Friday, August 28, 2009

All Aboard

This time, it was a dream about a train. I've never considered the hobo life, but apparently, it's somewhere in my subconscious.

My sisters and I are just getting done with a huge train ride. We are in our old bedroom in the basement of my parent's house, discussing our adventures. We all agree that it was a mistake to ride on TOP of the train cars because of low bridges and rain. We laugh when we remember how we went on this clover leaf thing and how we got separated when we were playing "leap from car to car" that one time. My sisters are much more experienced train riders than I am and I am in doubt that I'll ever get as "into it" as they are. We start discussing family issues and I disagree with how they are handling a certain issue.

I have a lot of anger about something but my sisters are at peace. They had brought a person along on the train ride with whom I am super angry. They get all lovey-dovey and say good bye to that person but I am holding on to my rage. I want to call and chew that person out. I want to punch them in the face. With every nasty name I call that person, with every fault and sin I point out, my sisters laugh and say they are "over it and why can't you be?" I get angrier and louder. I know it won't do any good, but the anger is so that it's making my voice hoarse and my blood pressure rise. The most infuriating part is that my sisters are so calm.

I wake up with a dry throat and nausea.

I don't know if the nausea is because of the pregnancy, the thought of riding on trains, or the deeply sick feeling I get when I think about the person that is causing so much anger in the family.



On a totally unrelated note:

P.S. PLEASE pray for my long suffering friends. They just keep getting blow after blow and they need tons of prayers right now: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaeltalley