Busted in December

Okay, so I missed ONE day. Big whoop.

Actually, we were very busy yesterday. In the morning, I went to the benefit breakfast for the Talleys. Their neighbors organized it (Applebee's facilitated the event) and the kids served the breakfast. A bunch of people donated some REALLY cool prizes (one I was hoping to win was the American Girl Doll. It was "Rebecca", the one Weazy was hoping to get for Christmas). I did not win, but it was really nice to be a part of something like that.

THEN, I had to do a whole bunch of last minute shopping for Anna's bachelorette party. It was so great the way it worked out. Butch and the other bro-in-laws went out to shoot in Menomonie (Anna's Matt's brother, Chris couldn't join them because he was called away for an emergency with their son, Mason...say a little prayer that they can figure the fever thing out!), but they had a very great time. They went to shoot clay pigeons at Matt's parent's farm, back to Menomonie for tavern fun, back to Matt's house for...I don't know...drinkin' dude stuff, I suppose. Butch reported that they had a great time.

Us girls (about 17 or so) went to Rachie's house (so nice of her to host it!) and made some DEEELICIOUS treats, chatted like girls do, and opened presents. Then, at 9pm, the LIMO came. We planned on heading to the cities to do some Christmas lights touring and visit a club or two...then Anna decided we should head back to our home town for some hick bar hopping. It was so so so fun to see Anna really enjoy herself and cut loose! We ended up at a bar where a local band was playing and I was so amused by how skeezy guys are these days...I suppose they were always like that, but my whole adult life, I've only been with Butch at the bars, so the skeezers would leave me alone. Not that they were "hitting" on me, mind you. Really, it's hard to be sexy and funky when you're 5 months pregnant with your 7th child and the only one NOT drinking! Anyway, the guys were super funny to watch. Some of the other groups we ran into were really funny too. There was this one girl who had a birthday party and they were wearing old bridesmaids dresses...not sure how the theme followed through...also there was a "purple party" for another birthday girl. That was was actually kind of cute. The guys in the party were all wearing festive necklaces along with the girls. Okay, it was kind of lame, but it was SOMETHING. All in all, it was a very successful party day. Here, at home, Trina entertained my three youngest and my sister's four until we got home at almost 2ish am. I was crashed.

I missed Mass this morning (which was a good thing, I heard since they let a nun talk for over 20 minutes!) so I am going to 6pm Mass. It's good to have that option as I was in no condition to sit at Mass this morning. I hadn't had a drink (unless you count sparkling apple cider?) but I felt like I had the WORST hangover. Now, I have this theory that the reason you feel so crappy the day after going out has less to do with the alcohol than the pounding music and the strain of having to talk over it, staying up later than you are used to, and having to contort your body into unusual shapes just to make your way in and out of crowded bars...oh wait, that's probably just me. I must have said, "Oh! Excuse me!" a thousand times last night because of my belly bumping into people.

That Lovin' You Feelin' Again

You know that twitterpated, wonderful feeling you have when you think you might first be in love? You know how it consumes you and every time you think of your beloved you get that feeling? You could be sitting at class, strolling a cart through the store, walking down the street, working out at the club and all of the sudden, you think of your new beloved and whoooohoooooohoooooooo you get "that feeling"?

It's amazing, isn't it? Do you remember how it would hit this little part at the bottom of your stomach and all of the sudden your face would flush and you felt like you just HAD to see your beloved at that very moment? You just KNEW at that moment that you must, for sure, LOVE that guy/girl! Oh, it is glorious (and I don't use that word, ever)!

I was talking, one time, about this to my sister, Katrina. We both agreed (big surprise) that people don't realize that they will NEVER feel that feeling again, ever. Some people have that immature notion of "love": that they must only "love" their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend if they have "that feeling" and if they don't have "that feeling", no matter how hard they try to get it back again, then they must not really "love" that person anymore and it's over.

SO WRONG!

Here's the thing: Love is so so so soooooo much more than "that feeling"! I didn't even really realize this until about 5 years ago. CRAZY WOMAN! Why would you admit that? Don't you LOVE Butch?

