the other cheek, etc. and all those beatitudes then...
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword.
For I have come to set a man 'against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;
and one's enemies will be those of his household."
Oh, I'm just so tired of all this thinking. I've come down from my chocolate high now so I gotta go to bed.
I should have some doozie dreams tonight!