The Secret Of Life

Whew, with a title like that, this aught to be a doozy of a post, right?

Without further ado, I will now tell you "The Secret Of Life"...

Naw, not really. I was just hoping to attract more people to this post and my blog and to re-vamp things a little bit around here. Since the dawn of facebook, it's just way too easy to ignore this blog (I hate it when people talk about their blogs) and just spew whatever and post whatever on facebook and occasionally link to some profound thing here at my blog where the crickets are singing and the wind blows, unobstructed, through the lonely plains of my long forgotten worrrrrrrrds of posts past.

Kids, screwing around while Trina tries out her new backgrounds in her "photo session"



The photographer, trying not to laugh her pants off at how ridiculous it is to have a photo session in the playroom.




The pictures turned out so cute, good thing you can't really see the room and the mess in the finished product!




They get their flexibility from me.




My dumb camera captures Mari's funny face. Trina's shots turned out way better, of course!

 "The Secret Of Life" was inspired by the fact that we are not going to find out the sex of this baby in my tummeh. We didn't know what Katrina was going to be but we knew for all the other 6, so this is the first time in a long time that we DON'T know this basic thing about the baby we can't see on a daily basis while s/he is cooking.

I went to the doctor for the first time yesterday and I am 17 weeks along. I had no excuse for waiting so long, other than "I was busy." The doctor bought it. He knows I'm a 'frequent flyer' so he also knows I have healthy pregnancies and that I don't like to come in to the doc office every 4 weeks. I was so worried though, when he couldn't really feel where the edges of my uterus were for the measure tape and suggested we do an ultrasound (another reason I love my doctor: at the very first sign of ANYTHING, he whips you into the ultrasound room!). I think that they forgot about me for a second though and I sat and stressed out, thinking back to how I don't really feel this baby moving yet and how early I've felt my babies in the past. I sat in front of the empty ultrasound screen, imagining the worst. An undeveloped baby, all kinds of deformities, a baby missing limbs (so it couldn't kick), or any other manner of horrors before the doctor and nurse came in. I have to say that I was actually kind of surprised to see a normal, moving, heart-beating BABY right there on the screen! Yup. Everything is fine. It's just that the placenta is right underneath my bellybutton and it makes it that much harder for me to feel any movement right away. WHEW!

So, the "Secret of Life" here could easily be figured out if the doctor just moved the ultrasound probe around a little and checked around (kind of snoopy, isn't it?) but we are content to not find out this secret until June 16thish or whenever I get restless enough to induce labor and have this baby.

Oh, the kids already know he's a boy, anyway. They shouted to my tummy, "Hey, Baby! WHAT ARE YOU?" then they listened, very carefully, and the baby told them that he was a boy. Why waste time and money on an ultrasound scan when you can just ask a sibling? I should add that they have always been right in the past. Hmmmmm.

Trina's new website is here: http://www.photobykatrina.com/ I think there are some pics from that photo session in her gallery, so you can see how a pro does it ;)

Name Your Inspiration

Butch and I had a small book of baby names for our first baby (we didn't know the sex) so we both took the book, crossed off every name we refused to name our child, or names of old girlfriends/boyfriends, compiled the list of what was left, and waited.

We knew the name would be Alexis Katrina or Katrina Alexis. "Alexis", because I was obsessed with the name "Alex" for a girl since read the book and I saw the made-for-tv-movie "Alex: The Life of a Child"  and "Katrina" because I had always loved my bff/sister's name and how much people thought it was so beautiful and exotic sounding and how much attention she got for her name. I figured I'd give MY Katrina every advantage by naming her that feminine, ethnic sounding thing.

I'm pretty sure that, if it had been a boy, we would name the baby "Ryan". We had a nice friend named Ryan and didn't know many other Ryans so it had good connotations with us.