Of course, you fool! I really, truly, and with all my heart, body, and soul LOVE my husband. At first, I loved him because he seemed to be right for me (selfish) and he seemed to really like me for who I was (selfish) and he seemed to really think that I was great, even when I didn't feel so great about myself (selfish). I had "that feeling" and it was awesome!

Then, we had children and got busy and took each other for granted. I still "loved" him but it sure seemed like it came a little harder than it did before and it was on occasion that I ventured to imagine why people left their marriages. It was scary and stupid, I decided, to leave the person with which you had so much stability and comfort...even if you hadn't grown past "that feeling".

I don't know when the "change" happened, but I feel like, with every passing year, I LOVE Butch more and more and feel even more bonded and IN LOVE with him. It's a NEW kind of twitterpated, a new and wonderful kind of love that makes me have a funny feeling in my stomach. It's sort of the mirror image of what I felt way, way back when. It's the kind of funny feeling that comes up when I think about how I would feel if I would lose him...sick to my stomach about EVER being with anyone other than him. I know it sounds a little bit naive, but I could never, never be with anyone else. No one could love me like he does. No one could love my children the way he does. No. I chose very well, back then. I used to think that I made my decision based on "that feeling" and that I might have chosen differently if I had given myself a chance to mature...but now I really don't think that matters. I really believe that REAL love happens when you stop waiting for it to happen and you start WORKING and BUILDING right where you are.

I told a young man in a new relationship (tonight!) that, if you don't "know" within the first few dates, then it will be a choice: you start to decide what you will "put up with" and, if it's too much, a person should just call it and leave with honor. That's why I believe that "marital relations" should actually be saved for actual MARRIAGE. You have NO regrets when you leave a sub-par relationship. Your body didn't get in the way of your decision and you have left no part of yourself behind to dwell with that other person and any other relationship they might have in the future. You actually COULD leave and "just be friends". What a great thing it would be to not have to play those stupid, emotional games!

This horrible Tiger stuff brought those thoughts around again. Why would ANYONE feel like "the grass is greener" or need anyone other than the person with whom they CHOSE to build a life? I don't understand it and, I suppose, I don't EVER want to understand it, because that understanding would mean that I don't love Butch, and never did. What if Tiger would have expressed to his WIFE how he felt having so much overwhelming wealth, talent, popularity made him feel like life was "too big" to be contained within his marriage? What if he had told her that he had women throwing themselves at him and that it was too much for him to handle, as a man? Maybe, if they had gotten help with that reality, they could have gotten even stronger in their relationship and teamed up to repel all of the evilness that is constantly trying to break apart ALL families? I don't know, but I do know that he wouldn't be in the trouble he's in now. I pray for his family, but I don't know how you come back from that kind of betrayal.

I wish all people who were thinking about being unfaithful could see, in a magic ball, the tragic and sickening consequences of their actions. I wish they could FEEL what it feels like to each person involved (spouse, children, in-laws). I wish they could, for one moment, take that moment and banish the thought forever. The moment a person gives attention to, or accepts attention from someone, other than their spouse, is the beginning of the end of any chance at that REAL, lasting love that God intended for the original couple.

Love is an ACTION! Love isn't a touchy feely FEELING...it may start out that way, but it can't hold on without many ACTS of love on the part of both people in the relationship.

Find ways to ACT upon love, to strengthen the bonds of love between you and your beloved, EVERY DAY.

No one has/could ever build a life of PURE JOY out of a sordid, "secret", skanky affair. It's tacky, embarrassing, life-altering, family murdering, miserableness for all humanity.

Thus ends my rant for today. I've been working on this one for a while. If you are still with me here, you must really, really love me (or be a glutton for punishment...either way, I love you right back!).

Latergaters.

Cooler in December

A week or so ago, I noticed that Tommy found an unusual "toy". My in-laws like to go to those local business expos and get free stuff (pens, pads of paper, funny hats, balls) to bring over to us. We have a lot of little advertising doodads around but Tommy really became fond of a neoprene can cooler (just like one of these). It is navy blue with a white "Anchor Bank" logo on it. He liked how soft it was, I guessed, and he would put his little fist through it and rest it on his forearm. I didn't notice how much he liked to wear it, until I realized the other day that he woke up from his nap...STILL wearing it! When I offered to help him get it off, he yelled at me! I asked him, "Tommy, what IS that?" and he looked at me like I must be stupid or something and said:

"Football."

