laurathecrazymama

The Secret Of Life

2011-12-30T10:10:00.000-06:00

Whew, with a title like that, this aught to be a doozy of a post, right?

Without further ado, I will now tell you "The Secret Of Life"...

Naw, not really. I was just hoping to attract more people to this post and my blog and to re-vamp things a little bit around here. Since the dawn of facebook, it's just way too easy to ignore this blog (I hate it when people talk about their blogs) and just spew whatever and post whatever on facebook and occasionally link to some profound thing here at my blog where the crickets are singing and the wind blows, unobstructed, through the lonely plains of my long forgotten worrrrrrrrds of posts past.

Kids, screwing around while Trina tries out her new backgrounds in her "photo session"

The photographer, trying not to laugh her pants off at how ridiculous it is to have a photo session in the playroom.

The pictures turned out so cute, good thing you can't really see the room and the mess in the finished product!

They get their flexibility from me.

My dumb camera captures Mari's funny face. Trina's shots turned out way better, of course!

"The Secret Of Life" was inspired by the fact that we are not going to find out the sex of this baby in my tummeh. We didn't know what Katrina was going to be but we knew for all the other 6, so this is the first time in a long time that we DON'T know this basic thing about the baby we can't see on a daily basis while s/he is cooking.

I went to the doctor for the first time yesterday and I am 17 weeks along. I had no excuse for waiting so long, other than "I was busy." The doctor bought it. He knows I'm a 'frequent flyer' so he also knows I have healthy pregnancies and that I don't like to come in to the doc office every 4 weeks. I was so worried though, when he couldn't really feel where the edges of my uterus were for the measure tape and suggested we do an ultrasound (another reason I love my doctor: at the very first sign of ANYTHING, he whips you into the ultrasound room!). I think that they forgot about me for a second though and I sat and stressed out, thinking back to how I don't really feel this baby moving yet and how early I've felt my babies in the past. I sat in front of the empty ultrasound screen, imagining the worst. An undeveloped baby, all kinds of deformities, a baby missing limbs (so it couldn't kick), or any other manner of horrors before the doctor and nurse came in. I have to say that I was actually kind of surprised to see a normal, moving, heart-beating BABY right there on the screen! Yup. Everything is fine. It's just that the placenta is right underneath my bellybutton and it makes it that much harder for me to feel any movement right away. WHEW!

So, the "Secret of Life" here could easily be figured out if the doctor just moved the ultrasound probe around a little and checked around (kind of snoopy, isn't it?) but we are content to not find out this secret until June 16thish or whenever I get restless enough to induce labor and have this baby.

Oh, the kids already know he's a boy, anyway. They shouted to my tummy, "Hey, Baby! WHAT ARE YOU?" then they listened, very carefully, and the baby told them that he was a boy. Why waste time and money on an ultrasound scan when you can just ask a sibling? I should add that they have always been right in the past. Hmmmmm.

Trina's new website is here: http://www.photobykatrina.com/ I think there are some pics from that photo session in her gallery, so you can see how a pro does it ;)

Name Your Inspiration

2011-11-01T16:21:00.000-05:00

Butch and I had a small book of baby names for our first baby (we didn't know the sex) so we both took the book, crossed off every name we refused to name our child, or names of old girlfriends/boyfriends, compiled the list of what was left, and waited.

We knew the name would be Alexis Katrina or Katrina Alexis. "Alexis", because I was obsessed with the name "Alex" for a girl since read the book and I saw the made-for-tv-movie "Alex: The Life of a Child" and "Katrina" because I had always loved my bff/sister's name and how much people thought it was so beautiful and exotic sounding and how much attention she got for her name. I figured I'd give MY Katrina every advantage by naming her that feminine, ethnic sounding thing.

I'm pretty sure that, if it had been a boy, we would name the baby "Ryan". We had a nice friend named Ryan and didn't know many other Ryans so it had good connotations with us.

Of course, you know it was a girl and, immediately after her LONG AND DIFFICULT NATURAL DELIVERY (40 hours of labor and about 5 of it really hard labor) I just really wanted to rest. I'd pretty much had it with everyone and everything around me and I just wanted to sit there and get stitched up and cleaned up and not be bleeding or pushing or in pain. They put her on my chest for just a second but they couldn't keep her there because I was still delivering "stuff" and was bleeding a lot. They brought her over to the light bassinet and dealt with her while my mom, Butch and Auntie Nina ogled her and exclaimed stuff about her. They kept trying to get me to look over there at her but I couldn't say what I was feeling because the doctor was stitching me up and pressing on me and making me feel that I was still in labor!!!

I think they thought (for those brief moments) that I wasn't caring about my newborn baby or that she had caused me so much pain that I didn't want to look at her or connect with her but the truth was that I felt as though I already KNEW her and didn't need to SEE her to have that connection. I was just needing to be clean and fresh when I held her and had the time to really look at all the wonderful features of that new little creature and I felt as though it was VERY unselfish of me to share her with the people I loved so that THEY could finally "get" what I had been feeling all those months!

Maybe I'm not saying it very clearly but these were the things I was thinking back then and I remember them like it happened yesterday.

So, my bossy sister finally YELLS at me "Laura! LOOK at her!" and she held her up, angled toward the bed. I looked over and saw her giant eyes and cute little face with perfect dimple on her right cheek. Golly. She WAS cute! (I still just needed to get cleaned up before I wanted to hold her, though.) I finally held her and we all marvelled about every wonderful thing about her and all that mushy stuff you can only know or feel with your firstborn child/grandchild. Blah blah blah mooshy mooshy stuff you-know-all-that...

Back to the name thing...
So my mom keeps saying "What's her name? What's her name going to be? What's her naaaaaame?"
I told her the two names I liked and repeated them to see which combo fit.

They didn't!

I panicked for just a second and I remember looking at the clock across from the bed that I'd been staring at for hours and hours, counting the minutes like they meant the world. Why hadn't I been thinking about NAMES during this time?

All of the sudden, the song "They Call the Wind Mariah" came to me so I said:

"Katrina Mariah"

It was beautiful and rolled off the tongue. My sister was so honored that the baby's name would be Katrina and I knew Butch was leaning toward that for a first name anyway. MY middle name is "Maria" so I thought it was a good combination of my sister's name and my name (that I actually LIKED, I had never really liked the name "Laura". It was a boring and sensible name, I thought).

At the time, Mariah Carey had hit one of the peaks of her fame. I didn't like her or her music at ALL so of course I flinched when Butch or someone said "Oh, Mariah like Mariah Carey?"

AAAAACCKKKK! Noooooooo!

I said, "NO! 'Mariah' as in Paint Your Wagon and They Call The Wind Mariah" which is a really strange story/musical where Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood actually SING...a LOT. It's so stupid but I watched it every time it was on tv on a Sunday afternoon. My dad would laugh at how those two were these serious tough guy actors who sang in this silly musical. It really is slapsticky but I always loved the power and might of that one song with that old west-y theme behind it. My parents had the record album soundtrack for that musical and I would listen to it on my record player all the time (along with David Allen Coe and a bunch of my mom's old 45s she got when she worked at a drug store in the sixties...another story for another day).

There. That's my story about how a song inspired the naming of one of my children...and HERE is a link to my friend Jim's interpretation of this story mixed with other stories about our other children and how Butch and I met.
(You can view the video of the song I'm talking about at the end of his post)

I will be having to figure out another new name for a boy or girl around June 7th, 2012. "Surpriiiiiise!" if you aren't on facebook. :)

Bottle Is Best

2011-09-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

Butch brews beer in the garage. He has a turkey fryer set that he uses for the burner (hooked up to propane) and the aluminium pot for the brew. I'll post that process sometime down the road (it's been done before online...MANY times but it would be fun to show it on video) but today I'm going to post about bottling. We don't have a keg so we just gather bottles from neighbors and friends (NON twist off, brown varieties) and make sure they are rinsed well before we are ready for bottling. We've struggled with fruit flies all summer because the first batch of bottles we had were only semi-rinsed and the flies made their way into the house every time someone opened the garage door. YUCK.

First, Butch soaks (washes) all of the bottles the night before and gets ready to wash all of the materials we'll need for the bottling. This step is necessary BEFORE sanitizing. Next, he sanitizes everything that will touch the beer. I have a picture of the bottle caps soaking in sanitizer and Butch, in the garage with the giant plastic tub we use for washing and sanitizing everything. The green bowl has the priming sugar dissolved in 1 cup of boiled water (cooled) for putting in the bottling bucket before we add the beer.

This brew is our fourth batch and it's called "hophead". It was a little different from the other three that we did in that it required "dry hopping" (sounds dirty, doesn't it?) which just means that, instead of adding all the hops while the beer is cooking, you add SOME of the hops after you move the beer to a secondary container. Our primary container is a five gallon pail with an air lock on the top so bubbles can get out but yuckiness can't get in. We moved it to this glass "carboy" to eliminate some of the hops and sediment on the bottom of the bucket. That stuff is really gross and looks a lot like the contents of a baby's diaper. In this glass carboy, you can see SOME of the sediment remains and ALL of the hops that he added the week before (floating on top). This will be a VERY "hoppy" beer which means it will be so stinkin' bitter that most people wouldn't really be able to drink it. Hops (did you know that beer production uses 98% of the world's hops?) were added to beer to make it bitter (on purpose) because it acts as a preservative (antibiotic properties) since beer was originally made before plastic and sanitizing were invented. Double yuck.

Here is what the top of the beer bottles looks like before it is filled. We put the cleaned bottles in the dishwasher and run it on super hot with no soap to sanitize them as best we can. We try not to open the dishwasher until RIGHT before we are ready to bottle. The key to non-skunkified beer is bottling with care.

Butch attaches the plastic tubing to the siphon and then pumps it a few inches up from the bottom of the gunk in the carboy. We want the clearest beer so we watch the tube for floaters and other goo and try to keep that to a minimum. We are trying to get as much of the clearest stuff into the bottling bucket (five gallon pail with a spigot) as possible. This takes a long time because the tube is so small. Our arms get a little tired.

Now comes the fun part. I take the plastic tubing off of the siphon and put it on to the little stick bottler. It's a neato invention. It's hard plastic with a little rubber stopper on the end. I put the other end of the plastic tubing on to the spigot and then one of the kids (who is the bottle-hander) hands me a bottle. I put the stick into the bottle and press the little stopper on to the bottom. The beer rises right up to the top and the second I lift up on it, the stopper stops the flow. When I remove that little stick, it leaves just enough space in the top of the bottle! The priming sugar feeds the little bit of yeast that is still active (after the beer has been just sitting for a few weeks in the basement in the primary and then secondary) and, if done correctly, will cause carbonation for a nice, bubbly brew. It doesn't really pay to open any of the bottles for another 4 weeks, at least, or you will have very flat beer (which might actually be still pretty tasty...just flat) so the hardest part of all of this is just to have patience. We've had two successful batches and now we have two batches bottled that we haven't tried yet.

Oh, I forgot the most important part! We have two neighbors that brew their own beer so it's really cool to have other people to bounce ideas off of and have experienced tasters around. Here is one of our favorite neighbors who DOESN'T drink beer but who is awful handy. He got snagged into the capping job. He just grabs a bottle cap, places the capper on top and squeezes. This batch was approximately 2 cases (50 bottles or so). It doesn't take long for those bottles to disappear once they are ready to drink...not because we're lushes or anything. We just really like to share!

This has been a really fun and pretty inexpensive hobby that we hope to expand. I want to try wine and maybe a batch of root beer or some other girly kind of brew. I know we'll have some duds and some great successes but it's mostly fun and pretty educational as well.

I wonder if I can write off some of the kits as "educational materials" on our taxes for homeschooling? Probably not, but beer making covers History, Science, Math, Home Ec, Gym (those carboys and five gallon buckets are NOT light!), and all of the new terminology I've learned even make it a little bit about English!

Don't go all crazy now and destroy your livers with all kinds of beer. Brew and drink in moderation. You are a little bit smarter after reading this post and I don't want you to fry up some of those good brain cells!

I always blog responsibly. :0)

Obstacles to Sanity

2011-08-20T02:24:00.000-05:00

There were sure a lot of men in skirts. I'm still not quite clear about the reasoning behind that particular trend.

"You're CRAZY!" is what I heard every time I showed anybody the course of the Warrior Dash. They'd have a perplexed look on their face for a while and I'd say "I just REALLY want to do it!". Yeah, I know, it's not the most descriptive reason to do... a thing.

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There were all kinds of people there, old, fat, fit, very young, smokers, non-smokers, hippies, rockers...this race was pretty much the great equalizer of all races. I thought people were weird at marathons. OH NO, I'm pretty sure the weirdness factor was over 90% at the Warrior Dash in Minnesota on July 23rd and 24th, 2011

The two boa girls were with me for the start of the race. I ran into the green boa girl along the way. She was struggling a little and her friend had left her in the dust. I ran with her for a little bit but I was feeling really good so I didn't linger with her for too long. I feel kind of bad about that.

There were hundreds of people in each wave, one half hour after another, all day long. My wave was at noon. It just so happened that my friend, Nicole's wave was at 12:30 so we drove together and supported each other for the days leading up to and on the day of the race. It was nice to have a friend there to figure it all out and take it all in with me. It was also great to have her experience the whole thing so we could hash it out afterwards. It was very difficult to process, as it's unlike anything I've ever done before. It wasn't a race, it wasn't a run, it was almost like a playground for grown-ups. The mud and the hills defined EVERYTHING about that day!

"At the end of the race, there are water and bananas for you." Um, yeah. Sure. Yum.

I tried to engage a lot of people in conversation, even during the race. Usually, a race is such a deeply personal thing but this was much different. This was almost like a bonding experience. I made sure to try to encourage people who were struggling and sympathize with those who were running alongside me at times. I wanted to take in the beautiful scenery around me (it was in a ski resort in the summer on a beautiful day in Minnesota! What's not to love about that?) instead of focus on the path in front of me, which is what I would usually do for a road race, especially a lousy 5k. This was NO "lousy 5k"!

As we were leaving, throngs of people were just getting there. I would tell them as we passed, "Beware of the hills! They're killer!" I thought that was very helpful of me.

The very first obstacle was just a giant hill. They didn't really tout that as a true obstacle but most people I talked to afterward agreed that the hills were way harder to handle, mentally and physically, than the man-made obstacles.

This picture was of me AFTER I had "washed up". I went to the grocery store like that. I don't think the customers appreciated that very much. I got a lot of very funny looks.

The expression on the faces of each of the people I saw crossing the finish line (before my wave) was very hard to read. I saw them slog through the final obstacle, a giant mud pit covered in a bunch of barbed wire, with dead-pan faces. I couldn't tell if they were enjoying it, just glad it was over, or just too tired to care? Either way, the amount of mud covering each person was daunting. I wondered if I could even finish the race or if I might get hurt. It was kind of nerve-wracking to think that I'd look like THAT by the end of the race. Not that it made any difference at that point. I was already so muddy from the finishers rubbing past me on the grounds before I even ran! I saw the finishers walking toward the end of the grounds where a giant water blaster was shooting water to "wash off" the bulk of the mud. The people were swarming up against a mesh fence in an effort to get just a little bit of the mud off of them. The result was that they were no longer covered in the thick, 20 pounds of goo but that they were still, by any one's standard, VERY dirty!

Me and Weazy on the chairlift

My wave time was announced so I got in line toward the end. I figured that it would be much nicer to pass more people than would pass me and, since I had no actual time goal, I really just wanted to kind of take it all in and enjoy the day.

I gave Weazy and Sara (my only cheering section for the day) tickets to ride the chair lift to see me up on top of the hill (they missed me but enjoyed the ride...I didn't know that they'd have to WALK down the hill! Haha!) and we were off! I knew that I'd be able to handle a light jog for a couple hundred feet but that the first hill would be killer (I had seen it on the way in) so I took it easy. My strategy was to MARCH up the hills, try to jog down them, and at least jog in between all of the obstacles. I did pretty well on all of those goals. I never really "walked" except for up the hills. My legs were pretty much numb from using muscles I didn't even know I had after a while. I did do a lot of the stair climber at home before the race...thank GOD I did! I would have been sore for weeks if I hadn't somewhat trained for all those hills!

Linda, Nicole, and Laura...ALL "crazymama"s!

The walls and things to climb over were many but that part was actually a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. The mud pit at the end was the most surprising. I remember stepping into it and the strange, immediate feeling that this was SO wrong and that I needed to get OUT of that mucky stuff as soon as humanly possible. I remember hearing this giant man yelling at me to "GET DOWN, GET DOWN, YOU DON'T WANT TO SNAG ON THE BARBED WIRE!" and me, in my tired rebelliousness was thinking (really loudly at him) "SHUT UP, YOU FOOL. I'M TIRED AND I'M TRYING TO FINISH WITH THE MOST DIGNITY I CAN MUSTER AND THIS CHICK IN FRONT OF ME IS GOING SO SLOW!"

Unfortunate clinginess of clothing. This is not a very flattering picture, but it's what I looked like, I guess.

In the end, I wasn't content to just finish but I wanted to finish with as much speed as I could and try as hard as I could through the whole thing so I would have a good "control" for the next year's Warrior Dash...which I FULLY intend to enter! I wasn't in it for a good time but rather to HAVE a good time! Maybe next year, I'll actually have a better, faster time than this year and possibly some family members and more friends with me IN the race too!

I was in ‎396th place for our age group (35-39) on the satrun Overall number: 2625 Time:52:09.00 minutes per mile:17:16 I think there were over 800 women in my age group. Funny little tidbit was that Nicole and I ran different waves but she was only three seconds behind me in time and just a few places after me! She was running with another friend and her friend told me that she held Nicole back so I'm sure Nicole (who recently lost a lot of weight and is in way better shape than I am) could've been even faster had she been on her own. I sort of wish I had been with someone who had slightly more ambition than I did so I'd have been pushed just a bit more but I think I did pretty well all on my own.

I can't believe how the mud stuck to me in places I didn't even barely know I had places. I had to take a shower and two baths before I could get that stuff off of me and out of every crevice and crack. The worst was my feet and hands. I think because we have so many wrinkles and crinkles on those things. I had to buy a pedicure kit with a pumice stone and nail brush and some of those scrubby gloves and a bath pouf and take a soaking bath to get the final crud off of me.

I've worn my Warrior Dash T-shirt (the white one you see in the pictures) to a few places since then and I ALWAYS get comments about it. The other day, I was walking out of Goodwill with four kids and these two guys walked in after me then walked out as I was walking out. The one guy looks at me and throws his hands up in the air in an "I am thee champeen" pose and yells "Warrior Dash! Woo!". Then he got into his car and drove away.

I just smiled and kept walking to the car. I understood he was unashamed to do that goofy, public display because we had a bond (along with a few thousand other MN folks). We are all self proclaimed "warriors" in the battle of the mind and body against obstacles we have placed in our own paths. We actually PAID to slog through that mud and climb those nasty hills and jump over those impossible barriers! We came out on the other side fatigued, grubby, slightly cranky, uncomfortable and with goofy grins. We are all very pleased with ourselves and can't wait to do even better next year!

Most people wore old shoes because they knew they'd be all beaten up after the race. I brought some flip flops and dropped my old shoes in the pile along with thousands of others. They are washed up and donated.

Nicole lost her husband to cancer almost 2 years ago and is raising 4 children on her own now. She lost a ton of weight and looks better than she did in high school and is working out nearly every day because she needs to be here for her kids. I know that there are far more challenging things to face in life than a silly race where you get to climb over old cars and have water sprayed at you but the whole thing taught me some great lessons about my fellow man. I realized that each person there had a story and a reason for trying to get through the race course and face VERY public humiliation. I pictured the words of each of their stories on their foreheads, like little signs proclaiming their particular battles to the world "My mom died last year." "I have a bad back and I'm overweight." "I have a drinking problem but I'm getting better." "I'm young and healthy but there's diabetes in the family." "I have 7 children and I've been feeling lumpy lately and need a goal to get off my lazy butt and finally do something about it."

These two fire pits are right at the end of the race. I jumped over it with flair for the girls to take a picture. It didn't turn out but I just saw it on the race photo site and it's quite something. I may have to get a copy, just for myself to look at and laugh and laugh.

Just threw that last one in there, you know, randomly...no specific reason.

Weazy took this one. It perfectly captures how gross the mud pit was.

Since this is my first and probably last post for the month of August, I'll just end it by writing that it's been a very exhausting summer and that I'm looking forward to fall and school and being a little more organized (for at least a few weeks at the beginning of the school year, anyway) and maybe getting back into checking out how my blog friends are doing. I've been really bad about keeping up with my in-person friends, much less spending any great amounts of time on the computer. I think the magic number of kids is seven. It's the tipping point of responsibility. No more long baths, long phone calls, or sit around in your pajama days for this mom! Time to grow up, I guess.

S' Mothering

2011-07-21T13:10:00.000-05:00

I'm standing in the waning sun, wondering at how it can be 90 degrees and actually not that bad.

The medium kids are running around like crazy, trying to get as wet as they can with two kiddie pools and bowls for splashing.

As I hold my (clean) naked chunk of a one year old, I marvel and how she rests on me all heavy and soft like a giant, weighted marshmallow.

I think how it must look to people driving by, me: all frazzled with my hair freaking out from the extreme humidity, skirt all wet from kids wanting to give me "WET HUG!", shirt all wet patches, juice, and chalk hand stains.

Tommy screams with pleasure as Mari chases him around with the hose, entangling my legs and laughing evilly.

I know it's soon time to go in and get these rug rats dressed already but...

She rests her head on my shoulder and says "Ma...ma...ma...maaaaah."

Oblivious of the chaos around her or the fact that she's naked as a jaybird.

Sing song butter baby is too squishy and wonderful for me to move and lose this moment.

April Showers Bring May Showers Etc. Etc. Etc.

2011-05-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

But they also bring new and wonderful changes this year to the Nielsen household! Trina got confirmed in the OLD RITE at the Church of St. Agnes in St. Paul, MN last week! It was sort of a surprise to us that she'd get the opportunity but we got a letter of permission from our parish priest (Thank you, Fr. Richards!) and Trina picked a wonderful sponsor (Thank you, Jodi!) and a handful of our friends and family went to the city with us to witness the HISTORIC (I found out at Mass) occasion.

Apparently, it's been something like 40 years since any one's been confirmed in the old rite in the archdiocese! Trina was SO honored to be a part of it but she was mostly giddy that she'd get the "slap" on the face that she'd read/heard about! She posted more about the feelings she experienced on her blog.