Of course, you know it was a girl and, immediately after her LONG AND DIFFICULT NATURAL DELIVERY (40 hours of labor and about 5 of it really hard labor) I just really wanted to rest. I'd pretty much had it with everyone and everything around me and I just wanted to sit there and get stitched up and cleaned up and not be bleeding or pushing or in pain. They put her on my chest for just a second but they couldn't keep her there because I was still delivering "stuff" and was bleeding a lot. They brought her over to the light bassinet and dealt with her while my mom, Butch and Auntie Nina ogled her and exclaimed stuff about her. They kept trying to get me to look over there at her but I couldn't say what I was feeling because the doctor was stitching me up and pressing on me and making me feel that I was still in labor!!!

I think they thought (for those brief moments) that I wasn't caring about my newborn baby or that she had caused me so much pain that I didn't want to look at her or connect with her but the truth was that I felt as though I already KNEW her and didn't need to SEE her to have that connection. I was just needing to be clean and fresh when I held her and had the time to really look at all the wonderful features of that new little creature and I felt as though it was VERY unselfish of me to share her with the people I loved so that THEY could finally "get" what I had been feeling all those months!

Maybe I'm not saying it very clearly but these were the things I was thinking back then and I remember them like it happened yesterday.

So, my bossy sister finally YELLS at me "Laura! LOOK at her!" and she held her up, angled toward the bed. I looked over and saw her giant eyes and cute little face with perfect dimple on her right cheek. Golly. She WAS cute! (I still just needed to get cleaned up before I wanted to hold her, though.) I finally held her and we all marvelled about every wonderful thing about her and all that mushy stuff you can only know or feel with your firstborn child/grandchild. Blah blah blah mooshy mooshy stuff you-know-all-that...

Back to the name thing...
So my mom keeps saying "What's her name? What's her name going to be? What's her naaaaaame?"
I told her the two names I liked and repeated them to see which combo fit.

They didn't!

I panicked for just a second and I remember looking at the clock across from the bed that I'd been staring at for hours and hours, counting the minutes like they meant the world. Why hadn't I been thinking about NAMES during this time?

All of the sudden, the song "They Call the Wind Mariah" came to me so I said:

"Katrina Mariah"

It was beautiful and rolled off the tongue. My sister was so honored that the baby's name would be Katrina and I knew Butch was leaning toward that for a first name anyway. MY middle name is "Maria" so I thought it was a good combination of my sister's name and my name (that I actually LIKED, I had never really liked the name "Laura". It was a boring and sensible name, I thought).

At the time, Mariah Carey had hit one of the peaks of her fame. I didn't like her or her music at ALL so of course I flinched when Butch or someone said "Oh, Mariah like Mariah Carey?"

AAAAACCKKKK! Noooooooo!

I said, "NO! 'Mariah' as in Paint Your Wagon and They Call The Wind Mariah" which is a really strange story/musical where Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood actually SING...a LOT. It's so stupid but I watched it every time it was on tv on a Sunday afternoon. My dad would laugh at how those two were these serious tough guy actors who sang in this silly musical. It really is slapsticky but I always loved the power and might of that one song with that old west-y theme behind it. My parents had the record album soundtrack for that musical and I would listen to it on my record player all the time (along with David Allen Coe and a bunch of my mom's old 45s she got when she worked at a drug store in the sixties...another story for another day).

There. That's my story about how a song inspired the naming of one of my children...and HERE is a link to my friend Jim's interpretation of this story mixed with other stories about our other children and how Butch and I met.
(You can view the video of the song I'm talking about at the end of his post)

I will be having to figure out another new name for a boy or girl around June 7th, 2012. "Surpriiiiiise!" if you aren't on facebook. :)

Babies Don't Keep

I took this picture of Evangeline last night. I was reading a story to Tommy in his bed. I had my phone with me and Tommy was playing solitaire on it (to tire him out and entertain him a little before I had to go into my room and plug it in). To my surprise, Butch CALLED me from our bedroom. He said Evangeline had fallen asleep after squirming and playing around on our bed (pretty much her favorite thing to do in life) but that he couldn't move and if I just came in there, I'd find out why...

(Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she was just REALLY tired and hadn't actually passed out from the stink.)