?

I told the kids, "Hey, ask Tommy what that can cooler thingy is!". He had the same answer, every time!

Now, Tommy is the first sub-two year old in the house to even give a hoot about any sport. We noticed his love of sports when, during the playoffs, he watched the Yankees and Twins play. He started to actually PITCH the ball as though he were a real, live, professional pitcher...with follow through and everything! We tried to capture it on film but I accidentally erased it. It was amazing. He was REALLY watching the pitcher on the mound and copying his every move!

His football obsession is even worse. The other day, he was fussing so Matty asked him if he wanted to just snuggle on the couch and watch a show. He said "Yeah, football!". Matty told him that there was no football on today. He was SO disappointed, so Matty tried to find some sport channel on the menu. That's when Tommy discovered ESPN Classics. He made us watch some 1982 College game. If we turned the channel, he was incensed! How could we? That's FOOTBALL!

Butch has created a monster, for sure this time.

It wasn't until today that I figured out what that little neoprene "football" meant to him. At first, we thought it maybe represented the player's pads? Then, we thought that the little logo looked like some football team logo and that he recognized it as something like that? NOPE. I got it! He watches the games SO closely, that he's noticed how the quarterback has that little armband which has the plays written in it. He thinks his "armband" is that thing. He also wore it to bed tonight. Luckily, he's got teeny arms and it doesn't cut off circulation, but I think maybe Santa might bring a REAL one for Tommy this year. Instead of football plays, I think it might have some pictures or football cards inside it. It will be his favorite present and I'm sure Santa will make it JUST the right size, because I'd be willing to bet he will NEVER take it off!

(Always take pictures of your kids when they do naugh...I mean "adventurous" things. It will help to diffuse the frustration. That smudge on his cheek was my super-stay lipstick. It superstayed on him for 4 days. I finally got it off, after a bath, with some baby oil, and some scrubbing.)

December Mystery Revealed!

GIRLS RULE!

At least NOW, in THIS house, they do!

Okay, now for the name suggestions?

I really like Cecilia and it's been an option since Analise...but was never grabbed before. The sisters all have threatened to take it...I might this time but, since this is a nikname family, I can't think of one for that name (I HATE the way "cece, seesee" sounds, blech) I also like Irene for a middle name. I'm open to suggestions (for now!). The only qualifications are that it has to "go" with Katrina, Analise and Mariela. It has to be sort of "special and different" but not weird like "Loquashia" or something. It has to be a little bit princessy but not overly so. Here are the names we can NOT have (nieces):

Alexis
Anika
Gabriella
Anabella
Paulina
Lucia
Sofia
Madeline

Okay, have fun with suggestions!

December Hope

Please say a prayer for my friends in their most difficult hours! Michael Talley is hanging on for the holidays but he is in a lot of pain and is afraid to sleep, lest he never wake up. Here is his caringbridge site. Here is a lovely article in the Star Tribune about the family. Here is a story (with video!) of the Talley surprise we pulled off a couple of weeks ago. The Santa is my dad! There are a lot of my friends and some of my family in the crowd! It was such a nice day and it made the family so happy to see the love and support they have.

Please, leave an encouraging message/donation or just drop a line to let them know that you are praying for them. Michael needs assurance that his family will be lifted up when he is gone.

Thank you!

December Tunes You Love To Hate (A Poll)

Look to the sidebar of the blog to find the poll of all of the songs nominated for worst Christmas song ever (according to my fb friends and my family). Put in your vote and I'll post the results next week sometime. Meanwhile, go see Crescat for a really awesome "Tacky Nativity Scene" contest that will make you laugh and that would probably make Baby Jesus cry (you can see the nominees with this link until tomorrow when she will probably post the finalists in the poll).


(Saw these in Target. Some things just defy good taste beyond all belief.)

Gender in December

I have a dilemma. It's probably a really stupid one but I'll throw it out there for ya, anyway. When I first found out I was pregnant, it was a week after the two little girls told me that they were "praying for a baby girl". I was floored that they would want another sister already, since Tommy was barely one and a half years old?! So, after trying to convince them to shift their prayers to some infertile couples that we knew (and having them say that they would pray for THEM too, but that they were still going to pray that we got a baby girl!), their prayers came true.