Here is a video of the "girl's side". Trina and Jodi are on the far right. You can hear the men's group chanting in the background. It was beautiful to listen to live! If you drag the dot to around 1min 30 or so, you'll see me pan to the group that was in our pew. Weazy mouths to me "You can't take photographs!" but I was taking video so PPPPTTHHTTT on you, Weazy. Also, if you forward again to around 2 min 30 you'll see Trina get confirmed a little closer because I zoomed. So, I won't win any awards for videography, but it was pretty cool to have it recorded like that, seeing as how it WAS "an historic occasion" and all. :)

It was nice to don the good old veil again. I'd love to veil at my church but I still have the problem where nobody else really does it so would I be drawing attention to myself? It's a touchy subject. I've stressed about it for years. I feel drawn to veil but I don't want to make other people think that I think I'm "oh so pious" or "better than you". Then, I run into the thought "Oh, well, wouldn't it be a sacrifice if you KNEW you'd be drawing attention to yourself and that people would think you're trying to look holier than them?" It's convoluted, I know, but these are the things that run through my head...I let them do that and don't bother too much about anything but this one's got me stumped. I think people must already think I have issues because I like to receive on the tongue. I HAVE started to receive in the hand when it's an extraordinary minister. I figure then that way I don't have to crouch down to receive from a short person or (God please forbid) have the EMHC stick his whole hand in my mouth looking for a place to "land". I SHOULD solve that problem by kneeling or just going to the priest but crying kids don't always allow for that possibility.

Anyway, I'll post again later this week on the birth of my new niece or nephew on Thursday! I'm so excited to find out if it's a boy or a girl and to SEE who s/he looks like!

P.S. I fell asleep while composing this post. Let me know if I have any mistakes. Thanks, editors! ;)

Because He First Loved Me

2011-04-14T23:58:00.003-05:00

My buddy, Ray tagged me in this meme thingy.

I don't usually do the meme thingy since I've been blogging long enough to know that hardly anybody reads through those things...except this one was a nice challenge so I think I'll tackle it...

"5 Reasons I Love Jesus"

Alright, one wouldn't really think it would be that hard to come up with reasons they love Jesus, right? Just go ahead and name your hubs, family, kids, whatever and WHAMO, Meme Accomplished.

Not so fast, for me. I really had to think about it.

Conversation with myself:

Nice Me: I can just write the things I'm thankful for and then...

Evil Me: Yeah, but that's stupid and easy and everyone will just fall asleep...BO-RING.

Nice Me: Well then, I'll just say that one of the reasons is that He gave me everything I have and so...

Evil Me: SNORE

Nice Me: Then what the hell should I say??? What is really going to impress people and change their lives? I have to say something totally profound or people are going to think that I don't love Jesus and that I'm just faking it!!!

Evil Me: Well, are you?

Nice Me: Uh, no. Of course not. I may not LIKE Jesus sometimes but I LOVE him, always!

Evil Me: Oh, REALLY? You DO, huh? Were you loving Him when you yelled at the kids for spilling things again? Were you loving Him when you talked behind that person's back the other day? Were you loving Him when you weren't paying attention in church but were picking at that crusty cookie stuff on your jeans?

Nice Me: Leave me alone. I don't like you anymore.

Evil Me: Were you loving Him when you just told yourself that you didn't like yourself anymore...just now...

Not-So-Nice-Me: Guess not.

Just Me: Here's why I love Jesus: He gives me at least 100 of those "God Moments" every week. I know He is with me and in my heart when I'm trying to talk to my friends. He knows all of my shameful ways and He still fills my heart with joy and proof that He loves me in the form of the kindness I am shown by my family and friends who are filled with His Spirit. He suffered and died for my sins and takes away my suffering every time. He probably had a beard and He died an old guy (hey, 33 was upper-middle-aged back then. PLUS, He's really been "alive" for eternity so that's REALLY OLD!) and you KNOW how much I love old guys!

So, these are just some of the reasons I love Jesus.
That reminded me of that song we used to sing when I went to the Lutheran summer Bible school:
Oh, how I love Jesus.
Oh, how I love Jesus.
Oh, how I love Jesus...
because He first loved meeeeeeeeeee.

Also the snacktime song:
Oooooohhhhhh, the Lord is good to me,
and so I thank the Lord;
for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the apple seed the Lord is Good to meeee, amen amen amen amen amen,aaaaaaahhhhhmen.

Tommynado

2011-03-31T21:13:00.001-05:00

As I was cleaning up the mess from the broken tea plate (while trying to keep the kids from stepping on the scattered shards)...

...I heard a banging on the sidelight by the front door and went to investigate...

..."Tommy! WHAT are you DOING?". "Lookit my dirty hands!" So, I sent him into the bathroom to clean up the non-water-soluble sticky stuff for a half hour or so (he loves the waterplay in the sink. Makes me wonder if that was his plan all along?)...

...I had to find where that mess came from and there it was, in the classroom, on the little plastic kitchen (his favorite place to experiment)...

...also, the stuff had burned two nasty melty holes in the carpet next to the wall..

...I changed Tommy for the fourth time, today, because he had baby cream all over his clothes and that stuff could not be trusted on clothing...but I hadn't gotten to cleaning up the stuff on the carpet or the play kitchen. I went in to rescue the neighbor girl, who was starting to discover the interesting white stuff all over the play kitchen (my freaking out at Tommy had fallen on deaf, toddler ears, I guess...what IS it with the mess magnet deal??? WHY do kids automatically sniff out a mess-making prospect in an entire house of non-messy projects and toys?) I had to change HER out of HER clothes which had been dirtied and wet from outside adventures ANYWAY and now had white stuff all over them. I found some more clean clothes for Tommy and the milk man came. While I was ordering from the milk man, Tommy came around the corner, looking like this:

"Tommy? WHERE did you find CHOCOLATE??? And what is that DUSTY STUFF all over your clean clothes?" I puzzled over what he could have possibly gotten into 32 seconds after I JUST PUT ON CLEAN CLOTHES? Could it have been a piece of chocolate from Weazy's secret stash? Could it be dust from the vacuum cleaner that was parked in the living room from cleaning up the original smashed plate mess? No. After the milk man left, I went through the kitchen to put away some milk and found this:

Ah, so THAT explains THAT.

I gave up around that time. He's been just wearing his underwear ever since. One and a half loads of laundry containing JUST the clothing that they had to change out of because of sticky, icky messes, spills, food all day long was more than I could handle for one day.

A lot of things happened to save the day but this is just ONE typical day of life with Tommy the Terrorist Toddler Tornado.

He's so super!

One Plus One Equals Infinity

2011-03-20T23:15:00.003-05:00

Tonight, Butch and I did something we've never done in the history of our marriage since we've had children.
We went to church together...without the kids.

It all started this morning when I was having a hard time getting everything ready for the day and getting myself ready in time for church.

Then, I remembered: I have a child who can DRIVE NOW!!!

All three of the biggers went together and Butch and I made the plan to go to 6pm Mass. 6pm mass is normally not our very favorite because we're not fond of the contemporary music where the verses last FOREVER and are so repetitive that everyone around us starts looking uncomfortable...BUT, it is MASS and sometimes you just go and try to filter that stuff out.

We sat there feeling just ODD.
Here are the things we did NOT do (that we NORMALLY do, when we have kids with us):

1. Flash the peace sign across the crowded pew.
2. Take any bathroom breaks.
3. Have to move from kneeling to sitting to kneeling to sitting to walking out of church because some child is trying to get us to pick them up during the kneeling part.
4. Miss the entire Gospel and most of the homily because some child needs to be set right or brought potty.
5. Wonder how many people are staring at us and wondering "Are all those kids from those parents?".

and many other things that I thought about during Mass...that I actually kind of missed!

Yes! Surprisingly, while I was very happy to have the time to reflect on how it did feel a little like back when we were in RCIA and we would go alone together all of the time, I saw a little baby girl who was SO cute and it made me think about my little baby girl that was the first little one we brought to church...and THAT made me think of every other baby I brought to church over the years...which brought me right to the present and my little baby girl at home with my biggest baby girl...and I couldn't wait to get home to all of them.

We were walking out of church and I commented on a friend's little girl and how big she was getting. She and her husband noted "How did you get to come here with NO kids!? THAT must feel strange!"

We both laughed and kind of let out our breaths. It was SO weird to sit there the whole time with the elephant in the room being the one that was at home (namely, our missing family). I actually started to wonder if we were being stared at because we normally have so many bodies between us and the people at church maybe thought we were strangers or something! It's all about context, right?

The whole thing made me reflect on something I told a friend last night at a cancer benefit that Butch and I got to go out to last night. I was telling her that I was thinking how, someday, all of our kids will be grown and we might be faced with an empty nest of some sort. I was saying how very odd it would be and what the heck would we do without any children to care for and just each other? I thought about it a little more and then I laughed. YEAH! RIGHT! Duh... because we've increased our potential for MANY grandchildren and there will NEVER be a time when we have an "empty nest"! That's the most ridiculous thing ever! We'll ALWAYS have people in our home. Our doors will always be open to the people that need care. If it's a friend, neighbor, child, grandchild, great-grandchild...as long as we're living, we will have someone who depends on us and who we depend on to help us get through this life.

I'm so very glad to share it with the ONLY man who understands me and loves me as much as he does. I like time alone with him, but I like time with him and the people we love TOGETHER, even more.

Babies Don't Keep

2011-02-21T22:15:00.003-06:00

I took this picture of Evangeline last night. I was reading a story to Tommy in his bed. I had my phone with me and Tommy was playing solitaire on it (to tire him out and entertain him a little before I had to go into my room and plug it in). To my surprise, Butch CALLED me from our bedroom. He said Evangeline had fallen asleep after squirming and playing around on our bed (pretty much her favorite thing to do in life) but that he couldn't move and if I just came in there, I'd find out why...

(Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she was just REALLY tired and hadn't actually passed out from the stink.)

I was cleaning out my game/craft cupboard today. For some reason, this one verse was going through my head all day as I watched the kids mill around, and play, and generally make extra messes because it was too cold and windy to go outside, and it's been that way for days and days...a lot of the time, I find myself turning away from the computer, which gets boring after a while, stopping all frantic cleaning activities, and grabbing some books to read with the kids in the rocking chair...

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow..."

It was a "crosstitch poem" on a plaque at my neighbor's house from when I was a teenager. I pretty much LIVED at that house because they had four little girls that I and my sister babysat a LOT. Someday, I'll talk about the adventures we got up at that house but today, I am just reminded of that plaque. I know the whole thing by heart, even after all these years because I'd read it every time I went over there. I never really understood it until I had children of my own:

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow.
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and
babies don't keep!"

It's the "Quiet down cobwebs" part that always confused me. I never realized that the poet was TELLING the cobwebs and the dust to be quiet and go to sleep...I wondered "what the heck are 'down cobwebs' and how can dust 'go to sleep'?" Heehee!

So, I looked it up and found that no one knows where the poem came from but the best guess is it might have been part of a longer poem that I've found and absolutely LOVE:

Babies Don’t Keep
By Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Lullabye, rockaby, lullabye loo.
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo,
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo,
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

I especially identify with the line:
"And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo"

My Funny Valentines

2011-02-16T22:34:00.006-06:00

I thought it would be special to get some pretty pictures of just the girls for St. Valentine's Day. A friend of mine, Jo Girtz took these at her home studio. She just used the natural light coming through her walk-out sliding door. I thought they turned out so pretty. I got some of all of the girls together, but I have to figure out which one they want posted (and maybe do some edits!), first.

I'll have to get the boys together for an outdoor shot or something. They're WAY to active and impatient to sit pretty like the girls!

Godcousins

2011-01-19T02:25:00.003-06:00

Butch and I were so happy to have Anna and Matt be Evangeline's godparents. Last year, when Anna was newly pregnant with Marek, we celebrated Evangeline's baptism on May 16th (the ONLY one of my children's baptism dates that I remember...only because it was exactly one month after her birth date!). They have blessed us with the honor of being Marek's godparents and we will celebrate his baptism at the end of this month (probably the only OTHER baptism date in the family that I'll remember because it is also one of my brother's birth date!).

I love this picture (taken by Trina when we were unaware she was taking it) of our first visit to their house since Marek was born. They live 2 hours away and we had a hard time getting there with a broken van and so many people that wanted to visit (no one would let anyone ELSE go if they couldn't) but we finally braved the trashy weather and bald tires and gave it a go. We made it there and back alright but it just makes us wish we could live closer and visit again and again and again...sigh.

Cute Messenger

2011-01-12T00:29:00.002-06:00

I'd just like you all to know: I'm done with snow and cold.
So...

...on YOU, Old Man Winter!!!

Soft and Stinky

2010-12-31T20:07:00.001-06:00

I am sitting in the rocking chair in the living room. All is quiet. Everyone has abandoned me except the squirrelly girl in my arms who FINALLY decided to drift off while nursing. I switch her to my shoulder, where she grows limp and snore-y, and shnorkly.

I'm thinking about my sister with her new baby, Marek. I'm imagining holding him and having him fall asleep on my shoulder, limp and soggy, stinky and shnorkly.

Patchy Posting

2010-12-14T02:03:00.006-06:00

I know I haven't been really regular at posting but it's the Holidays and I've got a lot of irons in the fire. Not the least of which is an on-going project to do some work for my local Patch site. If you don't know about Patch, read on:

It's a venture to get local news to individual communities. It was started up some time last year and is spreading all over the U.S.. Check out www.patch.com and then click on your state and maybe your own city to see what's going on in your hometown!

I also happen to know the editor and he asked me to "write something" (very descriptive instructions, I know!) for our Patch. I did, and he published it yesterday!

Here's a link to the story I told about my dad and how he made Christmas time very special for us every year: Click on the word PATCH
I've told the story before, I'm sure. I thought I had told it on here, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Then, I remembered that I had actually told it to our mom's group a few years ago and I remember how I was amazed at the reaction from a lot of the women in the group.

I think that people didn't have such rich traditions as my parents started in us. It made me understand just how important it is to HAVE traditions, even if it's just little ones, such as: "My mom and dad ALWAYS have us say prayers as a family before bed."

Kids form their memories around repetition, don't they? It's so important for them to have "something to hold on to" when their thumb doesn't taste so good anymore and their favorite blanky can't go with them to their office job. The comfort of a good family tradition will make them feel warm and snuggly even out in the cold, dark and lonely world...at least, that's what it has done for me!

So, read that story, curl up with your kids on these cold winter nights, and start some new traditions of your own. It's never too late!

P.S. My 16 year old daughter took that picture of my dad. She's very talented!

Nice Ice For Sale, Ten Cents A Pail

2010-12-12T08:32:00.002-06:00

Analise and Niklaus, making the best of the dome-crushing 2010 blizzard.

Advent Freakout

2010-12-10T14:04:00.002-06:00

I thought about doing "a post a day" in December but Lord only knew it wasn't happening. The transmission went out on the big gray bus, my baby sis had her first baby, I had to do a job for St. Michael Patch (our new local news site...check to see if you have a Patch.com site for your town!), I put Trina in a few classes at the high school, and there are many many many other things still on the schedule until before Christmas.

I can't wait until Lent.

Lent is more of a time waiting than Advent is. Advent seems to be a little more "bustle-y" for our family and it's not a matter of going around freaking out about gifts. It's more of a time of everything-falls-to-crap and we're playing catch up all month.

Maybe it's the same for a lot of other families. I know that things aren't all bad or dramatic (like a new baby or two!) but it feels like I've been on overdrive and it's always one step forward, then WHAMO back about 10 steps. I need to focus more on the 'reason for the Season'. Of course, everyone needs to be reminded of that this time of year, right?

Part of my new project was to visit businesses in the area so I got to see a lot of what was available in my town and I've actually gone back to 6 of the businesses (so far) to purchase something in the past 3 days. I stopped by a computer refurb store and bought a computer so this one doesn't have any pictures loaded up on it yet for that oh-so-exciting picture people always want to see with a new post.

I'll illustrate with words:

I look like an old lady with about 10 new wrinkles, unshaven legs, barely showered body, haircolor that's all worn out, my house is a disaster area, my kids are ignored, my hubs is yelling at me to stop writing on my blog and get back to work, and I gotta gooooooo......

Adios. Until I have a minute to breathe.

P.S. My legs are always unshaven this time of year. I just threw it in for your extra added enjoyment.

Soft and Stinky

2010-12-04T02:37:00.004-06:00

I am sitting in the rocking chair in the living room. All is quiet. Everyone has abandoned me except the squirelly girl in my arms who FINALLY decided to drift off while nursing. I switch her to my shoulder, where she grows limp and snore-y, and shnorkly.

I'm thinking about my sister with her new baby, Marek. I'm imagining holding him and having him fall asleep on my shoulder, limp and soggy, stinky and shnorkly.

Seestairs, Seestairs

2010-11-19T00:04:00.005-06:00

Around this time of year, I like to get into the holiday season by watching the classic "Christmas Movies".

Here's a short list of the Advent MUST SEEs:

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Miracle on 34th Street

Elf

and, of course, White Christmas

To tell you the truth, I only just watched White Christmas for the first time about 15 years ago, right around this time of year. We were living in an apartment in Monticello, and we had these neighbors, who rented a house on the other side of the parking lot. The mom was a few years older than me and was very...different from me. She was about 6 ft tall, chain smoked, was divorced and re-married to a five foot tall Mexican. They had a couple of children together and their names were the first and last name of a famous Mexican guitar player. The man they named their kids after, happened to be a cousin of the dad of the family.

The kids played with little Trina and were very sweet, if not just a little rambunctious. The kids had very little discipline because their dad didn't work and their mom worked all the time. All in all, they were a nice family and they always had time for a visit. One day, the little girl (who was about 7 at the time) asked me if I'd watch a movie with her. She pulled out her FAVORITE tape and the whole family spazzed out when they found out I'd never watched it. The dad, especially, was aghast. "You mean you've nay-ver seen the White Christmas? Aye! It's the BES! OH! (singing in flat, out of tune voice) Seesters, seesters dare wear nehvar sohch deevoted seestairs...?" When I blankly stared at him (I mostly was just so surprised he had suddenly become so animated!), he looked at me with a "HOLY GUACAMOLE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS AWESOME MOVIE BEFORE!" look. Clearly, me never seeing this movie was something he needed to remedy so, I settled down to watch this SOUPAIR movie with the family. After about 10 minutes, the dad was asleep, snoring on the couch.

I thought the movie had REALLY bad acting but the songs were good. When the movie came to the famous "Sisters" song, I finally figured out what the Mexican dad was trying to sing and it took all the couth I could muster to not bust a gut. The dad woke up at the end of the movie, scratched his stomach and offered me a beer. He then asked what I thought of the movie. I politely declined on the beer issue, and told him I liked it very much, thank you. He eyed me, warily, and asked if I wanted to borrow it. Of course, I borrowed it and watched it again. I needed to see what it was about that film that moved this family so much. It's almost like it provoked instant happiness in this family and it was OBVIOUSLY something on which they all agreed.

I still can't figure out what is so great about that movie. The only thing that I like about it is the sisters song. I felt so sorry for Rosemary Clooney because she was such an ugly duckling compared to Vera-Ellen. When I looked up Vera-Ellen on IMDB, I saw this unfortunate paragraph at the end of her bio:

It was discovered that Vera-Ellen silently battled anorexia throughout much of the 50s before doctors had even coined the term or devised treatments. Moreover, she developed severe arthritis following her retirement and was forced to revert to dance lessons again in order to combat it. If that wasn't enough, she had to endure two failed marriages while losing her only daughter, Victoria Ellen Rothschild, to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) in 1963. These tragic events turned her into a virtual recluse. Little was heard for decades until it was learned that she had died of cancer in Los Angeles, California, on August 30, 1981. Less remembered today compared to several of the big stars that shared the stage with her, Vera-Ellen was a lithe and lovely presence who deserved so much more. Nevertheless, she has provided film lovers a lasting legacy and deserves to be called one of Hollywood's true dancing legends.

Whoa. No thanks. Hollywood sucks the life of the soul, doesn't it? By the way, I learned that Rosemary Clooney's son, Miguel Ferrer is the crabby boss guy on Crossing Jordan. Also, he was in Robocop. He's George Clooney's first cousin. Weird.

So, around about this time of year, every year, I watch that movie again, wonder if I'm missing something about how great it really is, wonder what ever happened to that strange family, remember the Mexican dad's rendition of the sisters song, and I giggle.

The Most Frivolous, Stupid Post I've Ever Posted

2010-11-16T16:26:00.004-06:00

Prince William is engaged. I thought when he was very young and when he became a teenager that he was going to be a VERY good looking man and I always thought, "Poor, poor Prince Harry, he's so awkward and funny looking. He'll always be 'second best'."

Recent pictures of the two, however, have altered my original thinking.

Prince William is looking an awful lot like his dad. He's got that funny shaped head, goofy horse teeth, and those sharp features are seeping through.

Prince Harry is turning out to be a very handsome man.

This opinion has been confirmed by my teenage daughter and google searches of images, at all ages, of the two.

Also, Prince Charles might be suffering the effects of all of those years of royal inbreeding. He's pretty much a total nutcase these days.
The End
P.S. I will never talk about this again.

Winner Winner Turkey Dinner

2010-11-10T22:43:00.005-06:00

Well, I know you've been waiting on pins and needles...

Mr. Meehan is the new Mr. Mayor of the big town of Albertville, MN. So, I guess this means I'll be invited to all of the state dinners and hob knob with all the whoozits at social balls and...oh, wait. Yeah, that's right...it's ALBERTVILLE. Heh heh heh. I'll just be content to get the street lamp in front of my house fixed.

Actually, this is a pretty neato town. It was the "enemy" town, when I was growing up...the wrong side of the tracks..."that other town"...the smallest part of the acronym for our school district name...WAY over there, in "Albertville" (even when we said it, it sounded like italics). If anyone had told me (back when I was a teenager) that I'd settle and raise my kids here, I'd have laughed my butt off, shoved them and said "shut UP", and then "I'm SO sure!" (because "whatEVER" hadn't been invented yet, of course.).

While it's true that, in the first couple of years after we built our house here (est. 2002), I was a little embarrassed to even say the name of the town out loud..."You live WHERE?"...after a little while, I didn't really care anymore. I still feel like my heart is 2 miles down the road in the town of my birth, when I say the word "Albertville", what I'm really THINKING is "Right next to St. Michael"...the town in which I grew up...the town of my father, grandfather, and great-grandparents, the only city in Wright County named for the church that established the town...yeah, that place!
Now, the town of St. Michael is so broken up, scattered, new, re-built. I barely recognize it as the town I once roamed around. I used to run through the woods to the other side of town and back, just because I could. We had dozens of short cuts to get to where we needed to go. Now, all of those short cuts are developments and bike paths? That's the way things go, I guess.

Albertville still retains a lot of it's original blankness. One main street. Many bars.

BUT, we now have "The Outlet Mall" which is pretty much world famous (I hear) and super international (according to the promenade announcements in a bunch of different languages as you shop!). Who would'a thunk that an outside Mall could do well in STINKING MINNNESOTA???? That place is HOPPING around Christmas time! HA! These towns around here have never had such nicely, fashionably dressed citizens! We used to have to drive at least 3o miles to get any kind of brand names but now, we can shop during the week (because we live so close and not miles and miles away like the folks in the big city SUCKAHS!) and look juuuuust as cooooool as all of the non-hicksville, USA people out there.

Oh, wait. Yeah, that's right...You can pretty much get all that stuff online now.

Welllllllll, you can still shop at Albertville Premium Outlets for all of your Christmas Shopping Needs. PLEASE, visit the other stores and businesses while you're here, of course. I am heading over to some computer shop (that I didn't even know existed here) on Friday to maybe pick up a cheap rebuilt computer for Dad and Mom so they can read my blog again.