I was cleaning out my game/craft cupboard today. For some reason, this one verse was going through my head all day as I watched the kids mill around, and play, and generally make extra messes because it was too cold and windy to go outside, and it's been that way for days and days...a lot of the time, I find myself turning away from the computer, which gets boring after a while, stopping all frantic cleaning activities, and grabbing some books to read with the kids in the rocking chair...

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow..."

It was a "crosstitch poem" on a plaque at my neighbor's house from when I was a teenager. I pretty much LIVED at that house because they had four little girls that I and my sister babysat a LOT. Someday, I'll talk about the adventures we got up at that house but today, I am just reminded of that plaque. I know the whole thing by heart, even after all these years because I'd read it every time I went over there. I never really understood it until I had children of my own:

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow.
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and
babies don't keep!"

It's the "Quiet down cobwebs" part that always confused me. I never realized that the poet was TELLING the cobwebs and the dust to be quiet and go to sleep...I wondered "what the heck are 'down cobwebs' and how can dust 'go to sleep'?" Heehee!

So, I looked it up and found that no one knows where the poem came from but the best guess is it might have been part of a longer poem that I've found and absolutely LOVE:


Babies Don’t Keep
By Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Lullabye, rockaby, lullabye loo.
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo,
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo,
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

I especially identify with the line:
"And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo"

Godcousins

Butch and I were so happy to have Anna and Matt be Evangeline's godparents. Last year, when Anna was newly pregnant with Marek, we celebrated Evangeline's baptism on May 16th (the ONLY one of my children's baptism dates that I remember...only because it was exactly one month after her birth date!). They have blessed us with the honor of being Marek's godparents and we will celebrate his baptism at the end of this month (probably the only OTHER baptism date in the family that I'll remember because it is also one of my brother's birth date!).

I love this picture (taken by Trina when we were unaware she was taking it) of our first visit to their house since Marek was born. They live 2 hours away and we had a hard time getting there with a broken van and so many people that wanted to visit (no one would let anyone ELSE go if they couldn't) but we finally braved the trashy weather and bald tires and gave it a go. We made it there and back alright but it just makes us wish we could live closer and visit again and again and again...sigh.

Soft and Stinky

I am sitting in the rocking chair in the living room. All is quiet. Everyone has abandoned me except the squirrelly girl in my arms who FINALLY decided to drift off while nursing. I switch her to my shoulder, where she grows limp and snore-y, and shnorkly.

I'm thinking about my sister with her new baby, Marek. I'm imagining holding him and having him fall asleep on my shoulder, limp and soggy, stinky and shnorkly.

Soft and Stinky

I am sitting in the rocking chair in the living room. All is quiet. Everyone has abandoned me except the squirelly girl in my arms who FINALLY decided to drift off while nursing. I switch her to my shoulder, where she grows limp and snore-y, and shnorkly.

I'm thinking about my sister with her new baby, Marek. I'm imagining holding him and having him fall asleep on my shoulder, limp and soggy, stinky and shnorkly.

New Stuff Never Gets Old

I can't believe I've known this child for 5 months and had no idea that she had this...this...this THING inside her mouth that entire time!


Oh, it doesn't look so...well...so obnoxious at this angle, but just you wait...

And THIS is only half-mast!


Here it is. Yes, it DOES look like those Tom & Jerry cartoon shots where Tom's tongue comes out of his mouth and Jerry walks up it like its a set of stairs. This thing is so weird, I just HAD to capture it in all of its glory and present it to you for your careful observance. Do you think she might be some kind of alien, switched at birth when I was taking a bath in the hospital? She looks otherwise normal, but I have my suspicions.

(We were both laughing so dang hard, it was almost impossible to take these pictures! It's this weird new trick she's been doing and there's no rhyme nor reason to why she does it...I think she just LIKES to do it, so she does!)