I didn't want to know the sex of my first baby, but I did hope for a girl and got what I wanted. I knew with all the others, for different reasons. I have every other sex, so this next one should be a girl...but you know about God's funny little jokes on me and how He likes to mess with me all of the time? I am very tempted to NOT find out the sex (at my appt. this Wed.), since it doesn't matter at ALL (never did!) what the sex of the baby is...on the OTHER hand...

I have tried to prepare the girls for the possibility that this baby is defying the odds of this family and it will be a BOY.

Me: Mari, you know, this baby might actually be a BOY?

Mari: But what if it's a girl?

Me: But what if it's a BOY?

Mari: But what if it's a girl?

You can see where this line of questioning goes...EVERY TIME and you can see, also, part of my problem. Analise is a little more practical, but I can see that she REALLY BELIEVES that her prayers will be answered and that it can really be nothing but a girl!

I know, I know, you are thinking "Oh, they will love the baby no matter what!". Yeah, that's true of course, but I wonder (especially about Mari)

(conversation happening RIGHT NOW)

Trina: Mari, will you still love the baby in mommy's tummy if it's a boy?

Mari: (thinking...) Yeah.

Bocker: (piping in) But it's gotta sleep in MY room, so it's a BOY

Mari (shrieking) NO! It's sleeping in MY room, so it's a GIRL!

sigh

Now they are running up to their rooms to plan who has the most room in their rooms and discuss further what the baby might be according to who has the most appropriate sleeping space.

I think I'll find out on Wednesday. (Hahahahaha, probably something will be "in the way" and I won't be able to find out?! That would be JUST LIKE God to do to me! He is so funny!).

What do YOU think?

I Thought He'd Be Born In December

Back when I was pregnant with my BIGGEST baby, I had a due date of November 30th. I knew he was a boy, and I knew there was a chance I'd go overdue, so I theorized that he'd be born on the feast of St. Nicholas. Since we planned to name him "Niklaus", I thought it would be super-extra-cool if he could be born on his saint's feast day!

Well, as you know, God has other, funnier plans (always) and I went into natural labor at around 2am on the 30th of November. Yup, my ginormous baby, whom I thought could stay in there for another week (I wasn't in a hurry, I was going to give birth at a hospital that is 7 minutes away and I wasn't quite ready. I also had just gone to the doctor the day before and wasn't even really dilated at all!). His birth story is my favorite if you want to read about it here.

Fast forward to today. It is the eve of the feast of St. Nicholas and I can't help but remember about wanting an extra week of being pregnant (which would have made him over 11 pounds, I'm sure!) with the first baby born after two losses. I guess, looking back, I treasured that pregnancy a little more than any before because of the hope that a baby, brought to term, represented to me. His delivery was the worst of the the first four, but he is the BEST kid. He's easy going, friendly, funnier than all-get-out, and snuggly (he will probably always be snuggly, even when he's a grown man). He just turned 6 last week and is just as funny as he was when he was a week old, six years ago tonight. He made me laugh (as soon as the pain from giving birth to that chunk of baby!) from the moment I laid eyes on him. He never gets self conscious or embarrassed when people laugh at the funny things he says and does. He just always assumes everyone is laughing WITH him (which is usually true!) and I hope he never loses that ability.

Happy Birthday/saint's day, Niklaus John, my sweet, big, squishy boy (who is still obsessed with Texas and wants to go there someday)!


(Bocker, holding up our town's water tower on a walk we took last month. He is still really big and tough for a kid his age. It's a good thing he has a smooshy heart. He is a gentle giant.)

Will It FINALLY Happen In December?

Go here to vote in an informal poll about the Mass translation re-vamp! I'm so excited (have been since last year) about this. I hear teeny rumblings in my parish but I don't think the people will quite know what hit them? Whatever happens, I know it will all be old news and okeydokey within a couple of years (with minor growing pains). I'm just very happy it's all in the works and coming soon!