We also shop a lot at DJ's hardware. I LOVE the people who work there. They are all helpful and quirky.

We also shop at the grocery store, liquor stores, fast food places, and bank here. We love the clinic (just up the road), and the schools are really pretty great and have a great reputation (I've heard...they ARE public schools, so take that for what it's worth, comparison-wise). Hmmmm, I started out thinking about the town as just sort of a hole in the wall place with not much going on, but now that I've listed things, I guess it's pretty diverse and has a lot more businesses and amenities than I first had thought.

(totally different subject now...I can do that...it's my blogsothere)

I'm making turkey dinner for Butch when he comes home tomorrow night. The kids really like to make special dinner where we all actually SIT DOWN with Daddy after he's been gone for a while. He's not the mayor, but he's pretty special and deserves a Grand Social Ball with all the trimmings. I think we might even break out the special silver and china. I think we might even drink out of things which are not made of plastic. I think I am going a little goofy from not having him here to talk to and fight with and bug every five seconds just because I can.

I like that guy.

Local Politics

2010-10-13T21:08:00.004-05:00

If you do not live in Albertville, MN and/or do not have friends or family that live here, don't bother to read this post. If you LIKE local politics and/or interviews with really cool people that happen to be my neighbors, then go ahead and read on...

I did an interview with my neighbor, Mark Meehan. He is a candidate for Mayor of our town. I thought it would be nice to get the word out about him, since he is not the incumbent and might not have the recognition he needs to help him become successful in his bid to lead Albertville. In other words, I'm totally biased in this interview. I am voting for Mark and I think he's peachy keen. His wife is humble and sweet, thinks I'm funny, and his two, chubby-faced little boys also help me to see that he is the only really viable option for Mayor of this town. ;)

Even though his wife has been my fb friend for a while now, AND they've ACTUALLY read my blog...they STILL agreed to be interroga...I mean "interviewed" for my blog and for fb. Can you believe it? If, after you get done reading this, you have any questions for Mark or for me, go ahead and leave it in the comments (which I will moderate, as usual), or send me an email at laura7550atyahoodotcom.

My questions and comments are in red bold:

How long have you lived in your home in Albertville and are you/have you ever been involved in any other aspects of our community life in the city?

I moved into my home in May of 2002. I spent the better part of four years after moving to Albertville traveling for my job and living in California consulting to a software division of Visa (credit card) called Inovant. Most of my charity work involves donating money or material donations to private organizations. I have done some mentoring kids from abused and neglected homes while I was in California for a group called “Child Help” (http://www.childhelp.org). It was an extremely rewarding experience. I recently started volunteering with a Minneapolis group called “Loaves and Fishes” that serves dinner to those in need. I also do service work with people involved in drug and alcohol recovery, which keeps me busy many days during the week.

Tell me a little bit about your family and what you do/have done for a living.

I am married to my best friend and the love of my life Missy. We married 5 years ago and we are blessed with two beautiful boys, Max 4 and Jack 3. Missy left her career and started a new one raising our little guys full time. She has the toughest but most rewarding job of the two of us. I work for a Microsoft Consulting company called Magenic Technologies. It was a small startup in 1995 and now has revenue greater than 50 Million dollars a year. I was promoted to head up the internal applications development after getting married. With this promotion I no longer was required to travel. I have consulted to many large corporations while at Magenic (Microsoft, Wells Fargo, Visa, Target, SAP) and many smaller startups. In the past 15 years I have been involved in almost every aspect of the business at Magenic in one capacity or another. Before Magenic I worked as a software developer at a Mankato based company that created sales automation software for GM, Ingersol Rand, Ford and Freight Liner. I have also worked in the medical industry for a small startup that built non-invasive coronary testing equipment.

Are there any points on which you'd like to focus your campaign?

Communication and Cutting Spending

Currently, the only way to get an unbiased view of current city business is by attending city council meetings. I believe representatives on the council should better explain their positions on the issues that they will likely be bringing to a vote. I propose that, in addition to providing the meeting minutes, the mayor and each member of the council should comment on the issues presented. They should then make this commentary available on the city website for the residents to access. I also think the city should look at sending a monthly newsletter via email and give the option for a paper version for those that do not have electronic access. At all levels of government, spending has gotten out of control. I have identified some issues below that I feel need careful examination before we move forward.

-The city is running lean, but the administrator has plans to spend more money. The administrator wants to upgrade the city hall Internet access. The current wireless access points should be sufficient to do city business yet the administrator wants the city hall, fire hall, and ice arena to be connected to the fiber optic (high-speed) network that passes through the city. This will involve expensive fiber optic equipment and administration to complete.

-There should be an upgrade of the software to manage the city website. The city administrator has identified a software package that he says is used by cities to manage their websites. There are a number of cheaper alternatives that will give the same results. I have volunteered my 30+ years of expertise to help with the city IT infrastructure. (Mark has already offered this service but it was refused.)

-The I-94 Project has cost the city to date almost 2M according to the information the city administrator has provided me. The estimated amount to complete this project will be an additional 2+ million. The bonding required to start the project will cost an additional $60 per year per household (based on a 250K house) for 20 years (based on the city administrators own numbers). This project began when our economy was booming. The traffic numbers used where gathered during this period of an expanding economy. Will the economy improve? I think it will. Will it be what we had in the last few years? Not for a long time. The housing bubble was an anomaly. We have never seen such a boom in housing like we did throughout the country like we did a few years ago. We need to be responsible with our spending because we do not know when or how well the economy will improve.

-If we move forward now with this spending, will we be able to increase taxes in the future for critical issues. What other areas will we need funding? Will our schools need more funding? I spoke with the superintendent of the schools about the current and future funding of the school district. The school district has been deficit spending. They have cut operating costs by eliminating jobs and consolidating responsibly. The State of MN is cutting K-12 education because of lack of funds. A majority of the General fund comes from Income Taxes. The state is required by law to provide over $15 Billion of the general fund or about 50% to k-12 education. Our school district is one of the lowest funded districts in the state. I fear that in the near future our schools will come back for more funding from the residents of Albertville. We need to show them a good example of fiscal responsibility by looking for ways to cut spending. The Albertville Malls are not part of the STMA school district, the taxes they pay go towards the Elk River school district. The I-94 interchange project will benefit the Albertville Malls, but taxes paid by the malls do not benefit the STMA Schools. We all need to be fiscally responsible from the Federal government on down. I can have an impact on this at the city level if elected as Mayor.

What should be the key mission of a mayor of any town in the U.S.A., in your opinion?

Any Mayor of any town in the USA should represent and act in the best interest of the citizens of their city. I believe this involves communicating the issues the city faces with honesty and without bias. Listening to the feedback, looking for direction, and moving forward in a way that benefits the majority of the city should be the mission and focus of every Mayor.

I don't like phony/trick/nebulous questions like: "What qualities of your personality would you bring to the city council...blah blah blah", so I'll try to keep to the specifics...Do you have any criticisms about the current administration here in Albertville? If so, what would you do differently?

I have philosophical differences with the current administration.

The city administrator appears at times to run the city unchecked by some in the council including the current mayor. On some big issues (like the million dollar pond) the city communicates only after the decisions are made and when it is too late for the residents to offer their views. The I-94 project benefits the Albertville Malls and the housing development north of 94 (where the administrator happens to live). If the citizens of Albertville want the I-94 extension, the county and the state should fund the bulk of this project NOT the city.

Since I and many of my friends are fairly conservative, I'm not going to beat around the bush or pretend I'm something I'm not just to get elected...would you say the same?

Yes, I agree completely. It’s not worth it to lie to get anything. It’s much easier to live and tell the truth. It’s human nature to lie, but never an excuse. The ends don’t justify the means.

Maybe it's not PC to admit where you are on the whole political loyalty spectrum, but will you say if you lean conservative or liberal?

Conservative

So, there you have it! A really nice guy with a great attitude. He's even got the cheesy, Mayor grin to go with the potential position:

(I totally did not have permission to post that picture on my blog. If Mark objects, I'll take it down, but I'm pretty sure he'll get hundreds of votes from this post so I don't think he'll mind. He is not usually dressed like that, by the way. At least you can see that he cleans up real nice. He looks really mayor-ish in the picture, doesn't he?)

VOTE FOR MARK!

MEEHAN FOR MAYOR OF ALBERTVILLE!

(Can you tell that I'm getting a little bit excited for the upcoming election?...are YOU?)

New Stuff Never Gets Old

2010-10-01T01:07:00.003-05:00

I can't believe I've known this child for 5 months and had no idea that she had this...this...this THING inside her mouth that entire time!

Oh, it doesn't look so...well...so obnoxious at this angle, but just you wait...

And THIS is only half-mast!

Here it is. Yes, it DOES look like those Tom & Jerry cartoon shots where Tom's tongue comes out of his mouth and Jerry walks up it like its a set of stairs. This thing is so weird, I just HAD to capture it in all of its glory and present it to you for your careful observance. Do you think she might be some kind of alien, switched at birth when I was taking a bath in the hospital? She looks otherwise normal, but I have my suspicions.

(We were both laughing so dang hard, it was almost impossible to take these pictures! It's this weird new trick she's been doing and there's no rhyme nor reason to why she does it...I think she just LIKES to do it, so she does!)

Momento Mori

2010-09-28T01:24:00.005-05:00

*"Funny when you're dead, how people start listenin'..."

Sure like them there lyrics, yup I do.

Allrighty, so here's what's going on in my head this week:

What are my final wishes?

I've already expressed, to many people, some of these desires for my unfortunate demise but I figured I'd keep a place for all of them, right here on my blog, for all to see eternally, forever and ever, amen.

1. Everyone must wear black at my funeral. No clown colors.

2. I want a black cover for my coffin, no white. This isn't China and dead doesn't mean white...it means black. Dead, dead, deeeeeeeduh. Death=black.

3. I don't particularly like cut flowers so, if you MUST, bring something my kids can plant in the yard and that won't depress them so make it something pretty that you can't kill...like my favorite, LILACS!

4. I won't be a ghost and I won't come back to send you any messages, or leave you pennies, or make you feel like I'm watching you when you're picking your nose, or read my caringbridge page (if someone made one for me), or read facebook, or even this blog, or whatever so get over it already. I will either be A: in Heaven and won't want to leave but I'll put in a good word for you...or B: in purgatory where there is not escape so pray for me instead of look for me in the corner of that picture where you thought you saw a Laura shaped shadow...or C: in that other place (I don't THINK I'll be there, but one just really never knows and I'm pretty sure you can't leave once you get there, anyway so the issue of whether I'd be around to bug you if I went there is probably moot.).

5. If there HAS to be music at my funeral, please make it Latin chant? Just, just PLEASE don't torture me with the "Yoo Hoo" song at one more stinkin' funeral? You KNOW which song I mean: "YOO HOO dwell in the shelter of the night..." and YES, I do realize that I probably won't be there to punish you with a major haunting if you play that yoohoo song, but you don't know that FOR SURE, so, just to be safe. NO YOO HOO SONG!!!

6. Closed coffin. I don't want people's last sight of me to be in fake makeup and for people to see my chewed up fingernails wrapped lovingly around some rosary that should be left to my kids. Nope, I don't want to be dressed at all and I would PREFER to be cremated but there's no guarantee that every little dust bunny would be buried in sacred ground so bury me in a cheap coffin, no frills, not fluffy satin blankies, no artifacts, no jewelry (I'm not a time capsule, for pete's sake!) and no clothes. I want the worms to do their darndest RIGHT AWAY. No mouldering for years and years. Blech.

7. No leaving trinkets and notes at my graveside. I can't read them. I'm DEAD. I can't touch or enjoy anything left where my stone is placed, so offer it to some living person. I don't even need flowers brought there. Just visit the site to make sure nobody's desecrating it, say "howdy, Laura" and give me a quick wave (if you must) and a prayer. That should do the trick.

8. You may briefly sob and carry on at my funeral. You can go ahead and make a giant posterboard of pictures of me but only if they are at least 80 percent of me making faces or dressed in a funny costume. I want people to remember me as a person who made them laugh, not as some forgettable whiner who wasn't very good at math and who was quite selfish and boring when you really think about it. Also, most of the pictures should be of my kids because they got all of my good features and that's how I'd like to be remembered.

9. I want pall bearers to ACTUALLY CARRY out my sorry carcass. No "honorary" wimps, only real life giant men get to carry my coffin. If you followed rule number 6, it shouldn't be a problem. Yep, that's me! "Light as a feather, stiff as a board!"

(I reserve the right to change my mind and add to this list. I don't expect to keel over anytime soon, I've just been thinking a lot about death since my 38th birthday is coming up. Forty is one foot in it and I've been feeling my mortality lately.)

Identity

2010-09-08T23:59:00.003-05:00

I have been emailing a good friend. I used to babysit for her, back when I was a teenager. Her son has babies and I see him and his family in church. He knows who I am (sort of, I did babysit him when he was in diapers) but my friend recently informed me that her daughter-in-law said they saw me in church and referred to me as "that red-haired lady".

Wow.

I'm a "THAT"??!!! I am some old, busybody, red-haired, stalker, crazy woman who smiles too much at babies, asks too many nosey questions, and pays too much attention to them in the back of church? That's worse than that skinny usher lady with the bossy demeanor, or that goofy looking usher guy who says the responses too loud, that guy who wears overalls to church, or running/stomping/screaming kid who continues running/stomping/screaming even when they bring her OUT of the sanctuary!!! Come ON! Seriously? Oh, man.

I'm going to introduce myself to them the next time and remind them my name is Laura and maybe invite her over for a visit with her kids.

I just can't be a "that lady".

Oh, and to be fair, guy-who-wears-overalls wears his NICE overalls to church.

That One Kid

2010-08-27T08:50:00.006-05:00

I just enrolled Matthew in public middle school part time. It will be his first time in a public school setting. He'll have to check into the office and out again. He'll also try the school lunch. He was only going to take Spanish, Industrial Tech, and Gym during that third period (rotating days) but the counsellor told me that it wasn't next to lunch (the only "class" he was REALLY interested in haha) so I signed him up for science and math too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'll show him! I told him it's not it's all cracked up to be, but he's a boy and might actually enjoy it...lunch, that is.

He and Wade were in the backseat the other day, talking about how he'll act at school, since he's the only one in that school who will have that weird schedule. I told him that he could invent an identity for every class. We came up with cool states he could possibly have come from or some kind of secret spy identity. I told them both about what the witness protection plan is all about and how he could say that "Matthew N." is just his cover name and his real name has to be kept a secret or some nefarious group would find him. I told him he could really achieve the status of "The Most Interesting Man in 8th Grade", if he played his cards right.

No matter what his secret identity story, or how shy he decides to act, I know he'll make a lot of new friends and the teachers will really enjoy teaching him. I've already got the office staff excited about a new student. I think that they are jazzed about proving to a home educated child that public school is not bad and can be a good thing (we already know that, but I'm okay with the teachers/staff going that extra mile to try to prove it heh heh heh!).

Matthew just turned 13 and though I've been trying not to highlight the older kids, out of respect for their privacy, I have to say how proud I am of the man he's becoming. He just finished firearm safety training and I watched to see how he responds to someone else teaching him. He sat at attention, took notes, followed along, all with a cool expression...as if he's been public schooled his whole life. He didn't offer any know-it-all answers (even though he DID know everything they were talking about), but I know he's taking it all in and he even studied when he came home.

I know that doesn't sound like any big deal, but since he mostly hangs around public schoolers, he's under the impression lately that he's a freakazoid because he homeschools and that homeschoolers are anti-social weirdos who regularly wear capes and pretend to joust well into their twenties.

I set him straight and show him how he knows all kinds of different weirdos from all walks of life, but then he points out to me how I'm married because I went to public school.

?

So, since I won't let him go ALL day and get institutionalized and zombiefied by "The Man", and since he wishes to experience life outside this pukey, poopy, chaotic, baby crying, "I can't concentrate when people make NOISE!", no I didn't yes you did no I didn't yes you did infinity...household, we compromised with this modified schedule for the school day. I think it's just perfect! Wouldn't you just LOVE to go to school at 10am and then head home after lunch around 1:30ish?

I don't usually like to predict what my children's vocations will be, but I can see that kid in the military. He is obedient, hard working, dedicated, strong, smart, handsome, and makes friends very easily.

He's also a total goofball with a smart-a sense of humor.
I think he was switched at birth with some other baby because no one else in this house is like THAT.

By the way, doesn't it bug you that NO spell checks recognize the word "homeschool"??? That's always kind of bothered me.

Something Different For A Change Of Pace Myself And I Have A Dream A Little Dream

2010-08-21T00:23:00.005-05:00

There once was a man from Siam
Who ate lots of beans and Spam
Al Gore came to scold
the neighbor, he told
He forgot to recycle the can

I only re-wrote it twice. Oh yeah, I'm just that good.

Here's another one, just off the cuff:

(Jennie's twins: A Haiku)

Plural pals, sleep now
Mama waits to snuggle you
two more cute Herbst-es

But, what I started with was this:

Jennie hears two hearts
"I'll be as big as a HOUSE!"
Little stinkers laugh

I need to slow down and just get things done around here. I was hoping this weekend would be my "get the school stuff organized" weekend, but the humidity is up and the A/C is DOWN. Yikes.

Okay, going down the wrong path now so it's time to screw around again:

Doris the cat went to jail
for getting caught out in the hail
"I didn't expect
that I'd get so wet
and now, I'm hairless and pale."

Got hail-pelted cats on my mind, I guess.
Oh, here's another one for Mike:

Beer: A Haiku

(I love the title, it's so contradictory in that it's so earthy and sophisticated, all at the same time, don't you think?)

It's called a "Beer Club"
A whole bunch of microbrews
One giant headache

Of course, how could I not end this fabulous post-etry without a tribute to my beloved:

Butch was a husband I had
the kids and I called for him, "DAD?"
We looked and we looked,
could not find where he booked...
he was in the garage being bad.

Okay, that one was kind of for Mike, too.

Crush

2010-08-18T00:42:00.002-05:00

I've got so much to be thankful for. I could list it all but I'm sure it would be a boring thing and too long of a list to read. I have the list in my heart, and that's good enough.

I also have much to regret and be embarrassed about. I've made so many mistakes this year, it's crushing me and my family under a mountain of worry and all of these "running away" feelings are just my coping mechanisms taking over and it's not good.

When the people around me lose hope, I usually fight back with tons of optimism and fixits galore, but I'm getting very tired and not really finding those reserves that I need to help prop everyone up. I HATE. I have a lot of anger and hate in my heart for the things around me that seem to be pulling me down into that sin of hopelessness and useless regret.

Debbiedowner is back again, full force. As much as I love the season of fall, it always happens this time of year. I think I kind of know why. It's because it's the time of year that I feel most accountable to "the Man". School starts, activities for the kids rev up, we have to be certain places at certain times, winter is coming and so are the bills that come with colder weather, the holidays, and school books, kids are not used to the "buckling down" and get more anxious and their fighting starts to make me feel like a failure. I can't keep up.

I really can't keep up. I've been fooling myself for 2 years that things FOR SURE have to get better and that the economy will turn around soon and that there will be more work for Butch and I can make "extra" by doing something at home...it's all a total farce. Work is NOT coming for Butch and, in reality, his income will have been cut nearly in half by the end of the year (with the bits and pieces taken off in such a slow, menacing way, it was hard to see at the time:lay offs, injury, half days here and there, etc.). The sick irony of it is that his job was always "recession proof" in the past. Every time he'd come home and say "Things are going to slow down! They hinted at it in the office!", I'd just laugh and say "Yeah, right!" because it never did...BEFORE. Now that it's a reality, it has me stumped. How do we move forward when we can't even pay for the here and now? How do people live like this?

We've always been stretched, and suffered hard times early in our lives together...but this is just...so bad. We have each other and we have a great family, but everyone in it is suffering similar worries. What happens when we can no longer lean on each other for support, for fear of pushing the other person over the edge?

It's going to be a tough rest of the year. We are going to have to make some hefty decisions and I really don't know what to do. I hate being a slave to debt and insecurity.

There are a lot of "I"s in this stressed out rant. Depression is a very selfish thing.

Hopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehopehope has to be the mantra/prayer. I just can't find it right now.

Ahhhhhoooooooommmmmmm

2010-08-10T21:48:00.005-05:00

We were just wrapping up the day and Trina and Matty were working on new voicemail greetings on their phones. It was a pretty noisy environment (when is it NOT???) but I heard Mari repeating, in her teeny voice, an odd sound.

She often does repeating sounds or sings little songs to just herself. It's usually very funny but this one took the cake.

The kids have been watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox all week (which reminds me, I gotta bring that thing back to the video store). It's a VERY weird movie but in one part, the cool cousin that comes to live with Mr. Fox tries to calm himself with some Yoga that he presumably learned in his somewhat Bohemian upbringing. It's a way that the author illustrates how kind of naturally cool he is.

I saw Mari, earlier, playing with this mat thing that has bamboo across it. I think Anna used it to decorate in her dorm and the girls inherited it. I thought I had thrown them away but good thing I didn't because then, Mari wouldn't have been able to turn it into the PERFECT "yoga mat". I grabbed the camera before she had a chance to realize what I was doing:

Then I tried to get a better picture by using the flash and she did this:

...and told me "Mom! That noise is ruining 'my thing'!"

Yoga girl with pizza face should know she will NEVER achieve total peace and tranquility as long as she lives in THIS family. I think that she will still try, though. She's a very persistent little mouse.

Counting My Curses

2010-08-06T10:37:00.003-05:00

Did you ever just feel like a dang dog some days? Not a nice, fluffy, pampered richie dog but a street dog with matted hair and a mangy attitude? "Poor Me" has been my attitude for most of this summer. Every day I try to stick to the schedule and live and appreciate the moment but, all along, the underlying worries fill the back of my mind and come creeping out at night. I don't get any sleep most nights.

Just when I think we can maybe see the light of day, some family thing blows up or Butch's elbow blows up (which was the case last week...he's better now but the damage is done with one whole week of no income) and I'm ready to slink into the gutter or snatch up the whole family and move to some Amish community in Canada and hide out for the rest of our lives.

Of course, if we lived incognito and separated ourselves from society, I couldn't share things like this with you:

And we would lose contact with the friends, family, and really awesome neighbors and I don't think I can survive without them.

I'm really tired of trying to arrange the days to keep everyone happy and healthy. I'm tired of not being able to keep up with the repairs, messes, and maintenance that this life requires. I hate living in "bare minimum" mode and I feel like I'm failing to make this house a home. Having a new baby is always stressful (and joyful, don't get me wrong!) but it's particularly stressful in the summer months when the older kids really want to go and DO things but I really need them to help out around the house and I have trouble finding friends for them to hang out with that aren't already occupied with their own family fun.

Now, I have to get into "school mode" and that is terrifying to me, as I don't know how I'm going to pay just bills, much less a whole bunch of school materials costs.

I know, it's a huge debbiedowner (whonk whonk whonk whooooooonk) post, but I DID put the blissfully unaware, happy baby video in there, right?
Don't worry, I know how much WORSE things can be. I know of a lot of sick/dying people and of miserable problems that so many people around me are suffering. It sure doesn't make me feel any better. It really just makes me feel a lot worse about the state of humanity and the point of all of this.