Counting My Curses

Did you ever just feel like a dang dog some days? Not a nice, fluffy, pampered richie dog but a street dog with matted hair and a mangy attitude? "Poor Me" has been my attitude for most of this summer. Every day I try to stick to the schedule and live and appreciate the moment but, all along, the underlying worries fill the back of my mind and come creeping out at night. I don't get any sleep most nights.

Just when I think we can maybe see the light of day, some family thing blows up or Butch's elbow blows up (which was the case last week...he's better now but the damage is done with one whole week of no income) and I'm ready to slink into the gutter or snatch up the whole family and move to some Amish community in Canada and hide out for the rest of our lives.

Of course, if we lived incognito and separated ourselves from society, I couldn't share things like this with you:

And we would lose contact with the friends, family, and really awesome neighbors and I don't think I can survive without them.

I'm really tired of trying to arrange the days to keep everyone happy and healthy. I'm tired of not being able to keep up with the repairs, messes, and maintenance that this life requires. I hate living in "bare minimum" mode and I feel like I'm failing to make this house a home. Having a new baby is always stressful (and joyful, don't get me wrong!) but it's particularly stressful in the summer months when the older kids really want to go and DO things but I really need them to help out around the house and I have trouble finding friends for them to hang out with that aren't already occupied with their own family fun.

Now, I have to get into "school mode" and that is terrifying to me, as I don't know how I'm going to pay just bills, much less a whole bunch of school materials costs.

I know, it's a huge debbiedowner (whonk whonk whonk whooooooonk) post, but I DID put the blissfully unaware, happy baby video in there, right?
Don't worry, I know how much WORSE things can be. I know of a lot of sick/dying people and of miserable problems that so many people around me are suffering. It sure doesn't make me feel any better. It really just makes me feel a lot worse about the state of humanity and the point of all of this.

Maybe I'll feel better by the next post...but probably not.

Baby Bling

Innocent, naturally stunningly beautiful babies do NOT need it...but every girl likes a little extra embellishment now and then!

One Month Old Evangeline

I'm going to call Michelle to do some special Fall pictures of our family and maybe get some nice pictures of Trina for her sweet 16 birthday this Fall. She took these amazingly juicy pictures of Evangeline a couple of weeks ago. I just wanted to capture EVERY little beautiful thing that I saw in her, since I never know if the baby in my arms will be the last baby born of this jiggly belly. Michelle really knows how to "grab" those incidental shots when most people would be busy fixing the camera or changing the lighting and all that other stuff that doesn't matter much. That's how she managed to get a shot like this:

In that half-second, gassy moment, she spied the smile and snatched it!

I normally don't like over edited pictures but this one is just breathtaking. She looks like a china doll:


I didn't know when Michelle would snap a picture so I just pretended that she wasn't taking any at all and then she took this shot as I was trying to position sleeping Evangeline. E fell asleep so easily, upstairs in Michelle's daughter's room, in the rocker while nursing, so we were able to get the sleeping and awake shots even though Michelle likes to get the infant/newbie shots when they are 10 days or less. I'm so glad she agreed to do it and took a chance on E!

I also don't normally like a lot of gaudy props but I trusted Michelle and we got many great shots like these (I brought some cute outfits but I'm SUPER happy we didn't get a chance to change baby into any of them because 1. It would have made her cranky, she loves so much to be nekkid and 2. she looks extra cute nekkid) :


Trina and Mari were there with me to help and play with Michelle's youngest. I'm so glad they were with me because we used Trina for a hand model since my hands are stumpy and U.G.L.Y. and hers are perfectly proportioned and pretty. She didn't come prepared for pictures but Michelle took this one, sorta sneaky-like and it turned out very sweet:

Notice the difference between long, graceful Trina fingers and short, squatty, man-hand, chewy-nailed mama fingers?


More pictures and comments to come...be sure to visit Michelle's site! I link to it up there on my sidebar (you can't miss it! Thanks, Regina!)...

Promise...Just ONE More Thing...(UPDATE*)

*THERE! It's perfect now! I guess in between her breaks for tea and scones and all manner of decadent treats, she's managed to wave her magic wand and alakazam my blog to beautifulness! Thanks, Regina!

