I can't wait until the Good Fri. service at our church. It's always so somber and serious. I've been trying to contain my excitement as it doesn't really seem appropriate, does it? Just like saying, "Happy Ash Wednesday!"..."Happy Good Friday!" just doesn't seem right at all. But that's kind of how I feel. I get all jazzied up when I think that Good Friday means it's not long until the Easter Vigil when my candidate will be in full communion with the Church, Easter is here and we can actually say, "HAPPY EASTER!" and it doesn't sound funny!
Tonight (Thurs.) at church one of my cousins said, "Have a Happy Easter" and I responded as they were walking out, "Happy Easter!" and immediately thought of how inappropriate that sounded. Right behind me, behind the soundproof glass in the sanctuary, hundreds of people were still in adoration in the dark. They were praying and being with the Lord in a special way until midnight while I was jiggling my niece and waiting for my sis to fetch the car because it was COLD and windy tonight. They were waiting and praying and I was loudly exclaiming, "Happy Easter!" like an idiot. I know that if I would have had the disclaimer, "Have a..." it would have been completely fine as I may not see her until after Easter, but just blurting it out like that made me sound as if I was celebrating before the big event...hmmmm...buuuuut...at Mass tonight, Father was talking about how the Eucharist is an eternal event linking us to Heaven so I was thinking that maybe, since Jesus is eternal (was, is, always will be kind of deal) and He transcends our whole "linear time plane" thingy...just maybe I could have even said, "Merry Christmas!" and that would have been a-okay! No? Alrighty, I'm just trying stuff out here. It really has been a trying Holy Week. Butch hurt his back and can't work. I'm stressing over bills and a non-existent school schedule. The weather has been horrible and we can't really get outside because of the wind and rain and Butch needing the car to go to the Dr.. I went to adoration and fell asleep about 3 times instead of praying on overdrive like I should have been about Butch's pain and the kids needing extra attention and instead I'm letting them play Nintendo and veg out in front of the boob tube.
I'm freaking out here, people!
And yet, I'm still excited about celebrating my candidate's first Easter as a full-fledged Catholic, getting dressed up and looking spring-ish even though it's 20 degrees outside, the Easter egg hunt for the kids at mom and dad's, and celebrating our Lord's Resurrection because of his great love for us (of course!)!
So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm learning that even in the face of sorrow, there is always hope. Which is the message every year in the signs that God gives us in spring, but apparently needs to beat me over the head with since I only just got the message this year. Thanks, God, you can go ahead and consider "message sent", 'kay?
Please pray for our family and HAVE A HAPPY EASTER! But first, have a really junky Good Friday (sorry, I couldn't resist, heehee)!