Maybe I'll feel better by the next post...but probably not.

Last Minute

2010-07-19T13:28:00.003-05:00

I don't have enough minutes in the day, just like you, probably. I have a LITTLE bit of time when the baby takes a nap. When she does her nice, long, power nap, I usually take the time to tweak the house and do all the stuff that I can't do with one arm. I know I can rely on a bigger kid to hold her and play with her for a few minutes, but I find I spend most of my day holding and feeding the baby (not complaining, it's actually quite nice!) and that doesn't leave a lot of time for deep cleaning/intense cooking.

My pal, Rebecca, is having a recipe sharing dealio. It came just in time, as I'm making a meal for a new baby's family tomorrow night. I have a network of people at church who always inform us when someone has a new baby and we try to lighten the load of the family by bringing over a meal, over two weeks, several days of the week. I'm also going to take this time to really thank all the nice people from church, my friends, neighbors, and family who helped us right after we had Evangeline. They came to visit, brought nice outfits and gifts, and also brought MEALS! It was so so so helpful and appreciated. I recommend bringing a meal to a family of a new baby. Even if the mom is up and running soon after the baby is born. I had already re-started my running as early as two weeks after Lina was born, but that doesn't mean that I had a bunch of free time and energy. It just meant that I knew I had to go for a quick walk or jog to start to get back into shape to help this family stay moving. Having someone bring over a meal after a long, hectic day showed the older kids how important it is to foster friendship and fellowship. It also shows them how people are mostly kind and want to help when you are in need. You are not alone in the world when you have such wonderful people surrounding you and praying for you. I made meals for some moms in the past and brought my older kids with me so they could see how to help someone that you might not even know and how to stretch yourself, even if it's just a little bit, to reach out to people in need.

You never know when you are going to be the person in need, right? Well, I didn't do it to get it all to come back to me, but it DID come back to us...times 100!

Here's a link to the post about recipe sharing and the recipe I'd like to contribute is: BEEFY BEANS

I know, it sounds disgusting and it probably is...but it takes ingredients you already have around the house and it keeps the kids quiet (except the ones who object to beans, maybe).

2 lbs of Hamburger
1 big can of brown beans
2 Tbls brown sugar
1 giant squirt of ketchup

Brown the hamburger and then add everything else. My kids eat it in a bowl, kind of like "chili" but way sweeter and way more gross. If I'm feeling really fancy, I'll make some broccoli and some rolls. Everyone here likes it even though it's probably super sweet with all of that high fructose corn syrup and sugar. I'm sure you could sub with non-hfcs ingredients and the kids would never know. For some reason, they love this junk.

Baby Bling

2010-07-12T20:47:00.003-05:00

Innocent, naturally stunningly beautiful babies do NOT need it...but every girl likes a little extra embellishment now and then!

Not ANOTHER Baby Picture!!!!???

2010-07-08T10:06:00.003-05:00

OH YES, it is. Evangeline fell asleep on the porch swing. Trina had been reading on the swing just a few minutes earlier and it was such a cute scene, I snapped it:

We've been busy this summer! Babysitting, baseball, family camp weekend, splashing in the little pools in the front yard, 4th of July celebration prep and party, and Weazy's birthday this week have all taken up all of our time. Most of that is over (except the babysitting!) so I WAS going to take the time to do some posting but the stuff hit the fan in the middle of the night last night and we've been infected by the bubonic plague or something and everyone is sick. Butch has been out of town so I'm on my own for this one. I need a nap but I have a whole bunch of little kids who want to go outside now. Buh-bye.

Marierola

2010-06-08T23:11:00.004-05:00

I have to get Tommy on video saying Mariela's name. It's really worth hearing and hard to write out to perfectly describe how it sounds.

My friend, Michelle is SUCH a great photographer that she even got Mari to pose for a bunch of pictures while I was upstairs getting the baby to sleep for the sleepy shots. I'm interrupting my baby pics to show you some of these 5th baby pics. I just love how she batted her eyes for Michelle and vamped all over the place. I blame the sudden change from camera doubtful to camera ready on the show "Toddlers & Tiaras" which I watch with much disgust yet can't look away. Mari's seen it with us and she just loves the sparkly dresses and practices her stage walk in the living room. NO, she will NOT be one of those insane freaks but she DOES say that she wants to be a "makeup girl" when she grows up.

First, here's Mari in a typical family shot where she's required to smile (Evangeline's baptism day May 16th 2010, edited by Trina):

And here's what she can do when Michelle says, "Hey, Mari? Why don't you sit there and I'll take a picture of you?":

One Month Old Evangeline

2010-06-06T15:56:00.004-05:00

I'm going to call Michelle to do some special Fall pictures of our family and maybe get some nice pictures of Trina for her sweet 16 birthday this Fall. She took these amazingly juicy pictures of Evangeline a couple of weeks ago. I just wanted to capture EVERY little beautiful thing that I saw in her, since I never know if the baby in my arms will be the last baby born of this jiggly belly. Michelle really knows how to "grab" those incidental shots when most people would be busy fixing the camera or changing the lighting and all that other stuff that doesn't matter much. That's how she managed to get a shot like this:

In that half-second, gassy moment, she spied the smile and snatched it!

I normally don't like over edited pictures but this one is just breathtaking. She looks like a china doll:

I didn't know when Michelle would snap a picture so I just pretended that she wasn't taking any at all and then she took this shot as I was trying to position sleeping Evangeline. E fell asleep so easily, upstairs in Michelle's daughter's room, in the rocker while nursing, so we were able to get the sleeping and awake shots even though Michelle likes to get the infant/newbie shots when they are 10 days or less. I'm so glad she agreed to do it and took a chance on E!

I also don't normally like a lot of gaudy props but I trusted Michelle and we got many great shots like these (I brought some cute outfits but I'm SUPER happy we didn't get a chance to change baby into any of them because 1. It would have made her cranky, she loves so much to be nekkid and 2. she looks extra cute nekkid) :

Trina and Mari were there with me to help and play with Michelle's youngest. I'm so glad they were with me because we used Trina for a hand model since my hands are stumpy and U.G.L.Y. and hers are perfectly proportioned and pretty. She didn't come prepared for pictures but Michelle took this one, sorta sneaky-like and it turned out very sweet:

Notice the difference between long, graceful Trina fingers and short, squatty, man-hand, chewy-nailed mama fingers?

More pictures and comments to come...be sure to visit Michelle's site! I link to it up there on my sidebar (you can't miss it! Thanks, Regina!)...

Promise...Just ONE More Thing...(UPDATE*)

2010-06-03T18:47:00.005-05:00

*THERE! It's perfect now! I guess in between her breaks for tea and scones and all manner of decadent treats, she's managed to wave her magic wand and alakazam my blog to beautifulness! Thanks, Regina!

...Before I post those pictures, could you email me with a screen capture of what you see when you go to my blog? Here's what I see on my screen:

Regina is helping me and made this supercool new header (using a picture that my other supercool friend, Michelle took, along with all of the other pics of the baby that I'll be posting soon) and background in her tons of spare time. Gosh, I wish I had that kind of life with the bon bons and massages...anyway, she sent me a pic of what it looks like to her and the words are perfectly in between those two light blue lines on the sides. I'm just wondering what it looks like to everyone else.

Meanwhile...just to give you some eye candy to chew on (since we can't all be gorging ourselves with bon bons, toffee, and truffles like SOME people)...

Mmmhmmmm, I KNOW! Super yummy, right?

Hang On!

2010-05-25T13:28:00.002-05:00

I've got a billion things to do today (apx. 1.3 million more than USUAL) and a headache, to boot...(here's one more just to tease you)

Sneaky Peek...

2010-05-21T18:29:00.003-05:00

More jaw-droppingly stunning photos to come soon. For now, here's just a taste (don't want to make you faint from too much cuteness all at once!)...

Shhhhhhh

2010-05-18T08:45:00.003-05:00

Elizabeth McKeighen is my friend and her job as a librarian is being threatened because she dared to stop a 10 year old from viewing porn on the library computer. This is a travesty and makes zero sense to me.

Please read this article and offer Elizabeth your support.

HERE

Heebies

2010-05-14T19:50:00.006-05:00

Personal prelatures have always creeped me out just a little (especially unofficial ones like RC). They just seem like cultish offshoots of an already wonderful faith that doesn't need the extra embellishment. I know that a lot of people are happy with their decisions to go that route, though and if it helps to bring someone closer to God, on a personal level then hey, cool beans.

I may someday change my mind about that (when the kids are all grown and I need a little spiritual enhancement?) but I would NEVER N E V E R send my son off to a boarding school/pre-seminary place. I wish I could say that "I totally understand that that couple prayed and they totally trust the people who are in charge at that place and it's totally safe...etc. etc." but there's NO WAY nuh uh, never, nope, no-way-jose that any young, unformed boy should be let loose in the wilderness of sin and degradation like that. Nope. I draw the line there and I DO make judgements of parents who think it's hunkydory to send their (let's say) 11 year old son to live with a bunch of stranger boys and men in a community with NO MOTHERS???? Sure, it may be that there are 99 percent wonderful humans there with only the most chaste of intentions toward mentoring the young boys to the priesthood...it's that teeny little germ of ickiness and sin that snuck in on the ONE percent person(s) that spoils the whole lot and spreads the sin like a nasty disease that lasts for generations. Sheesh, the whole purpose of my raising the children is to model to them what a loving, TWO PARENT household is so they can discern what is their vocation for life. They can choose whatever they wish (with careful guidance)when they are ADULTS.

Boys can hide for a LONG TIME when they've been abused in some way and then WILL go on to abuse. It's a fact. Even if it's just witnessing something a little bit bad...NO JUST NO.

I'm sorry that I don't have a more trusting heart. I know that there are a lot of false accusations toward men in the Church and that there are FAR more instances of abuse toward young boys in secular life or other churches than there are in the Catholic Church, but there is NO WAY that it is safe to EVER put young boys and men together in a group, safely. Not with the society we live in and the unfortunate sins of people in the past.

That being said, I've not commented on the whole LC thing because I know a lot of people directly involved with RC (I was asked to join years ago and always had an "ew" feeling about the situation) but I read this article today and it pretty well sums up how I feel.

From the article (and part of why joining RC always felt forced, cultish, and creepy to me):
"...2. At the beginning of his work, the delegate ought to consider informing the members of the Legionaries of Christ and Regnum Christi that, as they gave themselves to these institutions without knowing the pathologies of their founder, they are free to leave these institutions without sin, guilt, shame, or remorse.

Such a statement is essential to stop the moral blackmail that (according to credible reports from the families of Legionary seminarians and students in Regnum Christi schools) continues today: “Since you came to us it is clearly God’s will for you to be here, and you will be turning your back on God’s will and sinning if you leave . . .”"

Anyway, none of this will make sense to you if you don't know or care about RC. Full disclosure: I was in the RC backed FAMILIA program for the four years. It was really nice and I had no problems with it other than it was kind of boring and repetitive. It was also a little misleading in that I didn't even know it was an offshoot of RC until a few years into it. That was super odd and just the beginning of why I think personal prelatures are cultish and weird.

Don't Luke At Me

2010-05-10T13:11:00.006-05:00

No, luke at me, don't luke at me, I'm a stah, don't you knoh who I ahm?

Last year, I was nominated for the Crescat Blog Awards under the category "Most Bat Shit Crazy Blog". I did not win. (was it because of the profanity? Were my friends and family offended by the "S" word? C'mon, even if you never SAY it, you know you THINK it. Probably a LOT.) I think I should have been happy I didn't win? I sort of pride myself on my quirky thoughts and weirdness so I have to admit I was more than just a little disappointed. Especially since I changed my layout just before I even knew I was nominated for that thing and look at all the creepy bats flittering around (yeah, they're still there!). I mean, how perfect? I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDAHHHH!

Oh well, now I've been nominated in a different category. I don't think I'll solicit votes this time. I want it all to be fair and square. (scroll down to the last category called: Blog That Needs to be Updated More Often) I want to win on my own merit as a blog that millions of people wish was updated more often because of the supreme wit, intelligent subjects, laugh-your-butt-off humor, etc. that I offer each time I deign to press my delicate fingers against the keys to create such bloggems as THIS, THIS, THIS, and don't forget, THIS ONE. For fairness' sake, I have to harken back to THIS ONE. Don't say I never gave ya nothin.

(P.S. Here is one of my very favorite posts with lots and lots of pictures of a cute baby.)

I'm totally NOT posting these pictures and links to garner more votes. I would never use my beautiful and not-at-all-goofy-looking offspring in a cheap, desperate attempt to get you to feel guilty about voting for someone else in this contest.

BUUUUUT...if I DID win this year, because you all love me so much you stop by early and often to vote over and over again for me me me and only me...I might just get a teeny bit happy about that. I'm so much more pleasanter when I'm happy. Eets okah, yew cahn luke at me again...

Hot Mama

2010-05-02T08:00:00.005-05:00

I can sneak away (in between baby feedings) and run to the local grocery store to get some essentials. I took a trip to the local (about a mile away) Coborn's yesterday. I was waiting for the meat counter guy to cut up my pork chops and I noticed something kind of funny.

Maybe it's because Butch has been out of town lately, I feel a little lonely for him, and my hormones and emotions are a little...out of WHACK...but I started to get hot in the face and felt like giggling uncontrollably. I looked around me to try to figure out what was the problem. My eyes got big and I realized...I was SURROUNDED BY MEN! There was a 30'sish guy coming at me from the right, a giant motorcycle man on the other side of the flat freezer, two guys (father and son?) coming at me from the left, at least 6 guys behind the meat counter, and more coming around the corners! It wouldn't have been so overwhelming, had two of the men not had very distracting things written on their shirts. I didn't know where to look. I am usually a "look-you-in-the-eye-smile-say-'hi'" kind of gal...but I just nervously darted my glance from there to here, the lobsters, anything to get my mind off of laughing hysterically and looking like a crazyperson. I had to stand there and wait for the guy behind the counter, so I was TRAPPED. I started to sweat, wonder if I had remembered deodorant, felt the giggle bubbling up, and wished there were at LEAST ONE girl I could exchange rolled eyes with or to buffer all the testosterone in the general vicinity.

I felt like I had walked into a bar...a MEAT MARKET!

The two guys with the funny T-shirts happened to end up standing right next to each other by the ground beef. I finally got my chops from the butcher and turned around to find Weazy and Mari (who were looking for a cake for my dad and his twin sister's birthday that we were having at our house) and ran smack into those two guys. I couldn't resist and asked them if I could take a picture of the motorcycle man's t-shirt. He said "SURE!":

The other guy laughed when he saw what I was doing and I asked HIM if I could get a shot of HIS t-shirt, too. He puffed out his chest, proudly and I took a shot of that one (and probably blushed even more...really, my face was probably all blotchy and red and I wanted to laugh some more about how ridiculous I must have looked). I didn't feel particularly "HOT" yesterday, but I was feeling SWEATY!)

I think I'll bite the bullet, pack up the baby and some big helper kid, and head back to Aldi's the next time I need some meat. It's much safer there.

Two Books

2010-04-24T17:44:00.004-05:00

I put in a request, on facebook, for a book suggestion. I trust Jim's opinion so I chose his book, East of Eden (also, because he actually GAVE me a copy to read hahahaha!).

I PURPOSELY didn't read any other reviews before or since reading these books. I hardly ever do, because I find it colors my view of the book while I'm reading it, and that ruins it for me. I know a lot of people like to have a lot of people's opinions before they read a book, so here ya go! If you are NOT one of those people, do not continue to read!

East of Eden, by John Steinbeck
I had to read The Grapes of Wrath and Of Mice and Men when I was in school. I really loved those books, so I was excited to read this book (even though I thought I had read it back when, it turns out that I'd only seen the movie a long time ago...didn't even remember what the movie was about). It started out with so much background and family details and history, it was a little hard to get into. I was also only a couple of weeks away from delivery and couldn't find a minute to read. I'd take the lazy way out and read a quick article online or check fb. I brought the book with me to the hospital, though. Because the kids were all sick at home, Butch stayed home with them and Trina stayed in the hospital with me so I got in some good hours of reading time!

There were SO many beautiful and good lines in this book! Despite graphic details about evil, whorehouses, beatings, abuse, and many references to the ugliness of life in the early part of the century, I can still call this great book!

It was mostly a fictionalized version of the details of life for the people who grew and lived in the late 18-early 1900s around the place where the author's family came from. It contained a lot of true parts of his own family tree but included a lot of conjecture based on family stories and rumors. It was kind of historical fiction meets family tree.

I sensed the author put a lot of his own attitudes and feelings into the many different strong characters in this book. One of the most important characters with the most impact on all the surrounding characters was the author's own grandfather. He describes him in such loving detail, almost to the point of repetition, that you can tell the author thought a lot of his grandfather and wished to honor his memory for all time and for the rest of his family's sake.

The only thing I find "wrong" with this novel, is that the author gets kind of unfocused on what he wants to mainly parlay with the story. Is it a family history? Is it a re-telling of the book of Genesis? Is it just a bunch of intertwined stories of people and their lives? I finished the last few chapters with a feeling of disappointment in where the story ended up. I guess, at that point, I was actually expecting a certain amount of drama that never really delivered. It's almost like the author sensed he was over dramatizing a true story and pulled back.

The book is VERY concentrated on the virtue and vice of each character. He seems to want us to truly understand that man has both good and evil inside him that that we have the CHOICE to act upon those characteristics. One or more of the characters seems to be born evil with no chance of redemption, so the theory that we have a choice doesn't follow there. The book is VERY heavy on multiple philosophies (as discussions by many of the characters) so you can tell the author is a deep and heavy thinker who enjoys getting others to think deeply as well (without over dramatizing). I love that kind of writing, so: GOOD JOB, JIM! You nailed it!

The Shack, by William Young
The book The Shack was recommended by a number of people but my neighbor just happened to be finishing it and handed it over just the other day. I finished it in one afternoon. I hadn't really heard anything about it, so I read an article about the author before I read it. It seems the author has MAJOR issues (was raised by missionary parents and was abused by tribespeople, had an affair after having 6 kids...yeah, issues). The book is all about a guy whose daughter is abducted and murdered by a psycho. He gets invited to the shack ( in which she was presumably killed) by God. God appears to him in a trinitarian form of characters. They are all non-white people. I had a lot of issues with this book.

First of all, a lot of the theology in the book is bogus. It's a very imaginative and private view of God, personified by the author. It seemed like his own way of working through the factors of forgiveness while indulging himself in countering years of religious abuse by his idiot parents, who ever thought it would be a good idea to raise a child in a third world country surrounded by heathens. Blech. I already had major issues with parents who choose this kind of life for their children, now I'm convinced it can't lead to any GOOD to bring your healthy child to a backward land to "preach the Word of God". If this author's mind and behaviors are any indication of what could happen to a perfectly innocent child in that circumstance, NO THANK YOU!

It was a quick read and a fair story line, but the author got WAY hung up on his own philosophies and his own brand of theology (all the while denigrating all of the thousands of years of theology of the Church...trapping the reader into thinking "gee, if I don't really believe this author, I must be one of those zombie church-goers and not a real Christian/believer"). If I were a parent who had a child brutalized in this or in a similar way, I'd be horrified and UNcomforted by this man's vision of "heaven" or eternity with God. I also found myself tuning out when he kept stressing that theory that dark is just the absence of light. I get it, already, it's just not TRUE that that's ALL it is. Evil is it's own entity. Evil does exist. The author contradicts himself with this theory by saying that God was with the girl during the evil act. The obvious problem there is that evil still WAS, even in the presence of God. The author had a lot of help writing this book, you can just tell. He's not a very good author and the story sags quite a bit in the middle and end.

Very Advanced

2010-04-19T14:39:00.002-05:00

One and a half days old, and we captured her first smile already. We figure she'll be walking by next week.

Evangeline

2010-04-18T15:30:00.017-05:00

(Ah've decided that purple is her signutuh culuh)

Evangeline Susan Nielsen

Born at 1:35, Friday afternoon, April 16th, 2010.

10 pounds 3 oz.

21 3/4 inches in length

I wish I could post the video of her being born. It was such a funny delivery. I had all my sistahs there and they were SO helpful. I'll try to re-cap the adventures for you.

Here's what happened from MY perspective (I've seen the video and it's SO much different than what I was perceiving! The second med they put in my epidural line made me super groggy and nauseous so I was closing my eyes for most of the actual delivery. Closing my eyes made me have a very interesting conversation with myself.):

I got to the hospital with Trina (Butch decided to stay home and just ease the kids into the day so they wouldn't be alone for so long, since we didn't know how long things would take) around 6am. They hooked me up to monitors and tried to start the pitocin but I insisted that they wait until the epidural was placed. That was a good move.

I was dilated to 3 (which was one more than on the day before, so it meant I was already sort of starting labor. I estimate that I would have had her within three days, had I gone "naturally". My due date is today, Sunday the 18th!).

They finally came in and placed the epidural and started the pitocin around 10am (it went a lot faster than it sounds...lots of paperwork and fussing anyway.) then the action started. I was checked about an hour into it and the contractions finally came around 3 minutes, consistently. Meanwhile, all my girls started filtering in as I texted them with updates. My "go number" was 5, and most of them rushed over as soon as they knew it was going pretty fast. Here's everyone "helping" me (before things got intense. The truth is, they are actually more involved in the actual delivery than we parody here in the picture!)

(Oh, Butch finally came, he's taking the picture!)
The picture didn't include Krista, who hadn't seen a baby born before (except her own three). She walked in right after I started pushing. I just saw the video and it was super funny. I pushed, then someone walks in and I say "Oh, HI! Yay, you made it! then I started pushing and had the baby!). Also, it doesn't include Anna, who was in California at her coffee convention thingie. She missed a good one, but she and her new husband get to be the godparents. Oh, did I mention that they are expecting their first baby???!!! They announced it at Easter and we are all so happy!

When things started to hurt, I panicked because that had happened before, and I got nervous when the anesth. didn't come in and bump my meds (he told me if the pain got above 5, to call him) so I had to endure some pretty nasty contractions before he came in and gave me a big bolus of a different medication into the epidural line. It worked and things moved pretty textbook-like into transition. I got the shakes and felt more pressure so the doctor checked me and told me I could push any time. I told him that I could, but that I didn't want to, yet. He told me "that's just fine, we'll let her come down by herself" and I was happy. I could hear her heartbeat the whole time and knew she was fine, so I just fought the nausea and tried to remember to breathe. Rachie was right beside me so I whispered that I was going to try a "practice push" with nobody watching, to see if that did anything. She conspired to hide and distract while I pushed. I realized that I was feeling a little pain with the contractions, and that holding my breath and pretending to push, actually made the pain go away so I told them I was ready to "push".

In my head, I was having the following conversation:

Me: I feel like puking, I need to abandon this "pushing" facade (I really couldn't feel anything to push, so I was totally faking it), and just try to puke, maybe I'd feel better?

Me: Yeah, you could do that, but if you do, then it will take longer and you will be doing this thing forever. How about just keep doing the holding the breath thing and fake it some more until you pass out. THEN, you won't have to puke and maybe the baby will come on her own?