H/T, the wonderful Fr. Z

If We Make It Through December

HA! I bet you thought I wouldn't even make it past the third day! WELL la dee fricken dah, here I am so there tttthhhhppppttttt!

Seriously, I am so stressed out that I have a rash all over my body (TMI alert, whoops, too late) that doesn't bother me during the day, but at NIGHT it drives me NUTS. I'm pretty sure it's candida infection (too much sugar, stress, not enough "good" bacteria, overgrowth of yeast in my whole system) according to the internet searches I did on "rashes during pregnancy". By the way, do NOT look up anything having to do with "rashes, images". It's not pretty.

Is it bad to secretly (not anymore, I guess) wish that a couple thousand dollars just fell in my lap during December so I wouldn't have to worry about presents, decorations, donations, food, etc.? To make matters worse, Butch has extra time off during the holidays (for which he doesn't get paid) and that's always a concern. I know I know, I should be all "but it's about family, and love, and thanksgiving, etc." and it SHOULD be about those things, but the other things matter, too.

I heard Glenn Beck this morning talking about how he sold his house (took a loss) so that he could work his way to being debt free. I actually considered what would happen if we went back to renting after all these years. It wouldn't solve the problem of a car (we still owe for a couple of years on the van) but BOY wouldn't it be great to be even CLOSE to being debt free? It can't happen right now (I'm pretty sure we couldn't afford the loss we would have to take on our home in this market) but it's an interesting proposition I might explore if the market perks up.

I don't usually talk about this personal stuff but I'm so stretched right now (financially and literally...this baby is growing FAST!") that I know my good pals who read this will sympathize without getting all mushy about it. BUT, lest I be accused of being too dry in this post, I offer this picture. Go ahead, stare at it and try not to say "awwwwwwwwww"!

(My niece, Madeline. I get to squish those cheeks in real life. Jealous?)

December Days

This is going to be a monumental December! We are getting ready for my baby sister's wedding the first week of January. Her birthday is Christmas eve and we have her bachelorette party coming up soon too. It's the "month of Anna", I guess! Oh yeah, also Christmas is this month.

We had her first shower in November for our family:


Matt's family had a shower for Anna at Matt's house (while he was still at sea) and I got to hold his sweet little nephew, Mason (this is Matt's Bro and sis-in-law's blog).

Mason is just a month older than Tommy and has a syndrome called "VCFS". It's a combination of symptoms (not the same for every child) that caused Mason to need heart surgery when he was just a few months old, causes feeding and development problems, and recently caused him to start having seizures. Look into this syndrome if you have time. It's a lot more common than you'd think and it's good to be aware of for understanding and advancement of research!

Posting For You Daily In December Happy Makes Me

I just love it when I get comments from people from other countries or company spam comments. They make me laugh. I save them in my email box for days when I feel sad. Here's one for your pleasure:

"Could not find a suitable section so I written here, how to become a moderator for your forum, that need for this?"

Heeheeheehee, come ON! You can TOTALLY tell that this must be a native speaker, right? (Maybe native to Malaysia!). That right there is some funny stuff!

It's my intention to post daily pictures during December, too.

Here's me in my Halloween costume this year:


Guess who?

Last Christmas

I hate the sound of it, but they are trying to make the best of a rally, in how he feels right now, to decorate the house and prepare for saying goodbye. PLEASE, if you can donate ANYTHING to keep this family in their home when their daddy dies, please, do so!

I usually can't stand Fox 9's sucky local reports but this time, they did a good job profiling my friend Nicole and her family in my hometown. Watch it here.

Yo, Vinny, Yous a Catlick Now! (I Mean: "Vincent's Baptism")

Sorry, I can't ever help but think in mobster when I say Vincent's name.

Here's the view from the top of the steps of the back entrance to our church. I want Butch to make a patio similar to this in the back yard. Wouldn't that be sweet?


Here's Vinny's family of some sisters and girl cousins protecting him in his paganbaby state before Mass.


Here is what happens EVERY time we come in the back way...Tommy wants a drink and Matty helps him. It almost guarantees we'll have big water splotches on our shirts and children that have to pee five minutes into Mass. I think it's pretty awesome that Matty does the things he does for the little ones. I don't even have to ask (most times). He's a good son (said in the mobster voice in my head).


