Saturday, August 26, 2006

I AM Skinny...

...well, what I mean by that is, while I HAVE lost weight, I am realizing all too quickly that I have lots and lots of SKIN! By doctor's orders, Katrina (daughter) and I have been following the basic principles of the South Beach Diet since Friday, July 14th. The first two weeks were challenging, but I'm finding the rest of it to be pretty easy to follow. The trick is, to not cheat and to actually FOLLOW the guidelines and not backslide. Just like anything in life, I guess. I have gained and lost so many times (well, at least 5!) so I know I can do it. I promised on this post that I would post a "before" picture and here I am at that concert with Hal, my sister Anna, and my extra chins:

When I look at this picture, I remember that it was the very first, full day of the diet and that the guy standing next to us offered us popcorn and I had to say "no". I also remember how when I was dancing with Anna, I tried to keep my back to the stage so nobody would see my extra jiggling. Now, I know I'm being hard on myself, and I could blame the extra pounds on my having had my fifth baby just 4 months before. I could also blame genetics, the cereal industry, the blogging community (heehee, you guys make it so fun to stay up late and I HAVE to eat extra cereal to stay awake, you know?), or the fact that I have children who don't allow me to exercise. Okay, now about this post title. I have so much gol-danged skin that even if I DO lose ten more pounds, I will still be about 2 sizes bigger than I would if I DIDN'T have all that skin. But, you know what? I don't care. I don't care that I look like a "before" picture from one of those plastic surgery shows. I think of every saggy part and every stretch mark as a badge of womanhood. Besides, I can always just shift it over or tuck it in or hide it behind some clothes. I will never belong to the Catholic Jumper Society or the Catholic Burka Association, but I can dress in a way that shows how hard I've worked on making my body healthy without letting it all hang out, can't I? I also blame part of why I gain so much during pregnancy on my husband and my BDD (body dismorphic disorder). Hubbs says that I look sexy no matter what my current weight is. I know that BDD is usually what you think of as a disorder of the severely anorexic who look in the mirror at an emaciated stick person and see a big, fat lady. I have RBDD (reverse body dismorphic disorder...yeah, I just made that up) where I look in the mirror and think, "hmmmm, not bad, I'll just suck in my gut and lift my head a little" I see myself 40 pounds lighter than I am at all times. THIS time, however, I couldn't avoid the reality that none of my clothes fit and every time I tried on a shirt that SHOULD have fit me, Chris Farley's voice from Tommy Boy singing, "fat guy in a little coat" kept coming into my head....I decided that I can't blame anyone but me and I'd better do something about it. Yes, Kelly, I am still breastfeeding, which for me actually holds on to the fat a little longer so it's extra hard to burn. I work out on the elliptical machine in the garage for 20 minutes or so when Mari takes a nap in the morning. I do push ups and sit ups and try to stretch, but by that time someone is usually hollering about something someone else did that bothered them and I'm lucky to get a shower before Mari wakes up! I have about 10 more pounds to lose before I'm at my goal (where my clothes fit the way I like them to). I lost a lot of water weight in those first two weeks which made me feel so much less bloated and made me feel more motivated to keep going. I didn't even look at the book after week three because I get what works: lots of salad, cheese, (nuts, whole grains in moderation),lean meats, non-sugary vegetables, olive oil. I try to focus on what I can have vs. what I CAN'T. I definitely recommend the SBD book for the reasons WHY all those bad carbs and extra fats affect your body.
Okay, now here is how I looked after church tonight (mind you, I have a tomato stain on the front of my shirt and I'm all frazzled from just nursing and making dinner):

I am down about 3 sizes in clothes and I am finding that most of my clothes are ill-fitting for my body (the skort I'm wearing here is about a size too big but it's all I could find). The shirt is about 5 years old and hasn't fit me for a LONG time (now it's out of style, but it FITS! HA!).
Okay, so now I won't talk about it anymore. I will pray for those of you struggling with post-baby weight and health problems while you pray for Katrina and I in our quest to be healthier.