Me: Good idea. They're telling me to "push" again, so I'll really put on a good show this time and maybe my face will turn red. I'll throw in a grunt or two for show.

Me: Heh heh, that would be a hoot.
I had to keep from stopping the "pushing" charade to make comments on what I was feeling and thinking. I thought "they'll never believe I'm pushing if I stop to make conversation!".

So, I "pushed" a bunch more. I never ever felt a baby like this. She was bouncing, moving, kicking, twisting and totally awake from the moment I got to the hospital, until hours after she was born. I've NEVER had a child kick her way out of the womb before! She was pushing and twisting all the way out! That totally distracted me front the queasy feeling that I kept having. I had estimated 8 lbs, 7 oz when we did our last minute guesses (that we post on the wipeoff board). The nurse won with a guess of 9 lbs, 13 oz! She said, when the baby's head was out, "Do you want to feel your baby's head?" I sneered at her, "No, YOU can feel it."

I HATE when people want you to look at or feel the baby before it's totally OUT of the body. I also hate when people say "PUSH". I think I've mentioned that before.

The nurse was perfectly nice, I just didn't get a chance to warn her.

Right before I started to really push, Weazy started crying and ran into the bathroom and puked her guts out. Butch was attending to her during the whole birth. I think he'd rather help a puking child, than watch a baby be born, so I'm pretty sure he was okay with that arrangement. We chalked it up to nerves (which was weird, since she'd seen Tommy be born and was perfectly fine with that) but it turned out, 4 of the six kids had a puking stomach virus all day Friday and most of Saturday. No fever, no previous indications, just violent, sudden vomiting that didn't stop for 24 hours! Other than Weazy being at the hospital right when her barf-fest started, it was pretty good timing! If I had stayed home and went into labor on my own...EW. What a mess!

So, Evangeline came out and woofed in a big wad of fluid but it got suctioned out quickly, she was perfect (perfectly CHUBBY!) in every way, and now she's sitting in her brother's arms, squeaking and looking slightly orangy.

It was the quickest (5.5 hours), least painful, least stressful, best delivery I've ever had. If this were my first baby, I'd have 6 more HAHAHAHAHA!

Butch is my total hero for keeping things in order around here despite the barf-o-rama. Mom came and really stepped up with the keeping up on wash and trying to make the kids feel better. I really itched to go home right away since I felt SO good. I almost feel like myself only two days later! So, I decided to steal away during the night and came home around 9pm last night. I loved "sleeping" in my own bed. The baby was sleeping a lot and I actually had to wake her for some feedings, just to be sure she can start the milk and get rid of the jaundice before it takes hold. She's a good nurser and is so sweet to look at and play with. She's a charmer. She's being fought over quite a bit today.

I'll post a bunch of pictures of our visitors and Evangeline. The only non-family visitor, besides some of the sistahs, was Meredith who was there for the birth, because she happened to have an appt. at the clinic next door, but had her daughters with her. She went to the waiting room and, I didn't find out until later, kept an eye on Krista's kids until after Evangeline was born! She also ran out and came back later, by herself, for a nice long visit and brought a huge goodie basket of awesome, useful stuff. I can't thank her enough! She included some note cards for thank-yous but I think I'll do some personal emails instead, since my handwriting is so horrible, they'll think they got a card from the doctor's office.

Thank you, EVERYONE, for prayers, for being there, for helping me with the other kids, and for just being friends of our big, crazy family.

"4, 3, 2, 1, Earth Beloooowwww Us..."

2010-04-15T02:25:00.004-05:00

That dang song keeps running through my mind when people (i.e. EVERYONE WHO IS WITHIN TALKING DISTANCE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS) ask me "When is the baby due?"

I'm huge. I mean, my BELLY is huge. I can't suck it in anymore. I'm fooling no one.

("The Countdown starrrrrrts...")

I am not a rocketship!

Shut up, voices in my head!!!

"...drifting, falling, floating weightless
calling, calling home..."

I then remember how every time I'm at that "no turning back" moment at the hospital, I feel the unreasonable urge to get up, get dressed, go home and go to bed. "YOU guys can stay here and do this thing. I'M going home. I've decided I've changed my mind and I don't wanna do this any more. Nice seeing you all! Sorry to disappoint you but I'm leaving now!"

("Hello Major To,. are you receiving?
Turn the thrusters on.
We're standing by."
There's no reply...)

Nobody ever takes me seriously when I say "I CAN'T DO THIS!" Don't they know that I really CAN'T?! I guess not, because they won't let me go home and they make me PUUUUUSH all of the time. Jerks.

Oh well, at least they've been trained not not NOT to say "pushpushpushpshpshspshspshsp" I hate it when I hear that and I will just go ahead and NOT push for people who do that awful thing. I'm not their monkey. They can't tell me what to do. I'll push when I'm damn good and ready to push, so there.

(Watching in a trance, the crew is certain.
Nothing left to chance, all is working.
Trying to relax, up in the capsule
"Send me up a drink.", jokes Major Tom.
The count goes on...)

And now, the song is safely here, on my blog, where it will haunt all of YOU and drive YOU nuts today. I need to sit and gestate one more day. I can't have this song drilling my brain anymore with it's synthesizer beat and beeboobopbop robot sounds in the background pushing me to the brink of insanity.

(The countdown starrrrrts...)

AAAACK! Make it go AWAYYYYYYY!

Friday. I go in on Friday to have this baby. THIS Friday. (If I don't run away from the hospital, that is.)

Dr. Bocker

2010-04-13T00:03:00.004-05:00

All of the kids are kind of past the "oh my gosh, I can't WAIT for the new baby to come!" stage. All except Bocker (Niklaus).

Bocker has always been the one child in the family to ask "Are you okay?" if you sneezed, coughed, made a noise of pain, etc.. I didn't really notice that fact for a long time. He seems to be ultra empathetic, which is a rare thing for children. He asks me questions about the baby all of the time and is the only one patient enough to really feel the baby when she's moving around. He loves it when she wiggles and his eyes get HUGE and he says "WHOA, that was a GOOD one!" then he laughs with pure joy.

I wonder why? I didn't treat him any different than any of the other kids. I didn't overly coddle him, or overly punish him. I think it's just really, truly his nature! It's so funny how he walks past me and puts his hand on my belly, then walks away as if nothing's happened. He's the ONLY one who will ask, "How are you doing, Mom?" in the middle of the day, out of the blue. He's the only one who LOVES being snuggled and holding on to another person. If he could be physically attached to someone all day (a la' conjoined twins), he'd probably be a happy camper!

He loves those medical shows and baby story shows and never even says "EWWWW" on the gross parts. During those survivor shows the family likes to watch, he'll say, "Don't worry, Mom, I'll tell you when the yucky parts come and you can cover your eyes!". He watches them, and doesn't even really cringe. If someone is bleeding or in any kind of pain, he IMMEDIATELY asks if you need anything and won't hesitate to get it for you. He's like our own personal triage nurse.

He's an unusual duck, but I sure like him. Oh, and I think I might want him in the delivery room with me. If it's not too dramatic (i.e. I've had an early epidural that works perfectly), I think he'd really get a kick out of the whole thing. He's really more suited to that than any of the other kids. The bigger girls were at the last delivery and they did really well. My sistahs did a good job of ushering them out of the room during sensitive times and keeping them in a "can see the baby coming out" only position in the room. It worked out nicely so I really can't see a problem for Bocker being there when this little girl is born.

He will probably be right next to me in the bed saying, "It's okay, Mom, there's just a little blood, it's going to be okay. WHOA, did you SEE that? That was COOL! Do you need another pillow?" the whole time. Am I messing him up for life? Or, will he end up being a really good OB/GYN some day?

8 Days of Creation?

2010-04-10T14:35:00.003-05:00

We've got some new mosaics on the baptismal "font"/hot tub. I thought they were VERY beautiful, so I snapped a few pics before Mass a couple Sundays ago.

I still don't like this giant thing in the back of church but, at least it looks a little more decorated now. I've seen worse...MUCH worse, so I probably shouldn't complain.
I guess the panels are supposed to represent the story of creation...the "8 days of creation" Father said. HUH? He sort of laughed and said he'd explain it in a later homily so, stay tuned!

The new baby will be baptized here, that's nice. I can't wait to post pictures of THAT day, because it will mean that she's on the OUTSIDE, safe and sound!

I Apolergize

2010-04-06T10:02:00.004-05:00

I meant to do that thing on the sidebar where it shows the latest postings of all of my peeps. So, I went ahead and deleted all of my links first, then got distracted...of course. I'll get to it sometime soon so all the newbies can see all of the oldies/goodies that have been my blogfriends/family/realpals for years. The world awaits my procrastinating but well-intentioned duties. Meanwhile, I'll post a few pictures and wait for the calls and emails to come in with more offers of housekeeping, billpaying, childcare, hair-highlighting to get on my highly sought after blogroll spot HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mari and cousin, Sofia

Tommy lovin' on Cousin Vinny

How to keep track of the quiet ones outside, at night, before bed, in their cut-off-footie jammies

Pouting

2010-04-05T13:56:00.002-05:00

No more of it. Paula just told me of a friend of hers who went in for her last weekly OB check before the baby is born and found there was no heartbeat. Her sixth baby died. It was a boy. His only brother was looking forward to having a baby brother.

Please pray for this family today.

I will continue my prayer for them by not whining anymore about my pregnancy. I will enjoy every moment I have with my baby. I don't know what got into me the last few weeks but I've been a royal pain. I'll try to bear all with joy from this day forward.

Jealous Much?

2010-04-02T08:20:00.001-05:00

Yes I am, thank you very much.

My Achin' Everything

2010-03-31T12:01:00.005-05:00

I get tired putting my hair in a pony-tail. I'm really really really DONE with this pregnancy.
If this weren't Holy Week, I couldn't really go to church any more (last Sunday about did me in) but I'm going to try to gut through singing in the choir Thurs., Fri, and for Easter Vigil. After that, church will probably have to wait until after the baby is born.

I have a HUGE bunch of scheduling conflicts this time.

1. I had Mari a week early (induced) and I still don't think she was "ready", so I'm reluctant to induce more than 4 days early.

2. My doctor will be out of town after this weekend until the 15th

3. I'm due the 18th (Sunday) but want to be induced on Friday, the 16th.

4. I'm not sure if the baby's head is even down, which will affect everything.

5. My youngest sister will be out of town over the due time.

6. If I went over, my other sisters won't be around (vacations).

7. I don't want to go over.

8. I am seeing the doctor this Friday and I'll know more...but I REALLY want HIM to be there for the birth, since I've witnessed my sisters' deliveries (via that same doctor) for 7 babies and I just KNOW that I'd have a great experience with him and all of my sistahs present.

9. I need to have this baby soon because I'm very quickly running out of things to wear and pretty soon all that will fit is my mom's size 3 muu muus. (No, they don't fit her...she just buys things WAY too big for her.).

I know a lot of people would read this and think: Yeah, the baby will come when she comes and what's the big deal with having all of those people there? Haven't you done this 6 times before???

It's just that I've had so many not-so-great birth experiences, I don't know if this is my last, and I've had this doctor before but he was gone when I went into labor with Bocker and the doctor on call was the devil's minion (I think) and it was a HORRIBLE experience that I don't want to repeat. Also, the worst experience was only two years ago with Thomas so I'm still suffering PTSD about that. I know it can be GREAT, but I also know that most of my deliveries are really not great-truly awful. The only "perfect" situation would be:
1. To have my kids all in a good place and comfortable where they are during the delivery so I don't have to worry about them at all.

2. To have Butch be there.

3. To have all my sistahs be there.

4. To have MY doctor be there.

5. (maybe this one should have been number ONE) to have the anesthesiologist be standing right outside my room, needle in hand, ready for me the minute I have a contraction and long before I'm in actual labor/I get pitocin.

I just don't think, after all of these babies, that's asking too much.

Do you?

We went on "vacation" last week. From Tuesday night thru Saturday afternoon, we had the pool at Breezy Point resort all to ourselves. The stay was free from an angel that works with Butch. It was so great for the kids to have this adventure. Butch actually had some work, so he missed out but got to sleep in his own bed!

Here's a picture of all of the kids in the pool. They were so wonderfully behaved and helpful. Matthew cheerfully helped Tommy nearly the whole time and most of the time, he had two kids within reach for whom to be responsible. Trina was my other eyeballs and helped me with everything as well. They were both not feeling so great, so I really have to give them credit for all of the hauling and watching that they did last week.

Here is the baby. She's swimming, but this is as close as she got to the chlorine pool! (Don't worry, I watched her very closely.)
P.S. If Tommy stands directly under my belly, he disappears completely.

Preparations

2010-03-07T21:04:00.003-06:00

I think it's kind of funny how, with each birth/hospital experience, my "go to the hospital" bag has shrunk.

With Trina, I brought a huge duffel bag full of every possible thing a new mom could need: special music, scented stuff, pampering things, special blankets and a choice of clothing for the baby to wear when he/she went home, some bigger clothes from before the pregnancy, so that I could have something to wear home.

I wore what I walked in the hospital wearing.

I was annoyed with any smells/sounds and didn't need any of that crap.

I didn't use 90 percent of the stuff I packed.

With Tommy, I brought the following things:

My bag: extra pads (I've noticed the hospital charges enormous amounts of money for those dumb things), my daily makeup/personal care gear (small bag), an extra pair of underwear, some comfy sweats/pjs, and some extra slipper socks.

Baby's bag: an outfit for going home, some spit blankets, a carseat.

I made sure my phone was charged up and that my camera was in my regular purse. I also made sure I had a tweezers and fingernail clipper...for when I had extra clipping and tweezing time. That hospital was miles away and I knew I'd have a lot of down time.

I was glad I didn't have a lot of fussy stuff to put away once I got home. This time, I might add some snacks so I don't feel like a pig, asking for juice after juice and snack after snack besides the meals. I drive the nurses NUTS with my snack requests. I might just pack a REALLY BIG BAG of snacks this time.

I also try to remember one of my pillows. I think I might try to come home early this time (depending on what time of day I go to the hosp.). I don't need the extra billing and those hosp. beds are SO uncomfortable. Besides, I always feel like I'm overstaying my welcome by the third day.

I think I might try to get away with NOT having that damned blood pressure cuff attached to me the whole time during labor. That thing will drive a girl insane.

I might try to do most of the labor without the epidural. That intrathecal morphine thingy worked really well last time (the anesthesiologist was late and it was my only option)...but I'd hate for it to "run out" and not have any more pain relief when it really matters. Do you know if you can get an epidural AND the morphine (toward the end if the epidural isn't working properly...which has happened to me three times)?

Boy, you'd think I'd have it DOWN by now! You'd think I'd just go in the hospital, pop out a baby, and come home later that afternoon, weighing 50 pounds less and with a cute, happy, non-yellow, happily nursing child in my arms!

I wish.

Sick Days, Birthdays, Happy Days, Sad Days

2010-03-01T21:10:00.011-06:00

After our Crazy Dance Party a few Friday nights ago, we got strep in the house. The whole works (except for Trina and I) had to go to the doctor and get meds. THEN, Tommy couldn't breathe one night, so we went to the ER with him and he got a steroid shot, with the lovely info that the doctor thought he must have croup. Really? Croup (virus) AND strep (bacteria)? How lucky can one family get? Everyone else got the virus too, including Trina.

It took three weeks and finally, today, everyone sounds and feels a whole lot better.

On Wed. we celebrated Tommy's 2nd birthday (he was sick and miserable, I don't have any pictures of that day, but here's a shot of him at that dance party the Friday before. He danced so much he collapsed on the floor...several times...especially when he saw the camera was on!)
We then celebrated Mari's 4th birthday on Friday. She went to a pre-school screening (I don't intend to send her to school, but I just like the screening and the people who do it in this town. They're very supportive of homeschoolers in this district.)
She wanted to wear her crown and bring her purse along for the screening. It was pretty obvious that it was her birthday, since she wore this special collar that said "Happy Birthday" that she'd been saving ALL year, just for the occasion. They sung "Happy Birthday" to her at the school. She was so pleased. She also said goodbye to the neighbor as he took his kids (that we babysit) off to see their grandma. Mari hollered across the street, "Bye! Hey, did you know today's my birthday?" The neighbor said, "Oh yeah! That's right!". Mari hollered again, "You forgot to say 'happy birthday'!". He thought it was funny...I thought she was getting a little to into the princess thing.
That girl's got some MAJOR sass going for her. I have a feeling she's going to work it until she figures out some other thing that will work for her to get out of doing chores and taking naps.

Saturday morning, Butch's parents took the birthday kids (including Butch) out to their breakfast/shopping for birthday gift/shopping for cake, tradition that we started a few years ago. It makes the birthday kid feel really special but we figured three birds with one stone was the way to go this year! Butch reported that this exchange happened at Perkin's:
Server: Do you want pie, or ice cream?
(she got a choice for her birthday)
Mari: Ummm, I think because I'm FOUR, I should have cake and ice cream.

She got ice cream. Butch put the brakes on the princess complex there, but she handled it just fine!
Saturday night, we had my side of the family over to celebrate the birthdays in our house (Butch's was Sunday!) and my twin niece and nephew (birthday today) and my other nephew who will be 4 this Saturday. It was super funny to sing happy birthday for 3 cakes (two names on each) and it ended up being a total blast. We had a couple other people over, too. Our neighbors (who are like family since we have their children over every week for babysitting)and Tommy's godparents, Rachie and Billy. Even Matt and Anna got to come from Menomonie with their dog, Jake. A good time was had by all!

The "sad days" in the title only refers to the illnesses...but there is some sadness in that the worry of an unstable economy is threatening Butch's job. He has been laid off (this will be the third week) for the first time in years and years. His company is very stable, one of the only companies that does what they do, and THEY are feeling the pinch...I can't imagine how the rest of the construction/industrial world is doing right now and for the past two years. I don't know how people live on just unemployment, but I know we can't. We can NOT sustain this for very long. I don't know what we would do if he were laid off for more than 5 or 6 weeks. We have to make some tough choices, I know that, but with 7 kids, there are certain things that pass the "want" category and really are the NEEDS. We need a roof over our heads, clothing on our bodies, food in our bellies, and transportation. What can we let go? Not much. We have come to depend on the internet for communication, education, and bill paying...although, the thought just occurred to me that if I can't pay bills, what's the point of paying them online? Just (mostly) kidding! I'm cracking up a bit here. This is all a lot of worry that a LOT of people are going through, I know that. It does make things a little easier, knowing that there are a whole lot of people in this sinking boat with us. Misery loves company, right? Ugh. How about misery can take a hike. I wish misery would leave people alone once in a dang while. Misery stinks on ice.

Well, the ONE good thing that comes from having Butch here is that he is helping with school. Math is hard (said in my best Barbie voice) and Butch does it so much better than I do! He gets to see how schooling works for each child, which is something he misses out on while he's working. He has also gotten to take them ice fishing a few times (something he's never really done before) with one of his retired co-workers (a great friend of the family). That's been great bonding time with the kids, too. Butch and the kids also primed and painted the entire basement. We had all of the equipment and paint but hadn't had the time to finish that job until now. If we only had money, as well as time, we could put in carpet and trim things up...but that might have to wait for a while. We haven't driven each other crazy quite yet, but I'm sure that day is coming.

Oh well, I guess we'll just have to gear up...

Find the strength to push each other to not give up...

Remember to lean on God, who will help us when we feel like falling...

And when we fall...

And get discouraged...

We can know that all of that prayer and love will carry us through...

And help us (however shakily) get to our feet...

Until we rise again!

Triumphantly calling from the highest mountaintop!

"Come let us praise the Lord with joy: let us joyfully sing to God our saviour. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving; and make a joyful noise to him with psalms. For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. For in his hand are all the ends of the earth: and the heights of the mountains are his. For the sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land.

Come let us adore and fall down: and weep before the Lord that made us. For he is the Lord our God: and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand. Today if you shall hear his voice, harden not your hearts..."

Breakdown

2010-02-19T07:07:00.003-06:00

Everybody has their "moment".

Like that guy who smashed his plane into the IRS building, or that woman who's been crazy for years, finally freaking out and killing some of her fellow professors at that college...everyone has that tipping point...although, some people go WAY too far and can never turn back (because of jail or killing themselves).

I would never go that far into making life miserable for any other person, but I get to where I make life more miserable for myself once in a while. I know that some people would call it "depression" but I just call it "this thing". It's "this thing" that gets to me and makes me snap and yell at everyone until I realize it's my own attitude, mood, and reaction to NORMAL things that is making me feel sorry for myself and all pitiful. I have to go into a corner and cry for a while and get all red-eyed and puffy faced. I pray for God to take away that suffering, like a wimpy little brat, then I suffer for a little while more, look at my wretched face in the mirror and start laughing.

I guess that's the point where God must have heard my prayers and said, "You sick, foolish thing. Clean yourself up. You look ridiculous and you're not doing yourself, or anyone else any good!".

This thing happens to me once during the beginning of pregnancy and sometimes once, directly after. I know it's mostly hormonal changes that trigger it, duh, but that knowledge doesn't really matter at the time. In fact, when I'm pregnant, I can allow myself to feel even MORE sorry for myself (instead of embracing the suffering for people who can't have children), which leads to more of this thing until I erupt in that mushy, sad, crapsack of a girl who can't utter a coherent sentence when someone asks her "What's wrong?". It's always exacerbated by external things, like family who disappoints, world events, and mainly; money issues (mostly of my own making and disorganized nature).

So, how do I counter this thing? I have no idea. After the last breakdown (in December, I think), I had a very wonderful feeling of peace. I still have the aches, pains, and complaints of every day life, but they don't effect me, emotionally, as much and I feel a peace in my heart (how girly, I know) that I can't explain, other than to think that maybe God is answering someone else's prayers for me and making me handle things a little more like a sane person.

(I don't call myself the "crazymama" for nothin'!)

Okay, now for the funny part. I woke up in the middle of the night (just like every night, around 3 am. I have a funny feeling that God always is trying to tell me something and that that's why I always wake up at that time. I usually wake up in a cold sweat, or jerk awake from some disturbing dream, or hearing my name being called), went downstairs to the couch, and I turned on the tv and drifted in and out of sleep. At one point, I woke up, and saw this, and couldn't wait to write about it. It was, quite possibly, the funniest thing I've ever seen in the wee hours:

It was an infomercial for male enhancement. I know that that, right there, is funny enough (how could anyone fall for that? Why don't I invent a "magic pill" that can take away wrinkles and make your hips smaller and your boobs bigger? It would be just as believable!) but this one showed a quick picture with a tiny caption right after the lady hawking the thing said something about how depressing it is for the man to not feel "up to snuff in that area". It looked something like this:

It took me a minute before I realized what the commercial was for and why the caption struck me as so dang funny! See, I like to read the fine print under a photo or at the bottom of the screen for those weirdo infomercials in the middle of the night. My favorite one is always "results not typical, you should not expect the same results". THAT one always kills me! Why would you even bother with the whole, flipping commercial if no one should expect the exact result that you are touting? Sales and marketing people absolutely fascinate me.