...Before I post those pictures, could you email me with a screen capture of what you see when you go to my blog? Here's what I see on my screen:


Regina is helping me and made this supercool new header (using a picture that my other supercool friend, Michelle took, along with all of the other pics of the baby that I'll be posting soon) and background in her tons of spare time. Gosh, I wish I had that kind of life with the bon bons and massages...anyway, she sent me a pic of what it looks like to her and the words are perfectly in between those two light blue lines on the sides. I'm just wondering what it looks like to everyone else.

Meanwhile...just to give you some eye candy to chew on (since we can't all be gorging ourselves with bon bons, toffee, and truffles like SOME people)...

Mmmhmmmm, I KNOW! Super yummy, right?

Hang On!

I've got a billion things to do today (apx. 1.3 million more than USUAL) and a headache, to boot...(here's one more just to tease you)

Sneaky Peek...

More jaw-droppingly stunning photos to come soon. For now, here's just a taste (don't want to make you faint from too much cuteness all at once!)...

Very Advanced

One and a half days old, and we captured her first smile already. We figure she'll be walking by next week.

Evangeline

(Ah've decided that purple is her signutuh culuh)

Evangeline Susan Nielsen

Born at 1:35, Friday afternoon, April 16th, 2010.

10 pounds 3 oz.

21 3/4 inches in length

I wish I could post the video of her being born. It was such a funny delivery. I had all my sistahs there and they were SO helpful. I'll try to re-cap the adventures for you.

Here's what happened from MY perspective (I've seen the video and it's SO much different than what I was perceiving! The second med they put in my epidural line made me super groggy and nauseous so I was closing my eyes for most of the actual delivery. Closing my eyes made me have a very interesting conversation with myself.):

I got to the hospital with Trina (Butch decided to stay home and just ease the kids into the day so they wouldn't be alone for so long, since we didn't know how long things would take) around 6am. They hooked me up to monitors and tried to start the pitocin but I insisted that they wait until the epidural was placed. That was a good move.

I was dilated to 3 (which was one more than on the day before, so it meant I was already sort of starting labor. I estimate that I would have had her within three days, had I gone "naturally". My due date is today, Sunday the 18th!).

They finally came in and placed the epidural and started the pitocin around 10am (it went a lot faster than it sounds...lots of paperwork and fussing anyway.) then the action started. I was checked about an hour into it and the contractions finally came around 3 minutes, consistently. Meanwhile, all my girls started filtering in as I texted them with updates. My "go number" was 5, and most of them rushed over as soon as they knew it was going pretty fast. Here's everyone "helping" me (before things got intense. The truth is, they are actually more involved in the actual delivery than we parody here in the picture!)


(Oh, Butch finally came, he's taking the picture!)
The picture didn't include Krista, who hadn't seen a baby born before (except her own three). She walked in right after I started pushing. I just saw the video and it was super funny. I pushed, then someone walks in and I say "Oh, HI! Yay, you made it! then I started pushing and had the baby!). Also, it doesn't include Anna, who was in California at her coffee convention thingie. She missed a good one, but she and her new husband get to be the godparents. Oh, did I mention that they are expecting their first baby???!!! They announced it at Easter and we are all so happy!

When things started to hurt, I panicked because that had happened before, and I got nervous when the anesth. didn't come in and bump my meds (he told me if the pain got above 5, to call him) so I had to endure some pretty nasty contractions before he came in and gave me a big bolus of a different medication into the epidural line. It worked and things moved pretty textbook-like into transition. I got the shakes and felt more pressure so the doctor checked me and told me I could push any time. I told him that I could, but that I didn't want to, yet. He told me "that's just fine, we'll let her come down by herself" and I was happy. I could hear her heartbeat the whole time and knew she was fine, so I just fought the nausea and tried to remember to breathe. Rachie was right beside me so I whispered that I was going to try a "practice push" with nobody watching, to see if that did anything. She conspired to hide and distract while I pushed. I realized that I was feeling a little pain with the contractions, and that holding my breath and pretending to push, actually made the pain go away so I told them I was ready to "push".

