Please, Indulge Me...Or Just Don't

I just woke up craffing (our word for when you laugh so hard, you start to cry...OR for when you are trying to cover up a cry by laughing).

I had the weirdest dream. You can stop reading now if you're like my sister and you hate it when people tell you their dreams...


I was working as a "helper" at the parish school (that I attended from 1-6th grade). The kids were all sweet and the parents were really involved and had meetings all the time so the moms were always around.

I noticed this one mom; skinny, short brown hair, kind of fussy looking, who always seemed to act just a little bit differently than the other moms. One day, I was wandering around after school hours, just being snoopy and busy, I happened upon this one mom in the library with a student. The student was crying and the mom (who is an actual parish member that I know with the initials of JF and is a sweet lady, she was in my dream, too) was trying to comfort her and get the story out of her.

I pretended I was just passing through but I noticed that the girl had cute hair. It was long, blond and it was wrapped all over with those kind of embroidery thread things (like art hair) and it looked a bit much for a little girl. I told her, "Hey, sweetie, I really like your hair! It's very pretty!" and she seemed to calm down a little.

Around the corner, came "Weird Mom", all snobby. She looked suspiciously at JF and sort of grabbed her daughter away and said something like, "Isn't her hair nice? It costs 100 dollars, EACH for those strands of wrapping!" and walked away with the daughter giving us a sort of "HELP MEEEEE!" look.

Later on, I was doing some other things and I heard someone crying again. It was Weird Mom, she was all upset because her daughter wouldn't come out of this one room and the teachers were trying to convince her that it was okay. I got the sense from everyone that they were all very tired of Weird Mom and just wished she wouldn't be so dramatic and high-maintenance. The girl came out and met with her mom but looked just as tired of her.

In the next scene, the girl was crying with JF again, because all of her hair was cut VERY short but I reminded her that I was the lady that saw her the other day. I reminded her that I had very long hair in a braid, remember? She nodded through her tears. I told her that I had gotten my hair cut very short too and all of the virtuous things about having short hair (feels good, doesn't take too long to wash, lighter and not so headachey). I took my hair out from under my hat and out of it's pony. She laughed and felt better.

There was a meeting being held and I horned in on it. I realized that the meeting had been called by Weird Mom. She was talking about how she was so thankful that we had nice moms and teachers there at that school. She held up her daughter's pony tail with the expensive extension thingies in it, as a way of showing how she "saved them" from her irresponsible daughter who didn't appreciate them. I got the feeling that she was some sort of "stage mom" who had some sort of business and needed her daughter to look a certain way and she was upset that her daughter wasn't cooperating.

I had HAD it. She asked everyone (in a very dramatic fashion), "I just wanted to know, is there anyone who had a problem with me cutting her hair?".

I raised my hand first. Slowly, the other teachers and moms raised theirs too. Weird Mom walked out in a huff, like she was SHOCKED that people felt bad about her in some way.

She walked back in, a couple of days later and she was wandering around in a daze. She whispered, "call 911", acting like, and saying that she was going to faint (presumably because she had been told for the first time that she was less than a perfect mother) and nobody would listen. I had enough and told her, "No one is LISTENING to you because you are being a complete psycho. You are totally insane and nobody actually ACTS like that in real life. These people have been bending over backwards to indulge you in your weirdness but you just keep acting weirder. I'll call 911, if for nothing else, than to call your bluff!". I said a bunch of other, truthful things in a very sassy/mean/rude way. I apologized, but more in a "I'm sorry, but..." kind of way. I knew it wasn't right to be so blunt (aren't I always? doesn't it ALWAYS get me in trouble? Ha!...Even in my dreams!)but I was just saying things everyone else wanted to say anyway.

The teachers all looked shocked but relieved. The police came in, soon afterward and I pointed in her direction. They all grabbed her and she started to (weakly) struggle. I said, "Whatever, Lady, you literally asked for it. You are not sick!" and the police turned to me (there were about 6 of them, kind of like some sort of swat team) and, all at the same time, held up these signs on paddles (Weird Mom was holding one too!) that looked like this:

PLEASE
STOP
NOW
.ORG

?

I "got it" right away in my dream. It was some kind of reality/gotcha kind of show where they plant a seemingly psycho person and then wait until someone "breaks" and tells that person off. I held up devil fingers and yelled "ROCK ON!" and laughed super hard, along with everyone else who realized that we got took. The crying turned to laughing when I realized (after everyone came up and hugged me and yelled "YOU WON!") and I felt so good for telling the truth when nobody else would. I also felt great because I knew I had won $10,000!

Then I woke up.

Craffing.

Not because my dream was so weird and funny, but because I hadn't actually won $10,000 dollars.

I could really use $10,000.

THE END

P.S. There is no "pleasestopnow.org" internet address...I already checked.

Crazy Laugh Time

Because crying makes my head hurt and my eyes puffy!



H/T Michelle Malkin

Just Some Clean-up

1. We are not moving to KC, Butch just might be working there for an extended period and we might go to live there for a short time to be with him (1-3 months), sometime in the next six months. We're not even sure that he'll be sent, just want to find out if there are any blog friends out thatta way, just in case. (Someone responded and we are super excited to have a built in community of people that we already know through the blogs. A good church and homeschool community is there for the taking when/if we do go to KC!) This is still a big MAYBE and if we did go there, it would just be like a long vacation and maybe only for a couple of weeks at a time.

2. I got the BEST CD from Trina for Mother's Day and didn't have a pic of it for that post...so here it is:

It is very adorable and I listen to it nearly every day. I love how they are married and their love for each other comes through in their music.