Okay, back to that teeny photo and teeny caption. Here's what it read:

*Actual Hopelessness

SERIOUSLY! I started laughing until I had a choking fit and had to get up and get a drink of water. I'm going to think about that photo and caption, every time I feel myself sinking into that pit of self-sorrow and I KNOW I will be lifted up, INSTANTLY. I always KNEW there was a reason God always woke me up in the middle of the night...I just never thought it would be an infommercial for male enhancement.

Way Out West

2010-02-11T05:04:00.003-06:00

I've always said that if the kids wanted to go to college, they'd have to pay for it themselves. I don't believe that if WE paid for it (which we can't, anyway), they wouldn't truly appreciate their education and would slack off and probably drop out or take it for granted and screw around in school. I remember from my sisters' school years, how they would be so appalled by the classmates who had everything paid for and acted spoiled and rude.

Well, I'm going to try to get all of the children to do the post-secondary option and, at least, get their first two years under their belts for free. I hope that will help them decide what they "want to be when they grow up" and how much they are willing to sacrifice to achieve an education beyond homeschool/community college/tech school.

BUT, if I DID have the money, I would use it to send them HERE in a heartbeat! Father's description of the place makes me want to sign them all up!

Lazy Lazy Laura

2010-02-03T12:46:00.002-06:00

I am running on E. I've already gained about 40 pounds with this baby and I've still got three+ months to go. I can't walk properly because my foot got injured when I clumsily fell down the steps that lead to the garage last week. People look at me funny when I'm out in public. They look at me as if to say, "Hmmm, she looks too young to be walking like an old person." or "Must be because she's got that HUGE belly to haul around, poor thing."

I've got no exciting pictures to share, nothing fun to talk about, no links of any interest to post.

Except one.

Here is a link to one of my favorite blogs. It has good pictures and a cute story.

Enjoy!

Thank You For Your Prayers

2010-01-26T21:07:00.003-06:00

Keep them coming. Michael Talley passed away in the loving arms of his wife, Nicole. Here is her caringbridge (Monday, Jan. 25th) post:

My beloved Husband Michael passed away this morning around 7:20am. He passed away peacefully as I laid in the bed next to him. I felt a presence lay next to me just before I noticed he stopped breathing. I believe he gave me one last hug, until we are together again in the ever-lasting world of our heavenly father. I can't stop crying, my heart hurts so badly. I just got home for the first time in 30 days. I thought it would be hard but to see the pictures in our home of Michael gave me such comfort. He must be close by giving me comfort as he walks with Jesus. The children are still at school I'm sure they will know as soon as they see me. Please pray for me as I tell them.
I will be talking with Father this afternoon. I will let everyone know the arrangements at that time.

Thank you and God Bless!!
Love Nicole

The wake is tomorrow night and the funeral will be on Thurs. morn at 11am. Here is the local paper obituary:

Michael B. Talley

Leave a message at either site for Nicole and her kids, if you wish. It's going to be a rough time for them now. I know they are very supported by family and friends, but it won't change the fact that they'll have to go on without their daddy, husband, friend...I can't imagine.

Anna's Wedding Pictures (part 1)

2010-01-14T22:42:00.008-06:00

Go HERE for the blog of the photographer and some samples of pictures from the big day! The cutest one is of the flower girls (can you spot Analise and Mari? It was the only one where Mari wasn't pouting about something or other that day!). I'm glad she didn't put any of me (except a very small one of the whole church and I'm the ginormous black splotch next to Anna on the altar) because I am HUGE! I know I know, I don't REALLY care, but it's quite shocking to see pictures of it all. I was so busy with the kids that day that I didn't have time to take pics myself. I'm so glad that she had such a great photographer and that I can share the site with you!

Oh, here's a shot of all the boys (all the cousins/kids of my siblings and mine) while we were getting ready and taking pictures. It's a good thing we had Matty there that day to help entertain the boys. He also served Mass and did a great job (rang the bells for the first time!), considering it was only his THIRD MASS EVER!

Shoot, I just realized that Johnny isn't in that picture! He's the same age as Mari and has really red hair. He's such a cutie...I'll have to find a pic that includes him.

THERE he is! Over there on the far left.
L to R:
John, Thomas, Wyatt, Matthew (holding Vincent), Roman, Niklaus

Tommy, Matthew and Niklaus are mine
John is my brother, Nick's
Vincent and Roman belong to my brother, Peter
Wyatt is my sister, Katrina's

(I stole this one from Megan Norman's blog post to show all the girls in the wedding. She is a fabulous, professional photographer and she did a great job that day with our huge family and the young age of the wedding party! She had tremendous amounts of patience, which should serve her well when she has her new little one very soon!)

Top row: Gabriella, Anna (holding Madeline), Anabella, Lucia, Analise
Mid row: Alexis, Paulina, Mariela
Bottom: Sofia, Anika

Gabriella, Anabella, and Paulina are my sister, Katrina's
Alexis and Anika are my brother, Nick's
Lucia and Sofia are my brother, Pete's
Madeline is my brother, Rudy's
Mariela and Analise are mine!

The only one missing is Katrina (mine) because she was a jr. bridesmaid and I don't have a picture of her, yet. I'll get one on here as soon as I see all of the professional pics!

Here's the toast I wrote and gave at Anna and Matt's wedding feast:

The kids instantly loved him. That day, in the garage when we all first met Matt, all the kids were in awe. They stared up at him and just grinned. Even my Matty and BUTCH all had sneaky smiles on their faces, as if they JUST KNEW the hyjinx they’d be getting up to in future years together. It really was a magical, mysterious day. Here’s what happened: After church, Matt and Anna stopped by to meet everyone at our house. My family met him first. I got my first impressions, asked all my nosey questions, and went into the house to get some snacks ready. Trine’s family came next and SHE got to do the same thing I did but I hadn’t talked to her yet, by the time that Nellie and Pete’s family made it over to meet him. Nellie came into the house and asked me what I thought. I took about two seconds to say, “He’s goofy, sweet, and really…I just think he’s really HUMBLE!” She laughed and said that she ran into Trine outside and that she had said the exact same thing! I look at our family like an old, beloved family puzzle. Sometimes we get it out and put it together even though the box is falling apart and we know that it’s missing a few pieces. Matt was one of those “missing pieces” and, of course, because he was made to by God, he fits perfectly.

Attention! (a sorta poem)
When sweet baby Anna was born, we all sighed with joy
Us two oldest girls didn’t think we could TAKE another boy!
We cuddled and loved her and treated her with care,
We fussed over and dressed her and groomed her curly blond hair
We treated her like a princess, and maybe that is why
When she grew into a toddler, she would often cry.
Did I say cry? I mean she would scream!...and flop on the ground, and dramatically say that everyone was being MEAN!
Around about the time she started grade school, she tried to fit in and be really cool.
But us two older girls were teens now and in our boycrazy years, we missed a lot of the angst and insecurities and tears.
Thank goodness she had friends like Lydia, to help carry her through, keep her honest, accountable and always true.

Along came Butchie, Anna’s new big brother. They picked on, teased and generally bugged each other.
But, they also shared their First Holy communion day, and many days of joy.
And big brother Butchie dreaded the day he’d have to approve of a boy…that would take away his baby sister and live up to his high expectations, someone who’d side with him in fights on family vacations. (pause for uncomfortable laughter from the family).
Then one day, Anna said she’d met her “match”, some dude in a uniform and a somewhat creepy ‘stach.
Well the ‘stach is gone, but the uniform’s still there, so Trine and I drooled and couldn’t wait to stare. And STARE we did when he walked up the drive. We thought “that dude is HUGE, at LEAST 6 foot five (turns out it’s only 6’ 3”)!
…and HOW could it BE that when Anna and he grins, they have identical teeth, dimples and chins?
I’m at the end of my lame rhyme so I won’t take anymore time and bore you with inside jokes and jeers. So pick up your glasses, hold them up high and simply just say “CHEERS!”

Pray, Keep Vigil

2010-01-12T17:17:00.002-06:00

From today's post on Caringbridge:

"Last night Michael's body started showing signs that his time here on earth is coming to the end. His breathing has slowed down and his blood pressure is low. Organs are also showing signs of shutting down. I starred at him most of the night, afraid to close my eyes, that if I fell asleep he may take that last breath. This morning the nurse practitioner was in and felt he may have 24 hours left. My heart just sunk. I am aware of everything but it still hit me hard, to think I will soon never see him again. I ask everyone to pray for Michael as he begins his journey home. May Jesus and all his angels wrap their arms around him and guide him.
I love you so much honey, it's time to be free from suffering. I will always be with you our love has no end!

Love Nicole "

Please, light a candle and pray for this family tonight.

The Great Dane Delivery and a History of St. Michael

2010-01-12T08:00:00.003-06:00

I was in my uncle's driveway with some of my kids. There was this giant, black great dane who had a HUGE lump on it's belly. Katrina was playing with it (the dog, not the lump) and was letting the dog walk over her, just because it could. I told her, "Watch out! I think that dog is pregnant!" but my uncle insisted that it was a boy dog and that it maybe had a tumor. I went over to it, did a sex check, and discovered that it had both...parts (thanks, Michelle of GGR...I'm sure this thought was inspired by your cattle confusion of a few posts ago) but I somehow had a feeling that if I just performed an ECV, something interesting would happen AND IT DID! The dog lay down and immediately delivered a HUGE puppy. I wiped it all up (even though it was born wrapped in bandages and baby blankets) and accepted back pats all around for doing such a good job.

Then I woke up.

I didn't get much sleep last night, because I was reading the book Faith, Family & Farming, by Bob Zahler. (Click here for Bob's site) It's all about the first settlers, first church, and history of the area I grew up in and still live in. It was SO fascinating! He did a really good job researching things and making it interesting. I think that, even if you DIDN'T grow up here or know anything about this place, you would even find it as fun to read as I did. There are many highlights such as the giant, castle-like building that was used as a sanatorium for "health" using the "wasserkur" method (some kind of crazy water therapy). Growing up there, I guess I didn't realize how unique our town was. We were the only town in our county to be built up around the church (and named after it). I didn't realize that the area designated as "The Big Woods" was so small and that we were included in it. I knew that the "pioneers" in MN were a hearty bunch, but I guess I didn't really realize just how hard life must have been for the first settlers who battled fierce winters, overly wooded areas to "break" for farming, and HORRENDOUS mosquitoes that they weren't used to in Germany. Some wonderful priest ministered to the mainly Catholics that came here. There was a totally fascinating parish battle with one of the priests, who was there for 14 years and managed to build up the parish but also managed to totally tick off a good portion of the town/parishioners. He wrote this awesome letter to Bishop Ireland (St. Paul) that could have been written today by an exasperated priest (except for the use of the words "saloon rowdies" and "hoodwinked". Heehee. Here's a great line at the end of his letter: "In a few years it's (the parish's) fate will be like the other German communities where the youth will just have learned enough German to be sarcastic; where secret societies steeped abundantly in Kraut, poison the religious life, and where they seek pleasures in organizations of dubious methods under the guise of religion." He was a very angry man. I think this town wrecked him, though. One of our modern priests came from the town that he went to directly after leaving this parish. He recalls how people remember that priest was super shaky and didn't live for very long after he moved there. There was even an attempt on the life of one of the priests BEFORE that priest came here. The people in this town have ALWAYS been snots to the priests, it seems. They were all a bunch of stubborn, German know-it-alls from the get-go (starting in the mid-1800s!).

I guess the apple doesn't fall very far, does it? ;P

(I am one of the descendants of the founders so I am posting this review because I think it's a super cool book and I learned a lot that I didn't know about the town in which I was raised...not because I was paid for this endorsement in any way! I even borrowed the book from Mom and Dad, for pete's sake!)

Ah Don't Loik SPAM

2010-01-04T14:04:00.003-06:00

Does anyone else have the comment spam problem? I moderate my comments and I STILL get at least 4 or 5 ads for viagra, porn, cialis, all-natural cures...does ANYONE ever check out those spam links? Someone must, because those "they" people still develop evil ways to send out their product's advertisements to drive normal people (who DON'T need any of those things) insane.

Now, I'm going to surprise you with a totally off-topic thing. I know I've written in the past about my...skepticism of certain "Catholic devotions". I just have something I have to get off my chest.

Here it is (pleasedon'thatemepleasedon'thateme):

I don't believe that God painted the tilma of Juan Diego.

There, I said it.

I just don't believe that that image is anything divine. I had the digital copy in my home (you know, one of those "traveling", life size photos) for a few hours one day and I really studied it. It's kind of an ugly painting. I'm sorry, but it's sort of a badly painted painting.

I think that the story and the image itself MAY have had a hand in helping the central American indigenous people to conform to the Christianity of their occupiers, which helped the society to advance beyond barbarism, of course. I think that it's an INTERESTING story, but I don't think it's a true one. There just isn't a lot of proof. Most of the renditions of the story don't really ring very true. Especially the so-called "proof" of the images in the painting's eyes. That is such garbage. I see weird, bearded men in my bathroom tile and groups of evil demons on the wood of the doors in every house I've ever been in. I even see cartoon faces of various animals in the doodles that Tommy makes on the walls. That stuff is just a HUGE stretch of the imagination!

Please, don't get me wrong, I WISH I thought the story was true. It would make it that much easier and more fun to celebrate the feast day, display the iconic image in my home (way prettier than the ugly "creepy Jesus" image of St. Faustina), and have something neato to teach the kids about while we light those votive candles you find in the Mexican food section at the grocery store.

I still tell them the story when they ask. I don't tell them that I don't really believe it's true. I figure they can decide for themselves about those kinds of matters. I just tell them that there are aspects of our faith that are non-negotiable and lots of other aspects that are totally beautiful, but you can take them or leave them.

I leave them.

Of course, I don't OBSESS about disproving certain things, like SOME people. That sure would make my life miserable. When something is brought up about one of these subjects, I listen then make my opinion known. I think it's great that certain things make people light up and talk about their relationship with God in a good way...but then I go and open my big mouth and say "Eh, I don't really go for that kind of thing." when they ask me if I've read such and such a book or if I've ever experienced some great epiphany when reflecting on something like that. Here's my current list of "no, I don't really believe that stuff is true":
1. Our Lady of Guadalupe
2. Medjugorje
3. The Divine Mercy stuff
4. Charismatic renewal (self hypnosis, garbage)
5. (not as well known, but still strange)The Intercessors of the Lamb (weird, quasi-order of "nuns"...more like a cult)
6. (steer the HECK away from this deluded woman) Anne, a lay apostle

I heard about most of these through a Marian conference held at my CHURCH, so just because it's (supposedly) "endorsed" by a church, be careful.

I also think that a lot of the stories of uncorrupted bodies of saints are a little "out there". "Uncorrupted", to ME, would mean that they have perfectly preserved bodies that still look alive. I mean, even Medgar Evers was found in good condition when he was exhumed. Oh, also those frozen Peru people and tar people in France...I guess I'm saying that I don't necessarily think you need to have lived a sanctified life to be somewhat preserved by the earth after you are dead and gone. That whole "rotting corpse smells like roses" thing, though, I've never witnessed but I sure think THAT'S interesting!

Oh, and as long as I'm on the rant wagon, applied kinesiology is a parlor trick and a scam, and it really bothers me when people say things like "I know she's in Heaven, watching over you/me." when talking about a dead relative. I hope that you all say "I HOPE she's in Heaven, laughing her butt off at me." when I'm 6 feet under. I don't KNOW I'll go to Heaven...I HOPE so, but it's not a guaranteed dealio. Please pray for me? I need all the help I can get, obviously.

The End

2009-12-31T19:39:00.003-06:00

...of a lot of things this year. It seems time to say goodbye to a friend. It's the "end" of his life here on earth, but the beginning of his eternal rest. Please pray for him and his family.

Butch didn't have any major endings, but he didn't have any major illnesses or injuries this year!
The end of my marathon endeavors. I won't be running another marathon. Maybe I'll run another half this year, but I'm pretty sure the marathon training and run wrecked me for the Olympics, anytime soon.

It's the end of the never-ending weird weather year. We barely had a summer. I hope the winter will be mild and short and we have a refreshing, decent MN summer.

This year marked the end of a marriage in our family. It shook us to our core and seriously damaged our ability to trust. We have become much stronger through this, don't worry, but please pray for the family as we try to figure out the new "normal" and if you don't mind, pray that my brother finds a good job to support his family.

This year was the end of our 8 member family! We're working on number 9 and everything is going very well in that regard. She'll be making her appearance around April 18th.

This year has also seen the end of a two-driver-only family. Katrina got her driver's permit now and all we need are some clear roads for her to practice on, so she can get her license in the fall of 2010!

We all worked on playing guitar since last Christmas and we've all gained a TON of knowledge and ability (YAY for youtube!). For a very minimal cost, we've been able to get guitars for everyone and free lessons to each other and from the internet. I highly recommend this method of music education. When you are learning something that you love and that can be picked up relatively easily, take advantage of it! We can't afford expensive lessons for all the kids, so this was a great adventure that can last for years!

Matty became an official altar boy this year, that's something new. He RELUCTANTLY did the training and has helped for exactly ONE Mass (one more this weekend then for Anna's wedding next weekend), but it's a start and helps him to better understand the Mass and become more "church community" involved. It really helps that we seem to get totally cool priests that kid around with the kids but are completely reverent and orthodox for Masses.

It was the end of waiting for Weazy to receive our Lord in the Eucharist! She had her FHC this spring and it was a wonderful event for her. She really couldn't wait (even though I tend to want to wait until I think they're ready...she really was ready!) and got to receive with her cousins and the parish school kids.

It was the end of total homeschooling for this family. I tried Kindergarten for Bocker this year and he LOVES it. It's been getting hard to wake him up so early for the bus, but I think I'll be driving him a lot this winter, and I don't mind. It's all kindergarten at his school (public) so I like the idea of him learning the early skills from someone other than me for just a couple hours a day. Hey, it's free, right? I'll bring him back home next year, as I don't really think he'd do well at the bottom of the "pecking order" in the grade school and I think he has learned the patience to sit and do lessons now at home. I really like the primary school, though, so I'll be sending the other kids there when they are ready for Kindergarten too. Hopefully they'll all get the same teacher. I like her style.

It was the end of Mariela drawing stick persons with giant heads and spiky hair. That girl draws me at least 30 pictures a day with massive scenery and details you can not believe. I have to get my scanner fixed so I can put some of her amazing art on the art blog.

No major endings for Tommy. He's just working on all the new things like being a super football fan of the universe! He is hilarious in his knowledge of the game and excitement for it. He plunks his little body down in the crook of Matty's arm or Daddy's and watches and cheers like an old pro fan. I can't believe he'll only turn TWO this February! It seems like he's been around forever.

We ended our first year babysitting the two neighbor girls. We've had a few bumps with separation anxiety here and there, but we've really enjoyed the extra company and watching them grow along with our little ones. I think Tommy is in love with the 1 year old. He can't keep his hands or lips off of her when she comes in the morning. He loves ALL babies, of course, but, I think because she only comes a few times a week with weekend breaks, that he appreciates her more when he sees her after a long separation. It will be interesting to see how he acts with the new girl in the house! I don't know if any other girl could ever replace his "ee-yah" (what he calls the neighbor girl). I can see the future where our lives separate maybe for years and they meet again in college and realize they've loved each other all along...heehee, that would make a cute story!

Well, I'm starting to think of more and more BEGINNINGS and less endings, so I'll stop now and continue the stories in the NEW YEAR...maybe even tomorrow! Hopefully, it will be a happier, less stressful year. I don't THINK it will be, but I do hope it will be. That's all we can do, right?

Happy New Year, everyone!

December Ending

2009-12-30T12:09:00.005-06:00

Well, with the best of intentions, I didn't make it through December with a post-a-day.

I was sick, that's my excuse. It seems like EVERYONE went through a barfing flu-type thing (at least on facebook!) so this family must have caught that virus too. I think it hit all the girls. So far, it hasn't affected any boys in the house...but I'm waiting for that other shoe to drop, as it always does.

I haven't been getting ANY sleep. I am stressed out and have a bad cold sore. I thought I was going to go into labor with the barfing I did yesterday.

The GOOD news is, Anna's wedding is next weekend! Yeeeehawwwww! We have a slight dilemma regarding the new address of our soon to be brother-in-law. The kids already have an "Uncle Matt". So far, we've been addressing the NEW Uncle Matt like this: Future Uncle Matt. Since that will no longer be applicable, we've decided we have to come up with some alternative name for him. What should it be??? "Uncle Matt 2" sounds lame. "Little Uncle Matt/Big Uncle Matt" are kind of rude sounding since both of them are pretty big but new Uncle Matt is quite tall. "Anna's Matt" just doesn't do him justice. We'll have to think on that one some more. Both of their last names sound a little goofy and not as personal, so we can't go by "Uncle (last name here)".

Okeydokey, ONE more post tomorrow for December, then I'll really try to post weekly, at least. I'll also try to scrounge up my camera (where did I leave that thing?) and post some more pictures or beg some off of Trina. I'm also going to try to record some of Matty's accomplishments on the guitar. He's really taking off with that thing. We need to find him a decent amp., though so he can shred some electric guitar for a change. I think that's where he'll really shine!

Now, I have to head out to ALDI for some groceries, even though I still feel like junkola. We have NO butter, eggs, cheese, bread, or other basics in the house. I did miss the whole week's trip last week but we filled in with holiday meals so we didn't feel the hurt until today!

Oh man, I just looked at Mariela and she has a goatee. It's purple marker colored. She's really been bored this morning and she's been using a marker to write in her workbook...and all over herself, apparently...oh, wait...some of the furniture too. It's a never ending battle around here, I tell ya. I have to go show her a mirror now. I'll try to get a picture before she gets a bath.
(used my cellphone)

Wrapping Up December

2009-12-27T18:58:00.002-06:00

Just check out Trina's blog for pics of Christmas. She might have a POC camera, but at least she can FIND hers!

It sure looks like we had a lot of presents in those pictures...wrapping paper will do that! This year we had to downsize the piles of stuff. It was a rough year (for a LOT of people, I know) but, thanks to the generosity of our families, and our understanding children, and the snowstorm that forced us to do a little more work and offered a distraction...everyone really enjoyed Christmas this year. We have each other. That's the most important thing!

EMERGENCY! ALERT! PRAY!

2009-12-26T19:48:00.003-06:00

From the Talley's caringbridge for today:

Good morning,

Michael had a rough evening and night. The pain now has moved into the back of the neck radiating to the top of his head. This morning he was hitting his pillow due to the tremendous headache. We recieved orders to increase his pain
pump yesterday afternoon but the pain continues. I also have been giving him oral pain meds on the hour. Michael has been sleeping since yesterday at 10:00am. This is the only way for his body to deal with his discomfort. I have just called the nurse again.