In my head, I was having the following conversation:

Me: I feel like puking, I need to abandon this "pushing" facade (I really couldn't feel anything to push, so I was totally faking it), and just try to puke, maybe I'd feel better?

Me: Yeah, you could do that, but if you do, then it will take longer and you will be doing this thing forever. How about just keep doing the holding the breath thing and fake it some more until you pass out. THEN, you won't have to puke and maybe the baby will come on her own?

Me: Good idea. They're telling me to "push" again, so I'll really put on a good show this time and maybe my face will turn red. I'll throw in a grunt or two for show.

Me: Heh heh, that would be a hoot.
I had to keep from stopping the "pushing" charade to make comments on what I was feeling and thinking. I thought "they'll never believe I'm pushing if I stop to make conversation!".

So, I "pushed" a bunch more. I never ever felt a baby like this. She was bouncing, moving, kicking, twisting and totally awake from the moment I got to the hospital, until hours after she was born. I've NEVER had a child kick her way out of the womb before! She was pushing and twisting all the way out! That totally distracted me front the queasy feeling that I kept having. I had estimated 8 lbs, 7 oz when we did our last minute guesses (that we post on the wipeoff board). The nurse won with a guess of 9 lbs, 13 oz! She said, when the baby's head was out, "Do you want to feel your baby's head?" I sneered at her, "No, YOU can feel it."

I HATE when people want you to look at or feel the baby before it's totally OUT of the body. I also hate when people say "PUSH". I think I've mentioned that before.

The nurse was perfectly nice, I just didn't get a chance to warn her.

Right before I started to really push, Weazy started crying and ran into the bathroom and puked her guts out. Butch was attending to her during the whole birth. I think he'd rather help a puking child, than watch a baby be born, so I'm pretty sure he was okay with that arrangement. We chalked it up to nerves (which was weird, since she'd seen Tommy be born and was perfectly fine with that) but it turned out, 4 of the six kids had a puking stomach virus all day Friday and most of Saturday. No fever, no previous indications, just violent, sudden vomiting that didn't stop for 24 hours! Other than Weazy being at the hospital right when her barf-fest started, it was pretty good timing! If I had stayed home and went into labor on my own...EW. What a mess!

So, Evangeline came out and woofed in a big wad of fluid but it got suctioned out quickly, she was perfect (perfectly CHUBBY!) in every way, and now she's sitting in her brother's arms, squeaking and looking slightly orangy.

It was the quickest (5.5 hours), least painful, least stressful, best delivery I've ever had. If this were my first baby, I'd have 6 more HAHAHAHAHA!

Butch is my total hero for keeping things in order around here despite the barf-o-rama. Mom came and really stepped up with the keeping up on wash and trying to make the kids feel better. I really itched to go home right away since I felt SO good. I almost feel like myself only two days later! So, I decided to steal away during the night and came home around 9pm last night. I loved "sleeping" in my own bed. The baby was sleeping a lot and I actually had to wake her for some feedings, just to be sure she can start the milk and get rid of the jaundice before it takes hold. She's a good nurser and is so sweet to look at and play with. She's a charmer. She's being fought over quite a bit today.

I'll post a bunch of pictures of our visitors and Evangeline. The only non-family visitor, besides some of the sistahs, was Meredith who was there for the birth, because she happened to have an appt. at the clinic next door, but had her daughters with her. She went to the waiting room and, I didn't find out until later, kept an eye on Krista's kids until after Evangeline was born! She also ran out and came back later, by herself, for a nice long visit and brought a huge goodie basket of awesome, useful stuff. I can't thank her enough! She included some note cards for thank-yous but I think I'll do some personal emails instead, since my handwriting is so horrible, they'll think they got a card from the doctor's office.

Thank you, EVERYONE, for prayers, for being there, for helping me with the other kids, and for just being friends of our big, crazy family.