While the family waits for Mass to begin (They are sitting next to a scale model of the historic Church of St. Michael. It's really amazing if you ever get to visit our church, you won't want to miss it.), Tommy makes a break for the water fountain. Of course.


Usually, when there's a baptism during Mass (instead of the huge group baptism on a Sunday afternoon...this one was at a 5pm service on Sat. night), the parents, Godparents, and maybe some siblings and a grandparent or two go up to the baptismal hottub...I mean "font". I thought this picture was cool because it only shows about 1/4 of the family that was crowding around that thing! Vincent was so funny during his splash. He had a fun, happy look the whole time and never cried at all.


This is the ONLY, I repeat ONLY time I don't mind applause during Mass:


I took a quickie shot of the dome of the church to show again how pretty the iconography of our church is. You can't see the names of the apostles but I had to for sure give props to my patron, St. Thomas. I doubt that he's happy to be my self appointed patron (get it? get it?).


After Mass, Tommy hopped up on the table where baby Madeline was sleeping in her carrier. He wouldn't let anyone else kiss or touch her. He's pretty protective of the babies in the family...oh heck...he thinks ALL babies are HIS AND HIS ALONE and won't let anyone near the babies if he can help it. I think he'll be just fine around our new one in the spring. Oh, and baby Madeline will be unpaganized later this month (in a smaller church...hope we all fit!).

Insane Preggo Dream Number 942

I know where this one came from. I had just read a big write up about Mary Jo Copeland and how she cares for the street people that come into her Mary's Place in the cities (here in MN). Also, I caught a bit of Slumdog Millionaire yesterday while babysitting (in the morning, before the kids were awake, of course!). I had seen that movie before and it really was a good one but a little hard to take. It's hard to think about children suffering so much in the world, with no one to care for them and everyone around them just exploiting them.

In my dream, there is a little boy of about 6 or 7. He is staying at his uncle's house. I see him because Butch and I are visiting a friend who is in a tough spot. His wife is leaving him, his in-laws hate him and they are broke. The little boy is playing on a huge playset in their yard (he is the nephew of our friend's dad, who lives with them...but our friend doesn't really have responsibility for him). They are trying to get rid of the playset so we start taking it apart and find this little boy at the end of the slide.

He is very confused but not sad. He has on a saggy diaper and that's all. I think to myself that he could certainly use some clothes and he must be able to use the toilet so I take it upon myself to help him find something of Bocker's to use. I bring him home to care for him because nobody seems to mind. The rest of the dream, I'm training him to use the toilet, teaching him to speak properly, and giving him general instructions and love. He repeats everything I ask him and then adds a question mark at the end. For instance, If I tell him, "Now, you should probably have a sweatshirt because it's cold." he'd say, "I should have a sweatshirt, because it's cold?". He'd never directly ask "why?" but I sensed that no one had ever cared about him enough to direct him in what he should do. I know that his mother is a hippie who's drugged out and his father is absent or very very mean. The little boy doesn't seem to be permanently damaged, just a little behind in ability. I take him home with me, even though we are living in poverty at a relative's house ourselves and have lots of kids who sort of resent another mouth to feed. I try to teach them that we should love our brother, even if it's someone with whom we're not related.

I woke up and whispered this prayer: Dear Lord, be with all of the abandoned children in the world. Lead them to safe adults who will love them and care for them. Keep them safe from harm and protected by their angels.

It occurred to me that we don't have any "street children" around here. They wouldn't last a week in the cold. That's the hard reality of life here in Minnesota. I know that children are neglected and abandoned all of the time, but they would be picked up by social services or cared for by a neighbor (I hope) or die from exposure very quickly. I've never seen a child huddled under a bridge or picking from a waste dump. I've never seen a child, in rags, begging on the street.

I am very disturbed by this dream. I think I fear losing my home, my own children, my husband, my way of life. I think, even worse, I fear that the world doesn't care anymore about children...or anything. I must fear that my own children might lose the ability to care about others, or become selfish, or become like everyone in the world seems to be right now. I am all about self preservation, but not at the cost of losing one's soul or ability to reach out and find enough love for someone who has none.