I just spoke to the nurse regarding his pain and she said the doctor wants to transport Mike to the hospital by stretcher tomorrow morning. They would like to start him on a new IV medication that works well with his current one. He will most likely become even more sedated. If this medication controls the pain better without any other complications he may come home in three days. If he becomes worse he will remain in the hospital for his remaining days left here with us. The doctor feels this is our only shot to get better control otherwise he will be continuously trying to play catch up with his pain.
I knew he was hanging on to see Christmas with us, I was hoping he wouldn't be in so much pain.
We all received wonderful presents from him. The kids and I each got a teddy bear made out of Michael's shirts. The kids say daddy on the arm and mine said, Mike. Last night they all slept with their teddy's that smell like daddy.
Then he turned to me and said what do I give to my wife? Knowing this is the last present I give her. He handed me a necklace with a Gold heart pendent that opens for our pictures to be placed into. On the back he engraved " I will always be with you! Love Michael. The tears rolled down my checks. I can't believe with everything he has been enduring he wanted to give me one last gift. I will always treasure and wear that necklace for the rest of my life. Thank you, Honey! Last night I just layed on the bed next to him and held him tightly. I just kept asking Jesus to come and relieve his pain. I told him I will love him for eternity and I will not say goodbye. Our love has no end! Michael kept saying, it's time for me to go home. We looked at eachother then and told eachother how much we hate whats happening. That we will miss being together.

God Bless!
Love Nicole & Michael

December Spam

2009-12-26T03:30:00.002-06:00

Man! I have been getting some WEIRD spam lately! I even got some Cyrillic spam. That was very strange.

I woke up at 3 am because Trina had Mari overnight in her room and needed me to come and get her. Trina had been throwing up. I think it might have been some questionable meatballs. I don't eat meatballs anymore (unless I make them, myself) since the whole "went into labor with Niklaus" incident of 2003.

I also had another crazy dream.

I flew to England (Boy! Were my arms TIRED! ba dum, ching) and met my sweet friend, Antonia! I was there with my mom and I think Trina was there with me. We were in her kitchen, doing some cooking and I was trying to figure out why her butter (which I was cutting, for some reason) was making noise. She laughed and asked why we thought it was so strange. I figured out that all butter in England had internal graters and I just couldn't figure out how to shut it off. Why I'd want grated butter, I'll never know.

Her husband walked in with their son, Joey and a friend. I couldn't believe that Joey was almost as tall as me (10 years old?) and I said "It's just WRONG that he's almost bigger than me!". I resisted the urge to talk to him like he was a baby or to grab him and hug him. He looked mildly amused by me but then went to go hang out with his friend, like most 10 year olds would. I was just happy to be there, visiting with Antonia. We sat and chatted about how long we'd known each other. I said, "I'm pretty sure it was 1999 when we first 'met' on the blogs." but that didn't make any sense at all, since I've only been blogging since about 2005! I did remember that it was shortly after they got married that we became friends. I was very surprised to find myself there, in her actual kitchen and country and didn't remember getting there. It was a pleasant, wonderful feeling to have a "free" visit (even if I sort of knew it was a dream) and we just enjoyed the time.

(Do do do, do do do, do do do...wavy lines...back to the real world!)
I think I had that dream because I was telling someone about Antonia and how she got to meet the Pope while she was in her wedding dress. Also, the Holy Father got knocked down at midnight Mass and I automatically think of Antonia when I think of him..."Joey" is Joseph Benedict (isn't that just cute?). So, "Hi!", Antonia! It was nice to visit you in my dreams! Keep blogging about that cutie pie son of yours and your life in England so I don't feel so bad about the fact that I'll probably never get to pinch his little cheeks (at least while he's still a baby..he'd probably think that is weird when he's 18 or so). I hope you have lots more babies so I have a chance at some babycheeks sometime in the future! I'm glad to have "met" you online and value your friendship (obviously, since I actually DREAM of meeting you in person!), opinions, and advice! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

P.S. Antonia is the one who inspired me to write a post-a-day in December. I only officially missed about 2 days (minus Christmas eve and Christmas day...we were busy with family, and tiredness, digging out of snow, untying twisties, and installing batteries in presents...you know how it goes!).

Snowy December

2009-12-24T14:43:00.003-06:00

(Huh? I THOUGHT I posted on Christmas eve! Here is the post I had in my edit draft pile but never got a chance to hit the "publish" button, for some reason. Better late, than never!)

We're not stuck, but it's looking very White Christmas-y around here! Butch and the neighbor have been puzzling over the non-starting snowblower...no go. So, it's a group thing and we're all attacking the piles of snow together. We had Butch's family over this morning for a very successful brunch. Now, I have to put together some stuff for the Dehmer party (my family) over at Trine's.

I'm sending Analise with Butch and whoever else wants to go to the children's Mass (Weazy is in the choir) and then we're off to try and get up Trine's driveway. I'm in the choir for midnight Mass, so we'll (hopefully) be able to make it back to town!

Joyful Christmas Eve, everyone!

(p.s. I know Enya is a little freaky/new-agey but this rendition is beautiful!)

Yuck December

2009-12-23T13:03:00.003-06:00

I nearly had a root canal this morning and the dentist told me that the nerve will zap me for 24 hours but if it's more than that and really bothering me (I believe she said something like "pain that brings you to your knees"), then I get to go back for a root canal and crown. Yay.

There's a huge storm coming and might cut off our Christmas fun family time.

I have zero money to pay any bills that might come my way in the next few days.

Butch's side of the bed deflated last night and I can't figure out what's wrong with it (BTW, "lifetime warranty" on the Sleepnumber bed does NOT actually mean lifetime warranty).

BUT, we have our health, for now...we have each other, even if it might be only on the phone this weekend, and we have our Lord, whom we may not get to visit in the Eucharist if the roads don't let us.

So, what have I got to complain about?

I'm just tired from staying up way too late wrapping presents (hurts my back enough to make me cry)and getting up way too early to get to the very last dental appt that was available... so ignore this whole, whiny post.

December Confusion

2009-12-22T08:53:00.003-06:00

Hmmm, I thought I wrote a post yesterday? Guess I didn't! I got up early, got Bocker off to school, took some of the kids last-minute shopping, babysat the rest of the day, then went to a neighbor's party with our whole family. I met some new neighbors, which was really nice.

WHEW! Today is a little bit calmer.

I woke up around 11:30 to Analise SCREAMING, "MOM!". Mari had a high fever and was feeling terrible. I brought her downstairs to try to get her to take some Tylenol and sleep on the couch. Her fever must have broke in the middle of the night because she feels just fine and perky again now. That was different.

Tomorrow is going to (possibly) be another day of babysitting, keeping the kids from driving each other nuts (it's supposed to start snowing and NOT stop), and figuring out some last minute Christmas stuff.

If I can round up my camera, I'm going to post some funny pictures later. Have a great day!

"Silent" December

2009-12-20T13:57:00.002-06:00

We sing a Christmas concert at 10:20 on Christmas Eve then midnight Mass 11pm, right after that.

We will conclude with the Hallelujah chorus (We will be singing our version!).
St. Michael's Church in St. Michael MN. Midnight Mass is so nice. I try to go every year that I can!

Lazy December Posting

2009-12-19T21:00:00.004-06:00

I'm all shot from the day, so I'm being lazy and linking to Trina's post. We forced Butch to be Santa for the neighbor and her friend's families (they were having a party and provided the Santa suit). He balked, at first, but he really liked it (I knew he would!) and we waited at the neighbor's house, across the street. Since I had a lasagna in the oven, and since the neighbors hadn't eaten yet...we turned it into an impromptu party (the BEST kind!).

Go to Trina's post for awesome shots of SantaButch and family!

December Dentistry

2009-12-18T21:06:00.003-06:00

Analise lost a tooth (Thankfully! It had a cavity! She has one other tooth that has a cavity and IT is loose, as well...I told her to work on it!) this month. Niklaus had a SUPER loose tooth in front and the adult tooth was coming in behind it, like a shark. I finally convinced him to yank the sucker.

I have a special method where I tell them, "Okay, I'll just tie this dental floss around it. If it doesn't come out right away, I'll just take the string off and we'll try again later." Then I yank it so fast, they don't have time to even realize that I pulled it.

My little neighbor girl came over the other day (I've already yanked two of her baby teeth and one of her sister's.) She asked me if I thought her tooth was "ready". I told her that it wasn't quite ready, but to come back in a couple of days. Today she came over and asked me, again if I thought it was ready to be pulled. It's her front, top tooth so, in my humble (semi-professional tooth puller) opinion, I told her that I could try to pull it, but that it might hurt too much and that she should come back in a couple of days.

I have a chipped tooth where I had an old filling but they won't be able to fix it until after Christmas and it's starting to HURT! All those Christmas cookies and chocolate! All that savory good Christmas food! All those yummy drinks and Bob's Candy Canes! Oh well, I'll just have to depend on New Year for the good stuff.

I think I should get a present from the tooth fairy for Christmas this year. I give her tons of business!

December Prisoner

2009-12-17T14:48:00.003-06:00

We trapped a ladybug this morning. Tommy loves watching it crawl up the jar. Is it more cruel to let it go outside, keep it in the jar, or smush it?

Any Hindu out there want to weigh in?

Facing December

2009-12-16T15:45:00.003-06:00

This is my niece, Madeline (back in late August). I missed her baptism because of illness in our family. I hope she forgives me, someday.

She looks like the forgiving type.

I think we'll be okay.

December Movie Review

2009-12-15T16:55:00.003-06:00

MAN! IT WAS COOOOOOLD TODAY! So, I decided to get the kids out of the house so they would stop climbing the walls and bugging each other. I also had to use the gift card that I got last year for the theater. It was 25 bucks, so I only had to shell out 5 dollars for all of our tickets!

We went to see The Princess and the Frog.

I thought it was going to be some super PC movie about black and white, injustice, blah blah blah...

BOY! Was I pleasantly surprised! I actually cried...well..."teared up a little" at some of the parts. I really liked the voices, the story, the characters...pretty much every thing about it. I can't really think of ONE controversial thing about it. There's a little bit of "voodoo" reference, but what Disney movie DOESN'T have some "magical, fantasy" aspect? They didn't over-do that part, and it was so unbelievable, you don't leave there thinking "Oh no! They're trying to turn my kids into superstitious voodoo priests!" or anything like that.

Thumbs up. Go see it. Even Mari and Tommy watched and stayed still for the whole thing. The 10 previews before the movie, I could have done without (Especially the Chipmunks movie...that one looks seriously disturbing.)!

Sleepless in December

2009-12-14T03:35:00.002-06:00

I woke up from a dream in which I was wrestling a capybara.

I had the name "Emanuela Devins" running through my head all night so I googled it. It doesn't mean anything but it got me thinking about that name "Emanuela". I looked it up and it's of Hebrew origin meaning "God is with us.". That's nice. "Devins" (which, interestingly, I keep mistyping as "Devina") had this origin: (Celtic) Poet, Savant

I also found out (from a baby names website) that Michelle Duggar gave birth to her 19th child very early (preeclampsia) and she was due in March! I can't imagine having an under 2 pound baby and how scary that might be. They named her "Josie Brooklyn". The Josie is cute, the Brooklyn...not so much, but if you HAD to take a "J" name, I do like Josie (although, I would have just made it "Josefina or Josephine").

December Cuddling

2009-12-13T19:48:00.002-06:00

I laughed my butt off when my good pal, Mr. H wrote this post:

"The youth choir sang at Mass last night - they did a great job. The song they sang during the preparation of the gifts was the Katina's Draw Me Close. Below are the lyrics.

Draw Me Close
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause no one else can take Your place
To feel the warmth
of Your embrace
Help me find a way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

Listening to the words, I began to form an image of Jesus "drawing me close", pressing me into his big, strong, hairy-chest. There I was "feeling the warmth of His embrace", and I couldn't help but notice how the whole song's imagery seemed awfully, well, feminine.

I really hope heaven isn't like that, because that would be really awkward. I've never thought of Jesus as a hugger. I mean I'm sure he hugs babies, and little kids all the time, and probably women too, but I'm going to go out on a limb here d have to guess He'd opt for a knuckle bump from the fellas.

Don't get me wrong I know Jesus loves me, and my wife assures me that he's going to hug me if I do get to heaven (if for no other reason than for this post). I'm just sometimes surprised how some of these songs seem to be written in such a way that they can be sung to Jesus or to a wife/girlfriend.But like I said, the youth choir did do a nice job."

So, I couldn't help but chuckle a little when I saw Mr. H tonight at Mass, and the selection for the Communion meditation included these lyrics (Your Love Is Extravagant):

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant

Wow. I suppose it's true, that Jesus loves us all very intimately and we should be entranced by Him always...but my Trina noted, "It sounds like the lines came from Twilight.".

Busted in December

2009-12-13T15:58:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I missed ONE day. Big whoop.

Actually, we were very busy yesterday. In the morning, I went to the benefit breakfast for the Talleys. Their neighbors organized it (Applebee's facilitated the event) and the kids served the breakfast. A bunch of people donated some REALLY cool prizes (one I was hoping to win was the American Girl Doll. It was "Rebecca", the one Weazy was hoping to get for Christmas). I did not win, but it was really nice to be a part of something like that.

THEN, I had to do a whole bunch of last minute shopping for Anna's bachelorette party. It was so great the way it worked out. Butch and the other bro-in-laws went out to shoot in Menomonie (Anna's Matt's brother, Chris couldn't join them because he was called away for an emergency with their son, Mason...say a little prayer that they can figure the fever thing out!), but they had a very great time. They went to shoot clay pigeons at Matt's parent's farm, back to Menomonie for tavern fun, back to Matt's house for...I don't know...drinkin' dude stuff, I suppose. Butch reported that they had a great time.

Us girls (about 17 or so) went to Rachie's house (so nice of her to host it!) and made some DEEELICIOUS treats, chatted like girls do, and opened presents. Then, at 9pm, the LIMO came. We planned on heading to the cities to do some Christmas lights touring and visit a club or two...then Anna decided we should head back to our home town for some hick bar hopping. It was so so so fun to see Anna really enjoy herself and cut loose! We ended up at a bar where a local band was playing and I was so amused by how skeezy guys are these days...I suppose they were always like that, but my whole adult life, I've only been with Butch at the bars, so the skeezers would leave me alone. Not that they were "hitting" on me, mind you. Really, it's hard to be sexy and funky when you're 5 months pregnant with your 7th child and the only one NOT drinking! Anyway, the guys were super funny to watch. Some of the other groups we ran into were really funny too. There was this one girl who had a birthday party and they were wearing old bridesmaids dresses...not sure how the theme followed through...also there was a "purple party" for another birthday girl. That was was actually kind of cute. The guys in the party were all wearing festive necklaces along with the girls. Okay, it was kind of lame, but it was SOMETHING. All in all, it was a very successful party day. Here, at home, Trina entertained my three youngest and my sister's four until we got home at almost 2ish am. I was crashed.

I missed Mass this morning (which was a good thing, I heard since they let a nun talk for over 20 minutes!) so I am going to 6pm Mass. It's good to have that option as I was in no condition to sit at Mass this morning. I hadn't had a drink (unless you count sparkling apple cider?) but I felt like I had the WORST hangover. Now, I have this theory that the reason you feel so crappy the day after going out has less to do with the alcohol than the pounding music and the strain of having to talk over it, staying up later than you are used to, and having to contort your body into unusual shapes just to make your way in and out of crowded bars...oh wait, that's probably just me. I must have said, "Oh! Excuse me!" a thousand times last night because of my belly bumping into people.

That Lovin' You Feelin' Again

2009-12-11T23:45:00.001-06:00

You know that twitterpated, wonderful feeling you have when you think you might first be in love? You know how it consumes you and every time you think of your beloved you get that feeling? You could be sitting at class, strolling a cart through the store, walking down the street, working out at the club and all of the sudden, you think of your new beloved and whoooohoooooohoooooooo you get "that feeling"?

It's amazing, isn't it? Do you remember how it would hit this little part at the bottom of your stomach and all of the sudden your face would flush and you felt like you just HAD to see your beloved at that very moment? You just KNEW at that moment that you must, for sure, LOVE that guy/girl! Oh, it is glorious (and I don't use that word, ever)!

I was talking, one time, about this to my sister, Katrina. We both agreed (big surprise) that people don't realize that they will NEVER feel that feeling again, ever. Some people have that immature notion of "love": that they must only "love" their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend if they have "that feeling" and if they don't have "that feeling", no matter how hard they try to get it back again, then they must not really "love" that person anymore and it's over.

SO WRONG!

Here's the thing: Love is so so so soooooo much more than "that feeling"! I didn't even really realize this until about 5 years ago. CRAZY WOMAN! Why would you admit that? Don't you LOVE Butch?

Of course, you fool! I really, truly, and with all my heart, body, and soul LOVE my husband. At first, I loved him because he seemed to be right for me (selfish) and he seemed to really like me for who I was (selfish) and he seemed to really think that I was great, even when I didn't feel so great about myself (selfish). I had "that feeling" and it was awesome!

Then, we had children and got busy and took each other for granted. I still "loved" him but it sure seemed like it came a little harder than it did before and it was on occasion that I ventured to imagine why people left their marriages. It was scary and stupid, I decided, to leave the person with which you had so much stability and comfort...even if you hadn't grown past "that feeling".

I don't know when the "change" happened, but I feel like, with every passing year, I LOVE Butch more and more and feel even more bonded and IN LOVE with him. It's a NEW kind of twitterpated, a new and wonderful kind of love that makes me have a funny feeling in my stomach. It's sort of the mirror image of what I felt way, way back when. It's the kind of funny feeling that comes up when I think about how I would feel if I would lose him...sick to my stomach about EVER being with anyone other than him. I know it sounds a little bit naive, but I could never, never be with anyone else. No one could love me like he does. No one could love my children the way he does. No. I chose very well, back then. I used to think that I made my decision based on "that feeling" and that I might have chosen differently if I had given myself a chance to mature...but now I really don't think that matters. I really believe that REAL love happens when you stop waiting for it to happen and you start WORKING and BUILDING right where you are.

I told a young man in a new relationship (tonight!) that, if you don't "know" within the first few dates, then it will be a choice: you start to decide what you will "put up with" and, if it's too much, a person should just call it and leave with honor. That's why I believe that "marital relations" should actually be saved for actual MARRIAGE. You have NO regrets when you leave a sub-par relationship. Your body didn't get in the way of your decision and you have left no part of yourself behind to dwell with that other person and any other relationship they might have in the future. You actually COULD leave and "just be friends". What a great thing it would be to not have to play those stupid, emotional games!

This horrible Tiger stuff brought those thoughts around again. Why would ANYONE feel like "the grass is greener" or need anyone other than the person with whom they CHOSE to build a life? I don't understand it and, I suppose, I don't EVER want to understand it, because that understanding would mean that I don't love Butch, and never did. What if Tiger would have expressed to his WIFE how he felt having so much overwhelming wealth, talent, popularity made him feel like life was "too big" to be contained within his marriage? What if he had told her that he had women throwing themselves at him and that it was too much for him to handle, as a man? Maybe, if they had gotten help with that reality, they could have gotten even stronger in their relationship and teamed up to repel all of the evilness that is constantly trying to break apart ALL families? I don't know, but I do know that he wouldn't be in the trouble he's in now. I pray for his family, but I don't know how you come back from that kind of betrayal.

I wish all people who were thinking about being unfaithful could see, in a magic ball, the tragic and sickening consequences of their actions. I wish they could FEEL what it feels like to each person involved (spouse, children, in-laws). I wish they could, for one moment, take that moment and banish the thought forever. The moment a person gives attention to, or accepts attention from someone, other than their spouse, is the beginning of the end of any chance at that REAL, lasting love that God intended for the original couple.

Love is an ACTION! Love isn't a touchy feely FEELING...it may start out that way, but it can't hold on without many ACTS of love on the part of both people in the relationship.

Find ways to ACT upon love, to strengthen the bonds of love between you and your beloved, EVERY DAY.

No one has/could ever build a life of PURE JOY out of a sordid, "secret", skanky affair. It's tacky, embarrassing, life-altering, family murdering, miserableness for all humanity.

Thus ends my rant for today. I've been working on this one for a while. If you are still with me here, you must really, really love me (or be a glutton for punishment...either way, I love you right back!).

Latergaters.

Cooler in December

2009-12-10T22:26:00.003-06:00

A week or so ago, I noticed that Tommy found an unusual "toy". My in-laws like to go to those local business expos and get free stuff (pens, pads of paper, funny hats, balls) to bring over to us. We have a lot of little advertising doodads around but Tommy really became fond of a neoprene can cooler (just like one of these). It is navy blue with a white "Anchor Bank" logo on it. He liked how soft it was, I guessed, and he would put his little fist through it and rest it on his forearm. I didn't notice how much he liked to wear it, until I realized the other day that he woke up from his nap...STILL wearing it! When I offered to help him get it off, he yelled at me! I asked him, "Tommy, what IS that?" and he looked at me like I must be stupid or something and said:

"Football."

?

I told the kids, "Hey, ask Tommy what that can cooler thingy is!". He had the same answer, every time!

Now, Tommy is the first sub-two year old in the house to even give a hoot about any sport. We noticed his love of sports when, during the playoffs, he watched the Yankees and Twins play. He started to actually PITCH the ball as though he were a real, live, professional pitcher...with follow through and everything! We tried to capture it on film but I accidentally erased it. It was amazing. He was REALLY watching the pitcher on the mound and copying his every move!

His football obsession is even worse. The other day, he was fussing so Matty asked him if he wanted to just snuggle on the couch and watch a show. He said "Yeah, football!". Matty told him that there was no football on today. He was SO disappointed, so Matty tried to find some sport channel on the menu. That's when Tommy discovered ESPN Classics. He made us watch some 1982 College game. If we turned the channel, he was incensed! How could we? That's FOOTBALL!

Butch has created a monster, for sure this time.

It wasn't until today that I figured out what that little neoprene "football" meant to him. At first, we thought it maybe represented the player's pads? Then, we thought that the little logo looked like some football team logo and that he recognized it as something like that? NOPE. I got it! He watches the games SO closely, that he's noticed how the quarterback has that little armband which has the plays written in it. He thinks his "armband" is that thing. He also wore it to bed tonight. Luckily, he's got teeny arms and it doesn't cut off circulation, but I think maybe Santa might bring a REAL one for Tommy this year. Instead of football plays, I think it might have some pictures or football cards inside it. It will be his favorite present and I'm sure Santa will make it JUST the right size, because I'd be willing to bet he will NEVER take it off!

(Always take pictures of your kids when they do naugh...I mean "adventurous" things. It will help to diffuse the frustration. That smudge on his cheek was my super-stay lipstick. It superstayed on him for 4 days. I finally got it off, after a bath, with some baby oil, and some scrubbing.)

December Mystery Revealed!

2009-12-09T17:07:00.002-06:00

GIRLS RULE!

At least NOW, in THIS house, they do!

Okay, now for the name suggestions?

I really like Cecilia and it's been an option since Analise...but was never grabbed before. The sisters all have threatened to take it...I might this time but, since this is a nikname family, I can't think of one for that name (I HATE the way "cece, seesee" sounds, blech) I also like Irene for a middle name. I'm open to suggestions (for now!). The only qualifications are that it has to "go" with Katrina, Analise and Mariela. It has to be sort of "special and different" but not weird like "Loquashia" or something. It has to be a little bit princessy but not overly so. Here are the names we can NOT have (nieces):

Alexis
Anika
Gabriella
Anabella
Paulina
Lucia
Sofia
Madeline

Okay, have fun with suggestions!