3. I hurt my leg running on Sunday. The day before, I ran 10 miles later in the day and it felt great so I ran pretty fast but I think it was too much to do another 14.5 the next day. I didn't even try to run the 5 for Monday because I just thought I needed a rest, but when I tried to run on Tuesday, a pain shot from my right knee all the way up the outside of my thigh to my hip/femur joint and it HURT! I couldn't manage more than a fast walk for a couple of miles and every time I tried to jog, it was horrible. I'm taking today off and every day until I can run without feeling like I'm breaking my bones with every step. It's depressing but I know I'll be right as rain in a couple days.

4. Thomas says "Mama" now. It's a conditional arrangement where he only says it in moments of distress, when he thinks no one will notice. He never repeats it around me. If I am in the room, he says "Dada!" and laughs his head off. Just now, I told him to say it and he said, "Tractor" and also pointed to the tv to distract and confuse everyone. He's a smart little dickens.

5. Butch hurt his back. He was reaching down to help Mari in the bathroom and his back went "POP!" and his muscle bulged out. He is old. He is getting slowly better and taking it easy (he is the foreman and his guys are taking care to make him NOT do things he shouldn't) at work. We are quite the pair, huh?

Okay, I'm off to watch Trine's kiddos while she gets to run. I'm not really jealous because the wind is 35mph and it's HOT out there. I'm going to rest and have some tea.

What do you do when your 11 year old won't eat conventional breakfast foods and drives you nuts because there's nothing he likes to eat for breakfast in the house? He crabs and rants and raves and becomes a total lunatic (very unlike his normal behavior) if he doesn't get some food in him. He refuses cereal (is he adopted???) and I am at my wit's end when I have to get to the grocery store. "There's nothing to eat!!!" is what I'm hearing right now and he's raging in the kitchen. My head is going to explode.

The thing is, if he eats something, he's perfectly normal and obedient. I know it's a blood sugar thing but I'm about ready to sell him to the circus freak show.

Holla

Hey, any of you blogpeeps live anywhere's near Kansas City, Kansas? There is a strong possibility that we could be spending a LOT of time there in the near future and it would be nice if we had some good neighbors. More about this later when I am more sure...just wanted to send out the feelers.

Mama's Day

JACKPOT!
I so, totally scored on Mother's day!

These tremendously cool and weird socks were from Anna for me to wear on our 20 mile run on Mother's day (which went great...check out the running blog for details) She also gave me two packets of Gu to try...Uh, well, I just really like those socks! AND, superextrabonus...they are labeled "L" and "R" in case I get mixed up. You know I've always had a little trouble with directions...which leads me to my next superly cool gift:

Oh yes, I will never have to call Butch again! Well, I might just call him "hunky", or "studly", or even "luvah", but I will NOT have to call him for directions!

Weazy was so thoughtful and had Mari make me some pixos, drew me a great picture, and gave me some of her Lindor chocolate which hit the SPOT!


Before I knew that they had all gone through so much trouble to get me such nice things, I went to Monticello to drop Bocker off at Roman's birthday party at the bowling alley. While he partied like a rockstar, I went down the road to the pawn shop to look for a palm sander for some projects. They had a bunch of guitars but there was one, kind of scrappy looking one as I walked in. It appealed to me because it looked pretty worn out and kind of loved. The clerk was a bluegrass player in the south and helped to try to tune it for me (they were new strings so it was pretty tricky). He had the thickest fingers I've ever seen on a dude. I figured if he could play that guitar (which he did a little), then even I could do it (with my chunky fingers)! He let me play around with it (as if I even have a clue) and I BOUGHT it! I felt so naughty. It wasn't expensive at all but I felt so silly to buy something that wasn't food, or clothing, household, or garden related! I usually go and get flowers for planting for my mother's day gift but this year, I decided that this would be my gift to me (plus, it would help me to teach the kids some things about music and maybe could inspire them to be musical?).

Here she is!

She's got some scratches and a wonky G string tuning key, but I LOVE having a guitar that I don't have to worry about getting knocked around a little (or a lot, like this morning when it got knocked over 3 times on the porch!).

I named her "Betty Lou".

I wrote a song on my run today, I'll practice it and try to get a video of it soon.

Boogers and Oatmeal

Yum!




...AND, he's willing to share!

Cousin It

I'm pretty sure I could have been mistaken for that guy. I got sick of the shaggy, icky, haven't-taken-the-time-to-just-go-get-a-haircut-already, witchy hair so I went and escaped on a whim yesterday. It was fun.

BEFORE:


AFTER:



Heeheeheeheehee.

It's Fate

...if you believe in that sort of thing. Which as a Catholic, of course...I do not. But it is.


I was nominated (wonder by whom?) for the Bat Shit Crazy category in the Crescat's Blog Awards. I personally would like to thank the Crescat for much humorous inspiration over these five years of blogging.

I am both horrified, honored, and humbled...um...okay, I am not humbled. It takes more than that to humble a vain, important, totally awesomely cool person like myself.

Just ask Regina who helped me with my template (which I had thought of last week, BEFORE I knew about the award!) JUST IN TIME for the illustrious award contest!

Or even you could ask my daughter who took that pretty picture up there on the header.

You should for SURE ask Paula (the red, she's got a private blog) because no one knows more than her. Also, she's the one who's great idea it was to commune with ACTUAL BATS in the caves that one day.
How serendipitous was THAT?

You COULD ask photobucket because that's where I went to edit the wrinkles out of that header picture before I had Regina put it up there.

I am also feeling pretty, dang good that I keep such lovely company. A lot of the nominees are listed over thar on my sidebar.

So, go vote for some of them peeps and be sure to vote for yours truly because, deep down...in places you don't like to think about in normal, everyday life...you KNOW I deserve to win that award.