Saturday, September 13, 2008

That's All: Folks

Have you been totally irritated by "buzz words" during this campaign season? My major pet-peeve is the use of the word "folks".

It all started last year during all the campaign stops in the midwest when the (mostly democrat) candidates were talking about "regular people" in their "off the cuff" speeches.

So, there'd be this one guy who would try to sound like good ol' Rufus, down at the fillin' station. You know, "folks" in this here town, they been really strugglin' to pay the mortgage, buy food...blah blah blah.

Now it's mostly Barack Obama (but every candidate is guilty of it at one time or another) saying things like, "I don't know any folks that...", "If folks want to get extra help with their utilities...", "We want to give folks the opportunity to..."

YUCK. If I hear that condescending jerk say the word "folks" one more time, I'll explode.

Okay, I probably won't explode (and yes, I lied...I'm writing another anti-O post but it really applies to all those jerks who try to sound like "us" and end up sounding like major dumb-asses) I think the only "folks" who would fall for that schmaltz are maybe some elitist snobs who have never gone on road trip outside of the city, have never mingled with the unwashed masses, or who have never had to run down to Walmart to buy some toilet paper and diapers. They are sitting there in their bizarro world drinking their latte, watching CNN and thinking, "Wow, that Barack Obama really speaks to the little people of the country. He really seems to relate to the folks who are down on their luck and just need a little help to get over the hump if they could just go green and volunteer we could give them some assistance and sign them up for WIC and get them to vote for our sociali...I mean "progressive policies" then we could build some affordable housing and build some solar panels and the government could subsidize some more windmills and..."


Okay, I'm better now. I propose we keep a "Barack Buzz Words Count" and here are the BWs I'm keeping track of (let's the debates only from now on):

"Y'oh" (which means "you know" which means something like "Do you understand what I'm saying...because I don't")

"folks" (which means "those strange people that I don't know but I want them to think that I relate to them and like them...y'oh...The dregs of society that will all vote for me?)

"um" (which means "durrrrrr, duhhhhh, dohhhhhhh, errrrrr, ahhhhhh, where is my teleprompter????")

"ah" (complete with extra snobby 'eye blinks'. means: see above^)

This is gonna be fun, folks!

(...and it will save my freshly painted walls from fist-smashes. Repairs are time consuming and costly these days. Y'oh? The cost of raw materials is rising because of the greedy oil companies and "big sheetrock"...)