December Hope

2009-12-08T23:25:00.000-06:00

Please say a prayer for my friends in their most difficult hours! Michael Talley is hanging on for the holidays but he is in a lot of pain and is afraid to sleep, lest he never wake up. Here is his caringbridge site. Here is a lovely article in the Star Tribune about the family. Here is a story (with video!) of the Talley surprise we pulled off a couple of weeks ago. The Santa is my dad! There are a lot of my friends and some of my family in the crowd! It was such a nice day and it made the family so happy to see the love and support they have.

Please, leave an encouraging message/donation or just drop a line to let them know that you are praying for them. Michael needs assurance that his family will be lifted up when he is gone.

Thank you!

December Tunes You Love To Hate (A Poll)

2009-12-07T19:19:00.004-06:00

Look to the sidebar of the blog to find the poll of all of the songs nominated for worst Christmas song ever (according to my fb friends and my family). Put in your vote and I'll post the results next week sometime. Meanwhile, go see Crescat for a really awesome "Tacky Nativity Scene" contest that will make you laugh and that would probably make Baby Jesus cry (you can see the nominees with this link until tomorrow when she will probably post the finalists in the poll).

(Saw these in Target. Some things just defy good taste beyond all belief.)

Gender in December

2009-12-06T17:26:00.003-06:00

I have a dilemma. It's probably a really stupid one but I'll throw it out there for ya, anyway. When I first found out I was pregnant, it was a week after the two little girls told me that they were "praying for a baby girl". I was floored that they would want another sister already, since Tommy was barely one and a half years old?! So, after trying to convince them to shift their prayers to some infertile couples that we knew (and having them say that they would pray for THEM too, but that they were still going to pray that we got a baby girl!), their prayers came true.

I didn't want to know the sex of my first baby, but I did hope for a girl and got what I wanted. I knew with all the others, for different reasons. I have every other sex, so this next one should be a girl...but you know about God's funny little jokes on me and how He likes to mess with me all of the time? I am very tempted to NOT find out the sex (at my appt. this Wed.), since it doesn't matter at ALL (never did!) what the sex of the baby is...on the OTHER hand...

I have tried to prepare the girls for the possibility that this baby is defying the odds of this family and it will be a BOY.

Me: Mari, you know, this baby might actually be a BOY?

Mari: But what if it's a girl?

Me: But what if it's a BOY?

Mari: But what if it's a girl?

You can see where this line of questioning goes...EVERY TIME and you can see, also, part of my problem. Analise is a little more practical, but I can see that she REALLY BELIEVES that her prayers will be answered and that it can really be nothing but a girl!

I know, I know, you are thinking "Oh, they will love the baby no matter what!". Yeah, that's true of course, but I wonder (especially about Mari)

(conversation happening RIGHT NOW)

Trina: Mari, will you still love the baby in mommy's tummy if it's a boy?

Mari: (thinking...) Yeah.

Bocker: (piping in) But it's gotta sleep in MY room, so it's a BOY

Mari (shrieking) NO! It's sleeping in MY room, so it's a GIRL!

sigh

Now they are running up to their rooms to plan who has the most room in their rooms and discuss further what the baby might be according to who has the most appropriate sleeping space.

I think I'll find out on Wednesday. (Hahahahaha, probably something will be "in the way" and I won't be able to find out?! That would be JUST LIKE God to do to me! He is so funny!).

What do YOU think?

I Thought He'd Be Born In December

2009-12-05T13:30:00.004-06:00

Back when I was pregnant with my BIGGEST baby, I had a due date of November 30th. I knew he was a boy, and I knew there was a chance I'd go overdue, so I theorized that he'd be born on the feast of St. Nicholas. Since we planned to name him "Niklaus", I thought it would be super-extra-cool if he could be born on his saint's feast day!

Well, as you know, God has other, funnier plans (always) and I went into natural labor at around 2am on the 30th of November. Yup, my ginormous baby, whom I thought could stay in there for another week (I wasn't in a hurry, I was going to give birth at a hospital that is 7 minutes away and I wasn't quite ready. I also had just gone to the doctor the day before and wasn't even really dilated at all!). His birth story is my favorite if you want to read about it here.

Fast forward to today. It is the eve of the feast of St. Nicholas and I can't help but remember about wanting an extra week of being pregnant (which would have made him over 11 pounds, I'm sure!) with the first baby born after two losses. I guess, looking back, I treasured that pregnancy a little more than any before because of the hope that a baby, brought to term, represented to me. His delivery was the worst of the the first four, but he is the BEST kid. He's easy going, friendly, funnier than all-get-out, and snuggly (he will probably always be snuggly, even when he's a grown man). He just turned 6 last week and is just as funny as he was when he was a week old, six years ago tonight. He made me laugh (as soon as the pain from giving birth to that chunk of baby!) from the moment I laid eyes on him. He never gets self conscious or embarrassed when people laugh at the funny things he says and does. He just always assumes everyone is laughing WITH him (which is usually true!) and I hope he never loses that ability.

Happy Birthday/saint's day, Niklaus John, my sweet, big, squishy boy (who is still obsessed with Texas and wants to go there someday)!

(Bocker, holding up our town's water tower on a walk we took last month. He is still really big and tough for a kid his age. It's a good thing he has a smooshy heart. He is a gentle giant.)

Will It FINALLY Happen In December?

2009-12-04T16:38:00.002-06:00

Go here to vote in an informal poll about the Mass translation re-vamp! I'm so excited (have been since last year) about this. I hear teeny rumblings in my parish but I don't think the people will quite know what hit them? Whatever happens, I know it will all be old news and okeydokey within a couple of years (with minor growing pains). I'm just very happy it's all in the works and coming soon!

H/T, the wonderful Fr. Z

If We Make It Through December

2009-12-03T14:16:00.004-06:00

HA! I bet you thought I wouldn't even make it past the third day! WELL la dee fricken dah, here I am so there tttthhhhppppttttt!

Seriously, I am so stressed out that I have a rash all over my body (TMI alert, whoops, too late) that doesn't bother me during the day, but at NIGHT it drives me NUTS. I'm pretty sure it's candida infection (too much sugar, stress, not enough "good" bacteria, overgrowth of yeast in my whole system) according to the internet searches I did on "rashes during pregnancy". By the way, do NOT look up anything having to do with "rashes, images". It's not pretty.

Is it bad to secretly (not anymore, I guess) wish that a couple thousand dollars just fell in my lap during December so I wouldn't have to worry about presents, decorations, donations, food, etc.? To make matters worse, Butch has extra time off during the holidays (for which he doesn't get paid) and that's always a concern. I know I know, I should be all "but it's about family, and love, and thanksgiving, etc." and it SHOULD be about those things, but the other things matter, too.

I heard Glenn Beck this morning talking about how he sold his house (took a loss) so that he could work his way to being debt free. I actually considered what would happen if we went back to renting after all these years. It wouldn't solve the problem of a car (we still owe for a couple of years on the van) but BOY wouldn't it be great to be even CLOSE to being debt free? It can't happen right now (I'm pretty sure we couldn't afford the loss we would have to take on our home in this market) but it's an interesting proposition I might explore if the market perks up.

I don't usually talk about this personal stuff but I'm so stretched right now (financially and literally...this baby is growing FAST!") that I know my good pals who read this will sympathize without getting all mushy about it. BUT, lest I be accused of being too dry in this post, I offer this picture. Go ahead, stare at it and try not to say "awwwwwwwwww"!

(My niece, Madeline. I get to squish those cheeks in real life. Jealous?)

December Days

2009-12-02T08:42:00.003-06:00

This is going to be a monumental December! We are getting ready for my baby sister's wedding the first week of January. Her birthday is Christmas eve and we have her bachelorette party coming up soon too. It's the "month of Anna", I guess! Oh yeah, also Christmas is this month.

We had her first shower in November for our family:

Matt's family had a shower for Anna at Matt's house (while he was still at sea) and I got to hold his sweet little nephew, Mason (this is Matt's Bro and sis-in-law's blog).

Mason is just a month older than Tommy and has a syndrome called "VCFS". It's a combination of symptoms (not the same for every child) that caused Mason to need heart surgery when he was just a few months old, causes feeding and development problems, and recently caused him to start having seizures. Look into this syndrome if you have time. It's a lot more common than you'd think and it's good to be aware of for understanding and advancement of research!

Posting For You Daily In December Happy Makes Me

2009-12-01T10:10:00.005-06:00

I just love it when I get comments from people from other countries or company spam comments. They make me laugh. I save them in my email box for days when I feel sad. Here's one for your pleasure:

"Could not find a suitable section so I written here, how to become a moderator for your forum, that need for this?"

Heeheeheehee, come ON! You can TOTALLY tell that this must be a native speaker, right? (Maybe native to Malaysia!). That right there is some funny stuff!

It's my intention to post daily pictures during December, too.

Here's me in my Halloween costume this year:

Guess who?

Last Christmas

2009-11-13T01:07:00.002-06:00

I hate the sound of it, but they are trying to make the best of a rally, in how he feels right now, to decorate the house and prepare for saying goodbye. PLEASE, if you can donate ANYTHING to keep this family in their home when their daddy dies, please, do so!

I usually can't stand Fox 9's sucky local reports but this time, they did a good job profiling my friend Nicole and her family in my hometown. Watch it here.

Yo, Vinny, Yous a Catlick Now! (I Mean: "Vincent's Baptism")

2009-11-11T18:51:00.004-06:00

Sorry, I can't ever help but think in mobster when I say Vincent's name.

Here's the view from the top of the steps of the back entrance to our church. I want Butch to make a patio similar to this in the back yard. Wouldn't that be sweet?

Here's Vinny's family of some sisters and girl cousins protecting him in his paganbaby state before Mass.

Here is what happens EVERY time we come in the back way...Tommy wants a drink and Matty helps him. It almost guarantees we'll have big water splotches on our shirts and children that have to pee five minutes into Mass. I think it's pretty awesome that Matty does the things he does for the little ones. I don't even have to ask (most times). He's a good son (said in the mobster voice in my head).

While the family waits for Mass to begin (They are sitting next to a scale model of the historic Church of St. Michael. It's really amazing if you ever get to visit our church, you won't want to miss it.), Tommy makes a break for the water fountain. Of course.

Usually, when there's a baptism during Mass (instead of the huge group baptism on a Sunday afternoon...this one was at a 5pm service on Sat. night), the parents, Godparents, and maybe some siblings and a grandparent or two go up to the baptismal hottub...I mean "font". I thought this picture was cool because it only shows about 1/4 of the family that was crowding around that thing! Vincent was so funny during his splash. He had a fun, happy look the whole time and never cried at all.

This is the ONLY, I repeat ONLY time I don't mind applause during Mass:

I took a quickie shot of the dome of the church to show again how pretty the iconography of our church is. You can't see the names of the apostles but I had to for sure give props to my patron, St. Thomas. I doubt that he's happy to be my self appointed patron (get it? get it?).

After Mass, Tommy hopped up on the table where baby Madeline was sleeping in her carrier. He wouldn't let anyone else kiss or touch her. He's pretty protective of the babies in the family...oh heck...he thinks ALL babies are HIS AND HIS ALONE and won't let anyone near the babies if he can help it. I think he'll be just fine around our new one in the spring. Oh, and baby Madeline will be unpaganized later this month (in a smaller church...hope we all fit!).

Insane Preggo Dream Number 942

2009-11-06T03:21:00.003-06:00

I know where this one came from. I had just read a big write up about Mary Jo Copeland and how she cares for the street people that come into her Mary's Place in the cities (here in MN). Also, I caught a bit of Slumdog Millionaire yesterday while babysitting (in the morning, before the kids were awake, of course!). I had seen that movie before and it really was a good one but a little hard to take. It's hard to think about children suffering so much in the world, with no one to care for them and everyone around them just exploiting them.

In my dream, there is a little boy of about 6 or 7. He is staying at his uncle's house. I see him because Butch and I are visiting a friend who is in a tough spot. His wife is leaving him, his in-laws hate him and they are broke. The little boy is playing on a huge playset in their yard (he is the nephew of our friend's dad, who lives with them...but our friend doesn't really have responsibility for him). They are trying to get rid of the playset so we start taking it apart and find this little boy at the end of the slide.

He is very confused but not sad. He has on a saggy diaper and that's all. I think to myself that he could certainly use some clothes and he must be able to use the toilet so I take it upon myself to help him find something of Bocker's to use. I bring him home to care for him because nobody seems to mind. The rest of the dream, I'm training him to use the toilet, teaching him to speak properly, and giving him general instructions and love. He repeats everything I ask him and then adds a question mark at the end. For instance, If I tell him, "Now, you should probably have a sweatshirt because it's cold." he'd say, "I should have a sweatshirt, because it's cold?". He'd never directly ask "why?" but I sensed that no one had ever cared about him enough to direct him in what he should do. I know that his mother is a hippie who's drugged out and his father is absent or very very mean. The little boy doesn't seem to be permanently damaged, just a little behind in ability. I take him home with me, even though we are living in poverty at a relative's house ourselves and have lots of kids who sort of resent another mouth to feed. I try to teach them that we should love our brother, even if it's someone with whom we're not related.

I woke up and whispered this prayer: Dear Lord, be with all of the abandoned children in the world. Lead them to safe adults who will love them and care for them. Keep them safe from harm and protected by their angels.

It occurred to me that we don't have any "street children" around here. They wouldn't last a week in the cold. That's the hard reality of life here in Minnesota. I know that children are neglected and abandoned all of the time, but they would be picked up by social services or cared for by a neighbor (I hope) or die from exposure very quickly. I've never seen a child huddled under a bridge or picking from a waste dump. I've never seen a child, in rags, begging on the street.

I am very disturbed by this dream. I think I fear losing my home, my own children, my husband, my way of life. I think, even worse, I fear that the world doesn't care anymore about children...or anything. I must fear that my own children might lose the ability to care about others, or become selfish, or become like everyone in the world seems to be right now. I am all about self preservation, but not at the cost of losing one's soul or ability to reach out and find enough love for someone who has none.

The Talleys

2009-10-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

"Today the nurse was out from hospice. She changed the dose Michael could receive from his PCA pump due to his increase of pain through the weekend. He state's honey, its hurting all over. My neck, shoulders, back, and the swelling in my lower extremities is awful. Last night we tried using the Oxycontin in between dosages of the Morphine. It helped some but not enough. We also, tried some Ativan to help relax him before bedtime. He sleeps well but becomes very disorientated and has bad dreams. He even got up once and I found him sleeping standing up at the bathroom sink with the water running. I guess that drug doesn't agree well with him. I told the nurse maybe we should try something else. I don't need him falling or something. I have just stood bye all these months while Michael took care of his own treatments and medications but now it will be my job to make sure he is getting the right dose and care that he needs. The nurse feels the confusion at times will become more evident and she would prefer that I take over these areas. I have been so proud over the last year, Michael able to care and do for himself. I feel it's important to keep independence as long as you can. As his wife, I will take over and provide the best care ever. For he deserves the very best.
Michael states" you Nicole are the only one I trust to care and love me completely, you are my angel!
"Ooh! Honey I feel the same about you as well.
The nurse sent pressure stockings as well to try and pull the edema out of his feet and into the upper body. It may work or it may not. For his swelling is different then the normal swelling you or I would get from our vessels. Her concerns are dehydration for Michael is not getting the fluids anymore it's being stored in his body instead. Their is nothing we can do about this. She placed him on a water pill but we can't go to high due to his low blood pressures. Lately they have been 80/44 which is very low. It has been hard sleeping next to him the last couple of nights. I hear his breathing slowing down. I think will he take that next breath. Then I pray, pray and pray!!! The nurse said today I think Michael was given the strength these last few weeks to see you through and now he will be able to relax knowing everything's all right again. I thought, okay! I can stay sick for a long time. I can keep him taking care of me, if that means I could keep him longer. Then she just hugged me tight. She said, " Nicole you are a strong women I can tell and you will get through this. Then my tears came like a water fall, I just don't want to be strong anymore, I just want my husband physically here with me forever! God please give me strength.
As for Nathan he is finally turning the corner, he should return to school on Wednesday. His cough may persist for few more days.
God Bless to all!!
Love Nicole & Michael"

Lately (part 2)

2009-10-17T14:11:00.005-05:00

Maybe I should title it "Much Late-er-ly". I don't know who even reads blogs anymore...I think, maybe the people who aren't on facebook? Heh heh.

The tree farm we went to visit when we brought the kids to see Anna and her house was absolutely wonderful. It was a pretty hot day, which got to be kind of frustrating for the kids (you can kind of see their hot faces in the pictures) when everything around us was fall themed. The bigger kids went through the corn maze (which wasn't really a "maze" at all, just a path through the corn, with a bridge in the middle, just for fun). They had a pumpkin/apple cannon that was super cool and HUGE (and LOUD!). They had two jumping castles, a petting zoo, haunted house (not really scary, just cool), picnic area, haunted path through the woods, a boardwalk surrounding a sandbox with lots of bikes and scooters for racing around, a panning-for-gold, spray painted rocks-trough (fakey, but fun), a teepee with dress-up clothes inside it, a huge hay bale climbing pile, and an awesome hayride through some of the most beautiful country I've ever seen.

We are going to Anna's for Thanksgiving and will, most likely, go to this tree farm then to pick up our tree when we are there. Anna said that they have bonfires and hot chocolate for the you-cut-your-own-tree people. That would be an amazing event for the family. That would be lots of fun (don't know how the tree would travel on top of the van for the two hour drive home?).

This boat was in a neat spot. It really looked like a fishing boat on a pond, with a dock and everything. There were fishing rods with magnets on them and the "fish" had paperclips attached so you could "catch" them. No Weazys were drowned in the taking of this picture.

This is one of Tommy's 930 funny expressions. It's the one saved for when you don't want the hayride to end and your mom says, "Come off the wagon, Tommy!".

Matty will NOT let me take a picture of him unless he is in sunglasses, disguise, or I am covert in my photo-taking. He was bored in this picture because he was too hot and way too cool to jump in the jumping castles with the little kids. I told him today that it stinks that he's all angle-y, awkward, gawky, and not my cute, squishy, chubby, little Matty anymore. He acted offended, for some reason. He did give me a huggy and a kissy, though.

I thought it was so sweet when these two were sharing food together on the teeny picnic table. She kept handing Tommy food and he kept saying, "Dank Ooo" automatically. He's so polite.

There were lots of landscape pictures but it was really one of those "you had to be there" kind of places to really take in the beauty and scope of the surroundings.

If you don't mind being a temporary Cheesehead, head on over/down/up to Pleasant Valley Tree Farm in Wisconsin (I did not receive any compensation for this endorsement, I just really liked the place!). If you want, you can tell them Laura The Crazy Mama sent ya. I won't get anything out of the deal, except maybe bragging rights.

Next installment: Vincent's baptism

Lately (part 1)

2009-10-06T13:10:00.004-05:00

My sister, Trine and I loaded up the kids into the van and rolled on over to Menomonie, WI to visit Anna. She is living at the home she will share with her hubs-to-be when they get married (in January). It's his house, but he is off to sea until right before the wedding. We miss him a lot but we had fun taking over his house for the weekend. I doubt that old house had that many little people in it since...well, maybe EVER! There were kids everywhere! We were completely freaked out by all of the steps but the kids were fairly careful the entire time. At the very end, I am the one who fell down the stairs (don't worry, I'm all better)! Anna worked very hard to paint and re-decorate the once-bachelor infested pad to a very beautiful, elegant house. It's probably over 100 years old and had been moved to it's current location. She did a LOT of work, all by herself and it turned out so nice.

Ignore my surly, apple-eating, oldest son and our mess we brought with us. I wish I had good pictures of the loft/office. It's just so perfect and cute.

That picture of the sailboat, above the mantel is actually a real picture of Matt! It's so cool how nautical themes are everywhere in the house (but not overwhelming or tacky). Anna even found some old Navy manuals (from Matt's grandpa, I think) that we had so much fun reading, out loud to each other. The "rules" of proper behavior for a Navy man were old fashioned sounding and classic.

Next, I'll post about our trip to the tree farm. I have so many awesome pictures, I wanted to save them all for their own post!

I also have pictures from our first trip of the year to the apple orchard, and of Vincent's baptism....to be continued...

Just A Reminder

2009-10-04T16:48:00.003-05:00

I know there are a million, other things to think about right now. But this stood out for me when I caught the link from Antonia's blog:

(Excerpt:)

"In his letter, the bishop reaffirmed that priests from outside the parish cannot give conferences or lead retreats at the parish without written permission from his office and that no one can use parish facilities to promote the alleged apparitions or messages. The bishop specified that the pastor should ensure that Father Perutina stop offering comments on the messages Pavlovic claims to receive on the 25th of each month.

He also asked Father Vlasic to remove from the parish Web site all references to the parish and its church buildings as a shrine or sanctuary and to ban prayers allegedly dictated by Mary or suggested by her alleged messages from liturgies and prayer services inside the church, including public recitations of the rosary."

Sad News

2009-09-21T07:23:00.003-05:00

Please, if you have time, visit my friend's site and give them a message of love and encouragement? They have stopped treatment and are leaving Michael's care in God's hands. He is in a lot of pain and they don't know how much time he has. They are trying to find some peace in their decision, but they don't want to lose their daddy/husband/brother/son. Please, pray for them today.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaeltalley

Someday

2009-09-06T04:58:00.004-05:00

We'll go back to Guatemala. I was thinking about the hotel where our friend got married and looked it up.

Casa Santo Domingo

It had been an old cathedral and convent until there was a terrible earthquake (and flooding...due to a large amount of water in a crater lake in the nearby volcano) in the old Guatemala and the city got relocated to the current location. Antigua (old city) was inhabited for some time, then people started to filter back in. The old grounds of that place were a debris dump for several generations until a commercial enterprise decided to excavate and turn it into a hotel. At the same time, the antiquities department of the government worked with them to also do some work to restore/turn it into a museum. It was absolutely beautiful.

The only thing remaining of the cathedral was the big wall behind the altar, and partial side walls. We got to celebrate Mass there! The wedding Mass was "in" the old Cathedral where, instead of a roof, they had a sort of permanent tent thing above our heads, lots of flowing, white fabric draped far above our heads and around us, wrought iron candles high above on the ruins of the cathedral walls were lit up, too. You could see, on the floor, where the original pillars once stood. The altar pedestal (looks like a stone table, which is still there, in it's original spot, being used as a modern altar) had a small painting of the Virgin, still standing after the destruction of the cathedral. Go to this site and check out the history of the excavation and look at some of the pictures of the museum. It was amazing to see in real life. I can't believe I was actually there. I hope, someday, I can go again with my family.

Here's an excerpt:

"The city was founded as Santiago de Guatemala (Saint James of Guatemala) and was one of the most important Spanish cities of the New World. As seat of the Captaincy General of Guatemala between the years 1543 and 1773, it was the political, religious, economic and cultural center of the region comprised between Chiapas and Costa Rica. Because of the destructive 1773 earthquakes and the Royal Decrees of the same year, the capital was transferred to the Valle de la Ermita (Valley of the Hermitage) and was founded as La Nueva Guatemala de la Asunción (The New Guatemala of the Assumption) and that is why the abandoned city was called “La Antigua Guatemala” (the Old Guatemala)."