Sunday, August 07, 2005

Mama-o Andretti

OKAY, before I tell you about the latest zinger from Trina, I feel it's necessary to give a little background info. Every time Butch and I are in the car with or without the kids we do this bicker thingy about how I think Butch drives too aggressively and doesn't know how to:
A. NOT stare at just the road ahead of him
B. NOT listen to country music full blast
C. have an actual conversation while driving (I know he is a man and therefore incapable of multi-tasking, so I'll give him a bit of a pass on this one on account of his handicap which is quite generous of me, don't you think?)
D. wait patiently for someone to move into the slow lane without going right up to their bumper
E. Observe interesting things along the chosen route of the moment (i.e. hey Butch did you see THAT? NO)

The main complaint I hear from him about MY driving is that:
A. I drive too slow, then too fast
B. I go RIGHT up to the stop sign and THEN SLAM on the brakes (this must really happen because he dramatically braces himself every time he sees a stop sign ahead even though NOBODY else in the car does this, hmmm)
We usually bicker about all of these things until we get where we are going and the kids have heard this enough to where they have started to join in and take sides. At first they used to think we were fighting, but now they know that it's more like a sport with us and they laugh and think it's funny.
Yesterday we decided to take Papa's boat out to BB lake and do some boating with the kids. On the way to the lake, Butch was wondering out loud how we would get the boat in and out of the lake with all of the kids with us etc.. I don't know how to drive the boat and he thought he'd better teach me so I could move it out of the way fast when we launched and drive it up onto the trailer when we landed. I told him I didn't care to learn how to drive a boat because I was wary of a vehicle that doesn't actually come with BRAKES. He sassed me by saying something like, "Well, we ALL know that brakes are something you don't use until the LAST SECOND anyway, so it should be no difference to YOU!" We got into the old argument again and the kids perked up and joined in. After a few minutes of this, Trina settled once and for all the question of who was the better (on the road) driver...

"HEY! Mama, Daddy can drive a boat, but YOU can drive a CAR!!!!"
Butch just sat there with his mouth agape while I hooted with laughter and slapped him on the arm while gasping for breath.

I always knew that girl was a genius.